Check the Gate
by phoenixnext
Summary: NanoFate AU. Fate lives her life in the limelight as the perfect starlet but with secrets that haunt her & keep her from true happiness. A chance meeting with a certain auburn beauty leaves her aching for more then tragedy strikes leaving her nearly crippled & emotionally raw. Can she rebuild her life & finally claim the happiness that's always been so far out of reach? U/D 10/22
1. Chapter 1: Families Unite and Tumble

**Disclaimer:** I do not claim ownership of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha Series or its Characters.

A/N: Re-edited 10/22, please check out the sequel to this story if you haven't yet. Reviews are always appreciated.

~"~"~"~

**Chapter One: Families Unite and Tumble **

**LAX Airport, March1, 20xx **

Hayate Yagami and her cousins were arriving for the marriage of her cousin and their brother Zafira's wedding to the Testarossa Corp President Arf Testarossa. Zafira had moved to the U.S. the previous year to live with his fiancée and the family was excited to celebrate the upcoming union. At first everyone had questioned what Arf and Zafira could possibly have in common but it was increasing clear to anyone who saw them together the normally shrewish Arf and taciturn Zafira brought out the best in each other.

"Are we really going to get to meet the American Angels?" Hayate asked for seemingly the 100th time as they walked down the disembark aisle from the aircraft.

The busty blonde walking behind her replied, "Yes Hayate-chan, I believe Alicia and Arf will be meeting us and we will be staying at the main family residence so we should have quite a number of opportunities to speak with both of them."

The small red-headed child walking next to Hayate grabbed a hold of the bouncing girl and grumbled something about not embarrassing them. The exuberant brunette laughed and poked the smaller girl on the cheek, "Come on Vita-chan I know you're excited too, we all know you love watching all those action films Fate-san makes."

"Hmm, I think I see them over there," a deep alto voice broke through the babble.

The group made their way over to two tall women standing off side from the exiting crowd. One was a young blonde with hair streaming down to her waist the other was a fiery redhead. The redhead walked forward and hugged the two older women of the arriving group first then greeted the children.

"How was your trip? Are you all hungry? Let's get your luggage and get home so we can get you all settled," she rambled in excitement, joyful in seeing her fiancé's family and their evident acceptance.

Arf turned to her cousin and began introductions, "Alicia let me introduce you to Zafira's family, this is Dr. Shamal Wolkenritter and Signum Wolkenritter," pointing to the older two women then gestured to the younger of the two girls first, "and this is Vita Wolkenritter, they are Zafira's sisters and this is Hayate Yagami his cousin."

Alicia stepped forward and shook hands with each and made warm greetings and gestures about welcoming them to the family. She then led them off to the luggage retrieval and helped them collect their baggage. She was happily outlining the necessary tasks that still needed to be completed before the wedding and was talking about how lovely she was sure the event would be. The group then set off for their parked vehicle, it was a Cadillac Escalade with all black leather interior. Vita whistled when she saw the gleaming vehicle. It was painted a glossy black with neon yellow lightning bolt trim and had darkly tinted windows.

Arf laughed at the reaction and stated, "It's one of Fate's babies. She's lending it to me so we can get everyone transported around town."

They loaded everything into the vehicle and set off with Arf driving. She pointed out sights along the way until they came up to an imposing costal property. She pulled the SUV up to the gates and then punched in a security code and they swung open. "Welcome to Testarossa House," she said with a happy chirrup to her voice. "This property has been in the family for over 120 years, we own most of the surrounding area so we have been able to keep it fairly undeveloped and private."

As the vehicle made its way up the winding driveway the younger girls stared out at the lush landscaping and off in the distance the deep blue of the ocean. Hayate suddenly got nervous, could her cousin really have captured the heart of a woman who grew up in such splendor? She hadn't always liked Arf, when they first met she had been tempted to sabotage the relationship since the woman tended to talk down to her and her cousins. It hadn't taken long though for everyone to realize the tone she used was not because she thought any less of them but how she protected herself from people trying to take advantage of her and her position.

Arf had lived the first 32 years of her life trying to avoid being used by men whose main objective had been secure her wealth. Once Arf became more accustomed to her lover's family's openness she began to see she could trust them and had shown a remarkable aptitude for protectiveness over all of them and had made it as her goal to forward each of them in their own objectives. Hayate had a passion for clothes design and Arf had introduced her to a number of mentors in Japan. Vita though still only twelve years old had a obsession with automobiles and Arf and found her books and other materials which would allow the girl to get a better idea of how vehicles were designed, manufactured, customized and maintained. With Signum and Shamal she found ways to secure grants from various other companies to help in their research in artificial joint replacement and rehabilitation therapies. Everything seemed to be coming up roses since they had somehow earned the woman's trust but how long would this last?

The SUV pulled up in front of the wide double doors of the palatial home and they all began to exit the vehicle, the girls suddenly anxious about entering a house that obviously would contain things worth more than their own home. Arf went to help the children with their bags and Alicia went to the door to unlock the door and announce their arrival. The visiting family trooped over to the door and entered the residence to be greeted by a middle aged blonde man with burgundy eyes and a teal haired woman.

Alicia stepped forward and introduced the couple. "Everyone this is my father Malcolm Testarossa and this is Lindy Harlaown a close family friend and employee."

Each of the visitors stepped forward and introduced themselves then Lindy stated she would be leaving as she had work back at the office but would be back later that evening with her sons for the dinner party. Hayate was trying to place the woman then gasped when she realized they had just met the mother of the other most famous celebrity twins, Clyde Jr. a.k.a CJ and Chrono Harlaown. Hayate was beginning to think she was going to pass out at the thought of meeting the two handsome actors.

Arf seeing Hayate's face walked over to the girl and kindly said, "They're just people Hayate, old family friends so don't freak out. Hmm…well maybe I should warn you CJ is a bit strange, he likes to play practical jokes on people but Chrono is a good boy and normally keeps him inline."

Alicia harrumphed at this and coolly replied, "CJ isn't strange. He is unique and very lovable."

Arf smiled at this defense and muttered under her breathe something about love being blind.

She then turned to the group and in an attempt to change the subject said, "Let's get you all settled, I'm sure you will want to wash up and rest before everyone gets here tonight for the dinner."

After each of the guests were settled into their respective rooms Arf came back down stairs to talk with her uncle about the coming event. The staff was handling the cooking of the large sit down dinner for twelve persons. The guests for the evening would be the visiting three Wolkenritters and Yagami, Lindy and her two sons, Amy Limietta the boys' manager, Arf, Zafira, Malcolm and Alicia. Fate was still on location in Arizona for a film and would not be home for another week.

After a shower and a quick nap each the visitors felt refreshed and made their way down to the main living room where they first met their host. Delectable smells of cooking food was wafting in the air. Malcolm took this time while waiting for their other guests to serve mixed drinks to the elders and fruit drinks to the girls then had the staff arrange small snacks to tide them over until dinner. The elder gentleman looked over his attractive female visitors and started in on questions on their lives and little anecdotes to lighten the mood.

Arf had explained to the elder Wolkenritters that while she had no issues with their marriage or homosexuality her cousin Alicia did and she asked them with more than a hint of embarrassment to hide their relationship in order to preserve the peace for the wedding. So when Malcolm started in with questions of if the women had husbands and received a negative he began talking of introducing them to potential husbands they both found the conversation uncomfortable. Vita was squirming during this conversation and on the edge of blurting out that they were married and didn't need husbands. So when Alicia reentered the room and announced the arrival of the Harlaown family and their manager it came as a welcome distraction. The next few minutes were filled with introductions and good natured jokes from CJ who seemed to know Hayate was in awe of him. Then when Zafira finally arrived the group went into the cavernous dining room and was presented with a mountain of good food and drink.

The evening looked to be going off without a hitch when CJ ever observant asked with all innocence how long Signum and Shamal had been together. The atmosphere changed from warm and engaging to one of high tension. Alicia looked over at the women in question and in a voice cold as ice asked if what CJ had said was true. Signum who was not happy with the ruse met her eyes and stated they were married and had been for nearly 10 years. Alicia then proceeded to castigate them for their unnatural relationship and Arf for inviting them into the family home. CJ at this got up and tried to calm the situation he had unwittingly unleashed. Alicia screamed at him for his betrayal in supporting them and raged on at everyone for disregarding her feelings in her own home. At this Arf and Zafira collected his family and decided it would be best to have them stay at a hotel until things were calmed down.

~"~"~"~"~"~"~

Three days later and Alicia was calling for Arf's resignation from Testarossa Corp if she did not break off her engagement. Luckily she did not have the pull to force this as she only owned 11% of the company and even with her father's 31% strong armed to her opinion she could not force her out without Fate's agreement. Fate had been called by Arf the night of the debacle and explained the situation worried what the results this would have on the ceremony planned at the family residence. Fate in turn told her to stay strong and she would come home as soon as she could to fix things. Alicia in the meantime was trying to cancel everything ordered for the wedding and was in the process of packing up all of Arf's belongings so she could ship them to wherever the _traitor_ would soon reside.

Hayate and Vita were sitting on the veranda of their hotel suite when they heard a knock on the door. Arf and Zafira had been talking with the maligned married couple in the main room, so Arf got up to answer the door. When the door swung open a strawberry blond was standing in the doorway, burgundy eyes taking in the haggard appearance of her cousin. Arf rushed forward and threw her arms around the young woman crying out her name.

Fate caught her and held her close whispering into her hair it was all going to be alright. Fate pulled her into the room and led her to the couch next to Zafira and sat them down. Fate looked over to Zafira and gave him a crooked smile that seemed to reassure the uneasy man.

She gently pushed Arf up and looked her in eye, "Ne Arf, what's all this blubbering about. I know you are much stronger than this, it's not like you to let anyone push you around, not even Alicia."

The blue eyed woman huffed and drew herself up, "You're right, I've just never seen Alicia like that. It hurts so much to have your own blood lash out at you like this."

Fate stood up and cocking her head saw the two girls staring in, she lifted her hand and motioned for them to enter. They walked over and stood close to their elders unsure of what was going to happen next.

The burgundy eyed girl looked each of the family members in the eye then bowed low to them and in a voice of humility, "I am so sorry for my sister's behavior. She had no right to say the things she did to you. I hope you will not think all of the Testarossa family is so ignorant and bigoted. I hope I will be able to convince my sister to apologize to all of you soon. In the mean time please believe me that I will do all I can to make sure the wedding goes forward as planned. I love both Arf and Zafira so there is nothing I will not do to make sure they are happy."

Signum stood up and faced the younger woman seeming to x-raying her very soul with her blue eyed glare. Normally no one could withstand such an onslaught and would look away or begin to fidget and sweat. Fate though stared back with open honesty as she was not one normally to be intimidated or bullied by anyone publicly. Signum read her as a person of great personal strength and integrity and nodded her agreement. The blonde smiled warmly and turned to the others who seemed surprised at the turn of events.

The six women and Zafira then decided to go out to eat and discuss how things would be handled. When Fate heard of Alicia's demand for Arf's resignation her brow furrowed and growled 'stupid girl' under her breath. Shamal worried asked if Alicia could force Arf from her position.

Fate sat back and with a disgusted look replied, "She'd have to kill me first, I own 48% of Testarossa Corp, she can't force her out even with father's support, they only own 42% between them and I know Arf isn't about to vote herself out of office. If Alicia thinks she can strong arm me into kicking out the most competent President Testarossa Corp has ever had she has another thing coming."

"You're the majority stock holder in the company?!" Hayate squeaked in disbelief. "I thought your father would be. We have been freaking out that this whole thing had ruined Arf's life."

The blonde blinked, "Ha! Between Arf and me we have turned the company from a 2nd tier production company to number one in the industry. I have pumped every dollar I've earned into growing the company under Arf's direction. Arf learned everything she knows from our grandfather and has degrees in contract and business law along with business management so we have more leverage in negotiation. There is no way father could have ever handled the running of the business, he is too weak willed and is so easily swayed by pretty-faced hot-bodied females to be taken seriously."

"Fate, don't say such things about your father, even if they are true." Arf sighed.

After dinner Fate left the family to begin her battle of wills against her sister and father. When she arrived at the family home she girded herself and walked into the house. The sound of rustling and heavy breathing could be heard as she walked down the hall. Fate looked into the living room and found Alicia pushing boxes across the carpet, their father sitting on the couch watching with a glass of liquor resting in his hand. For a moment she couldn't understand what she was seeing then realization hit her like a sledgehammer. Alicia was packing Arf's personal effects in the insane belief that would force the older woman to concede to her irrational demands.

"It would better for you to pack your own stuff," righteous anger dripping with every word.

Alicia looked up and flinched at the anger and tense muscles of her twin, it was clear Fate wasn't going to go along with her willingly. With a coolness she didn't feel she said, "So I suppose you think I'm wrong and are here to convince me to let her get away with disgracing our family. Considering you're just as unnatural as those women she brought home."

"Well I have tried to convince you for years that there is nothing wrong with that kind of relationship and haven't made a dent so I won't waste my time or breath. I will tell you that if you don't get your head out of your ass about this I will leave Testarossa Corp and become a free agent. I wonder what that will do to your career and the company. I can't help but also wonder what the press would think if you let this become a very public family feud."

The crouching woman winched at her sister's words, "You wouldn't. You have too much invested in the family company to throw that away."

"Do you really think I care about my wealth or the company, if I have to choose between my conscience and money, I choose standing by Arf and her new family. I swear you are letting your own bigoted ideals ruin your relationship with our one relation who has always taken care of us. When did you become so blind to what's important, Arf deserves to be happy. Hell, it's not like she is marrying another woman. Zafira's sister is a good woman and so is her wife, there is no shame in having them as family. They work hard and have strong family bonds. Goddamn it Alicia, they earned Arf's trust and loyalty and you know how hard that is."

The other girl turned away from the obvious truth in her sister's words and decided to gamble one more throw, "What if this marriage affects our reputation, you know how rigid our fans in the Bible-belt are, it could be guilt by association. Even you recognized how important appearances are and have held off exposing yourself."

"Alicia if you don't shut up about the fans and so-called morality I swear I will expose myself, there are plenty of women out there who would be happy to make-out with me publicly."

The other blonde girl's jaw dropped at this threat and turned to their father for the first time for support. Fate turned to the man also and with venom spat, "Grow a pair Father! Tell the princess she isn't going to get her way this time. I'm sick and tired of listening to her bullshit and you enabling her behavior, it's no wonder our mother left."

At this her father paled and Alicia jumped up to slap Fate. Fate caught her wrist and pulled her forward so they were nose to nose.

"I am giving you twenty-four hours to apologize to Arf, Zafira and his family after that you better be ready for a real media circus," she growled then she released her arm pushing her away and turned on her heel to walk back out the door.

Fate made it to her car, her body violently shaking as soon as the car door closed. She rested her head against the steering wheel. Pleading silently with any god listening, 'Please, please, let this go right. I don't know if I have the strength to truly defy them, who would I be if I did?'

The next morning Alicia was at the hotel suite and was making her apologies to the family and making promises that the wedding would still be held at the family home with all the fanfare they could muster. Fate was sitting on the couch the entire time, eyes sharp and jaw clenched at first then relaxing when the apology was accepted. It was suggested the Wolkenritters return to Testarossa House but this was declined. After Alicia made her escape Fate turned to Arf and Zafira and reached into her pocket for a set of keys. She deftly threw the keys to Zafira who caught them with equal dexterity. "What's this?" he asked in his low rumbling voice.

"Think of it as an early wedding present, I don't think either of you are eager to live with the in-laws after this after all." She gave her signature crooked smile and winked at the couple.

Arf looked at the keys and blanched, "You have got to be kidding me, the beach house? Fate you love that house!"

"Don't give me any false protests now. I already had the title transferred to your name so just be a good girl and accept it."

Standing up Fate pulled the older woman into a hug. The red-head shook her head as she gripped her young cousin in a bear hug.

"Fate, are you sure about this? I mean that house belonged to your mother, it's not part of the Testarossa estate that Arf would even have a right to," a gruff voice questioned, and Fate could see Zafira's eyes full of concern.

"Zafira, Arf has been a mother and sister to me all my life, if anyone in the world should own that house besides me it has to be her. I want you two to have a nice little love nest to come home to and give me a parcel of kids to spoil."

The gruff man turned an amazing shade of red at this and his fiancée laughed as she strode over to him and planted a warm kiss on his lips. A gagging noise erupted from Vita at the public display of affection. The young blonde walked over to the child and leaned over to ruffle her hair and tease her over her reaction. Vita struggled to escape her grasp but was quickly scooped up and twirled around then sat back on her feet to stand woozily.

"Don't knock love Hot Stuff, before you know it you'll be making goo-goo eyes at someone too."

Hayate laughed at her younger cousin and looked at Fate with appreciation. She had felt like her world had been flipped topsy-turvy when Alicia had thrown her tantrum and so rudely evicted her own cousin, how could one of your idols fall so hard? But Fate was exactly what she had appeared to be; warm, loving, loyal and generous.

It was then with Fate's bright burgundy eyes on her that she in a fluster blurted out, "What happened to your hair?"

The older girl grinned running her hand through her locks, "Ah, a left over from my last film, I'll need to get the dye remover to wash out the color. I decided to leave it so everyone could clearly differentiate me from Alicia, being identical sometimes can be difficult when your mirror image is causing trouble."

Hayate thought about it and despite having seen both sisters nearly side by side she hadn't really thought about them looking identical. Fate had a more muscular build and her face seemed to more sensual and expressive. How she could have ever thought they were prefect copies of each other when watching films or looking at photos she would never understand.

"I don't think you look exactly alike, I think it would be pretty easy to tell you apart."

The blonde smiled at that and seemed for a moment to glow with satisfaction.

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"

The next few weeks passed in a dizzy of errands and appointments with various service providers. The younger blonde twin having returned to her normal appearance was often their chauffer and would make sure they took side jaunts to explore the many sites of interest locally. Hayate and Vita soon found themselves completely under her spell and would beg and plead to stay with her as much as possible. When the big day finally arrived it went off without a hitch and the new couple left for a two week honeymoon. Fate seemed both relieved and regretful it was all over, now it was time for her to get back to work and her new relations to return to Japan.

As she pulled up to the hotel to pick up the departing family Fate fidgeted, she wanted to ask them to come back and visit again but wasn't sure how that would go over. As she walked up the hallway lost in thought she didn't notice Signum walking towards her.

"Testarossa, what's the matter with you?"

Fate's head popped up and she stopped herself before colliding with the older woman.

"Ah, I was just thinking about something…silly thing really," she murmured as she rubbed the back of her neck.

The pink haired woman looked at her questioningly and prodded her to go on with a nod of her head. Burgundy eyes flitted to the carpet and she hesitated for the first time since they had met.

"Testarossa if there is anything I can do to help you please let me know."

The words were spoken in a voice more gentle then Fate had ever heard from the older woman.

Swallowing her trepidation she spoke, "I was wondering if all of you would come back again to visit. I would really like more time to get to know all of you and I know Arf and Zafira would like it too."

Blue eyes widen at the offer, she had thought the younger woman would have had enough of dealing with them by this time. Hadn't they caused her enough trouble? She knew the blonde had put her neck on the line in some way in order to get her sister to back down. It was one thing to be polite and welcoming during a wedding it was quite another to invite them to visit again when there was no planned event.

"Testarossa, do you really want that? You don't have to force yourself to take in people you barely know."

At this the blonde's burgundy eyes filled with tears, "I don't have much family, and I was really hoping that…sigh. Never mind, I'm sure you wouldn't have time anyway."

She turned her face away and tried with difficulty to control emotions too raw after her last argument with her father and sister. To regain their good graces she had had to make new and rather humiliating concessions to her sister. Filming a disgusting cheesy romantic comedy with her, it would be very much a la the Olsen Twins whom she had always hated being compared too. The script had Direct to Video crap written all over it but Alicia loved it and was looking forward to the end scene where the sisters married in an over the top double wedding, ugh!

Signum was shocked by the emotional display; the girl had seemed so strong and resilient. What could have left her so vulnerable?

"Testarossa I think we have caused you a great deal of trouble already. It was my understanding you are very close to your sister and father, if us coming here has disrupted that then I am sorry."

"It's not like that, I am close to them. But you need to understand I am…a…lesbian. Alicia knows this and it has always put a wall between us with her attitude towards homosexuality. I don't actively seek out relationships with women because I know it would hurt our relationship. It's the only thing I can give her, I can't change the way I feel about women. And I refuse to live a lie by dating men or even god forbid marrying one to cover up my preferences. My father likes to say it's a phase and I'll grow out of it when I meet the right guy but we both know that's a lie."

Shamal walked out of the doorway at that moment and went over to the girl pulling her into a hug.

"I know it can be hard having your family disapprove of your preferences. I was disowned by my family when I let them know about my relationship with Signum. Sig lost her parents when Vita was still a baby and never had to face that. If having us in your life will make you happy then we will be proud to call you family and visit whenever you want us."

Sighing with relief and thankfulness she replied, "Thank you, I would love it if you all could come again, maybe when the girls are out of school for a long visit."

Then pulling away Fate wiped her eyes and smiled at them both.

"Right, that sounds like a plan. Now let's get the bags or we'll miss our flight," the shorter busty blonde agreed before turning, patting her wife on the stomach in passing before re-entering their room.


	2. Chapter 2: Angels & Demons

**Disclaimer:** I do not claim ownership of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha Series or its Characters.

A/N: Re-edited 10/22, please check out the sequel to this story if you haven't yet. Reviews are always appreciated.

~"~"~"~

**Chapter two: Angels and Demons, which are you?**

**Wolkenritter-Testarossa Beach House, July 4****st****, 20xx Two years later**

A sixteen year Hayate was walking down the beach wearing a tiny blue bikini that her family normally wouldn't even allow her to look at let alone wear. But as it was a private beach and Fate-onee-chan had purchased it for her so she was allowed out of doors without her fearsome cousin Signum following with a katana. They had arrived early the previous morning and would be staying at the beach house for the holiday weekend then would returned to Fate's home for the remainder of their stay. Fate came out with Vita both wearing swimsuits and racing to the surf. Fate spotted the teenager and decided to reroute her course. With a smirk and holding a finger against her twitching lips for silence she snuck up on the oblivious girl. The blonde easily lifted her, hoisting the squirming body onto her shoulder before proceeding to the water with the now squealing girl. After dunking the girl she released her and swam off to safety behind the little redhead.

The brunette popped out of the water wiping water out of her eyes and glared at the two laughing females. "Mou, Fate-onee-chan that's not funny!"

The blonde laughed harder at the rather ineffectual glare thrown at her, "Ah come on that was fun, besides what's the point of being at the beach if you're not going to get into the water."

"Meanie!" huffed the offended blue eyed girl and she waded to the shore. The wheels in her head turning on how to get her revenge.

Fate looked down at Vita and the two began to laugh again before swimming out and splashing each other. Fate looked back over to the deck where the rest of her family was sitting and couldn't help but smiling. This was the Wolkenritters' second visit since the wedding and they now knew all of the Testarossa family friends so this was going to be quite the gathering for the Fourth of July celebration. While their relationship with Alicia was still frosty at best the rest of Fate's loved ones seemed to accept them with open arms.

Lindy had arrived with her sons and the ubiquitous Amy Limietta. Amy and Shamal went off to a side table to swap gossip and begin their now ritualized drinking of various frozen mixed-drinks. Chrono could be seen seated next to his mother with a worried look on his face while remembering some of the rather outrageous things the two women had gotten into in past gatherings. CJ was seated next to his new bride Alicia, after a short courtship the two had tied the knot is a very small and private ceremony. Lindy was speaking to a grey haired man who was rather possessively holding the hand of the blonde next to him. Said blonde was holding a squirming toddler who seemed to want to reach Alicia who was pointedly ignoring the child.

"So Robert are you and Carim planning on any more children? Caro is at the age now where she could appreciate a younger brother or sister." The teal haired woman asked as her eyes darted from Alicia to the fussy toddler.

"That doesn't seem to be in the cards at this time. We would need to find another donor as Fate has refused to do so again for some reason." The man stated brusquely.

"Ah, well she getting to the age now where she will be starting to look to settle down herself. Look at Alicia and CJ, it won't be long before we see her catching some young lout of her own. Besides this is California, I'm sure you can find another blonde donor, surely the fertility clinic has offered alternatives," She said in an attempt to pacify the man with wit.

The man sneered, "_If_ we are to attempt again I only want the best stock. People can write anything they want about themselves in those biographies, who knows what kind of families they actually come from? Fate is the best, that's why we went with her in the first place."

Then he leaned in and glanced at Alicia before whispering, "I won't accept knock offs either, _only_ the very best stock else who knows what you'll end up with."

Lindy's eyes bulged at this as she tried desperately to hold her tongue and her immediate instinct to slap the man.

The aforementioned blonde turned to look at her mother-in-law, quite unaware of having been recently disparaged.

She gave her faux Fate cocky smile, "Now Lindy-mama you know your son isn't a lout, he is a perfect prince. My half-wit of sister can only hope to find a man half as wonderful."

Then she turned her face to rub her nose against her husband's.

Her teal haired prince smiled at her and hugged her to him before turning his own head to search for the blonde who first captured his heart and refused him. She was now on the beach with Vita looking at seashells with a wonderful smile on her face. He had tried for years to get her to recognize his feeling for her but she had put him off saying she could only see him as a brother or best friend. He had finally confronted her a year ago with an ultimatum that if she did not at least give them a chance he would have to stop seeing her. The hurt and fear he had seen in her eyes had struck him to the core, then the real blow came when she revealed she was gay. She had told him in all honesty if she was ever to fall in love with a man it would have been him but she couldn't find it in herself to be able to return his feelings. She begged him to please still be her friend and keep her secret and in that moment he knew he would never betray her or force her to try to live a lie just for his happiness.

Guiltily he shifted his head and kissed the neck of his bride then pulled back to smile at her before resettling her in his lap. He knew he really didn't love Alicia but she was the closest he'd ever get to holding Fate. He knew it was wrong and that the relationship could only end in tears and recriminations but Alicia had pursued him and he hadn't had the strength of will to deny her. It was as if the elder twin sister had sensed his weakness, like a shark smelt blood in the water, and had done all she could to seduce him and then force out a half-hearted confession of love after their messy drunken bout of sex. It hadn't been all that good and their sex life was probably the most awkward part of their relationship. She did smell _right_, didn't taste _right_, their bodies didn't quite _mesh_ correctly. Then there was the problem of Alicia not really liking sex, it was a chore she felt she had to _attend to,_ something to be checked off the list of activities that had to be completed like watering the plants or walking their dog.

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

As lunch time came around the two out on the beach came in to join in the others for barbeque and other grilled delights. The blonde wonder had pulled on shorts, a tank top and sandals before walking over to the fire pit where Zafira was frowning at the cooking food. "Ne, Zaffy what's with that look? You're going to spoil the food."

The dark skinned man's frown deepened at the pet name. "Hmm, I am not sure if this is done yet," poking a steak before moving on to prod a sausage.

Burgundy eyes gleamed with mischief eliciting a growl from the man, she grinned at that before nudging the muscular man away from the fire pit and taking over the cooking. She took various instruments out of the built in drawers and started checking on the various pieces of meat and vegetables. She then began to cut into bits and pieces to check the color of the meat and then loaded them onto a platter. "Here this is done; the rest will take another ten minutes or so." Then closed the fire pit's cover again and walked over to picnic tables.

Fate plopped down next to Carim and opened her arms to take the child in her arms. The man next to her scowled but did not say anything so she released the child to her friend. "Hey there baby girl, what's my little angel doing." She cooed to the child while nuzzling their foreheads together.

The child giggled and began to talk in a haphazard way about wanting to play on the beach. The younger blonde told the girl not yet, they needed to eat first then they could go make sand castles. The child seemed to accept this and began to play with her hair. Fate couldn't help but feel her heart lurch at the quiet innocence of the child and kissed her forehead. The child had light pink hair and bright aquamarine eyes of her father but the delicate bone structure of her biological mother. Fate was not happy with the way Robert treated Carim and Caro, they weren't family to him but possessions and that had her grinding her teeth. But nothing she had ever said to Carim had convinced her to leave the man, not even when she offered herself and all she had to give to make her happy.

After lunch was cleared away Fate true to her word took the pink haired girl down to the water's edge and helped her build a sand castle. Then the pair set about chasing each other in the shallows splashing and playing about. After two hours of frolicking about with Caro the child was wiped out and was taken inside for a nap. Fate and Lindy then went back out and sat on beach chairs near the water soaking in the late afternoon sun and talking quietly of how nice a day it had been. Suddenly a shadow fell over them, Lindy's eyes once more bulged but this time in an effort to keep from laughing and giving away the game. Fate cracked open an eye in time to see a rush of water heading her way, she let out a shriek when ice cold water and ice cubes struck her body. The offended blonde jumped up to brush off ice cubes then turned to see the short brunette running as fast as her stubby legs could carry her.

Fate's first urge was to take off after the girl and teach her lesson but Lindy's laughing voice called out. "Let her go, god knows the two of you will likely take this to a nuclear war if left alone."

The blonde shook her head and laughed, "Yah, all I need is to find a jellyfish in my bed or something." Then she took off for the water to warm up her skin.

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

The holiday weekend had come to a close and the visiting family was again to be found in Fate's home. The sprawling 5 acre compound had been purchased from a former NASCAR driver who had built a race track on the property and a huge garage attached to house where she could store and maintain her vehicles. Vita was in hog heaven looking over the various vehicles Fate had acquired since their last visit. There was also a classic car shell and the rebuilt parts soon to be installed. Fate was allowing the girl to help her with the reconditioning of the vehicle and had promised when she got her license she would allow her to drive the vehicle during future visits.

Hayate was sitting in the kitchen working on her holiday homework wishing she could chuck the whole thing to the bottom of a well and have fun outside. Her blonde host padded in after a shower, towel still hung over her shoulders to check on her progress. The young girl's head was cushioned on her textbook as her glazed eyes stared out the window.

"Hmm, that doesn't look like you working, wakey-wakey ya lump," she teased poking the girl's ribs.

The girl groaned and turned her head to look at her tormentor, "I'm bored and this work is stupid. I can't figure it out."

There was a look of warm humor in burgundy eyes and the woman sat down at the table next to the chocolate haired girl. She began to read over the assignment and the text, despite it all being written in Japanese she had no trouble understanding. She then turned to the girl and began to explain what needed to be done. Before the blue eyed girl could believe it she was done with the assignment and actually understood the topic.

"Got any more homework, I can help with just about anything," Fate asked with a satisfied grin as she watched the younger girl begin to put away her things.

"Nope that was the last of it. I kept putting it off since I couldn't figure it out."

She closed her notebook and was able to put it back in her bag when Fate noticed a doodle on the cover. It had four girls and a boy with various animal ears and tails. Under each was scrawled the name of the person depicted. The first picture being a short haired girl with puppy accessories, Arisa-chan, then a long haired girl with cat accessories, Suzuka-chan, next another short haired girl who was also shorter than the other girls with raccoon accessories, Hayate-chan, then the boy with oversized glasses and what looked like a ferret accessories, Yuuno-kun then finally a girl with a side pony-tail and bunny accessories, Nanoha-chan.

Taking the book Fate continued to stare entranced, "What is this?"

"Uh, a joke?" she replied hastily as she tried to pull the notebook out of Fate's hands.

But the burgundy eyed girl had a death grip on it as she stared slack-jawed.

"You are a Tanuki? Oh my god that's perfect. Who drew this?"

The glee in her eyes clearly saying she wasn't going to get away without explaining.

"My best friend Nanoha-chan drew it before I left. She said she wanted to remind me of my friends so I wouldn't forget about them while I was living the high life. Which is a rich coming from her! She's an up and coming idol in Japan, always out and about at industry parties and rubbing shoulders with other actors and singers."

Fate tilted her head slightly as she considered this, seeing the distracted look enter her tormentor's eyes Hayate yanked the notebook free and stuffed it in her bag.

Aggrieved at the goofy look on her friend's face she said, "Any other questions, no? Good, I'm going outside for a walk."

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

Hayate came bounding down the stairs two nights later in excitement, "Oh my god, Fate-onee-chan why didn't you tell me?"

Fate looked up from her laptop and blinked at her, "Tell you what?"

"That Testarossa Corp is expanding to Japan and will start producing films in two months time. Are you going to act in any of the films there? Will you be spending any time in Japan because of this?" The girl was practically hyperventilating with the rush of questions and excitement.

"Whoa, one it was only finalized last night that we will be expanding into this new market as it was up in the air whether the company we will be merging with was going to sign until the last minute. Two, I don't even know about the projects in line so I can't say if I will be doing any work overseas. As for spending any time in Japan that will all depend on what work offers I get there and here in the U.S. So don't get your hopes up too much I may not ever work on films in Japan."

Just then the door bell rang, "What the…I shouldn't be getting visitors at this hour."

She strode over to the door and checked the peep hole, "Arf?"

She swung the door open and the fiery red-head walked in carrying a document box pressed to her baby bump. She was followed in by Zafira who carried three document boxes stacked haphazardly on top of each other.

"Um, Hi Arf Zaffy, what's all this? And couldn't it wait until tomorrow?" The blonde questioned.

"The prospective scripts for TCJ, I need you to go through them and decide which one will be our first production. Remember this is going to set the standard for people and we want to start off with a bang," she said rambling as she began to leaf through scripts.

Arf's pregnancy was causing her already volatile emotions to swing from either end of the spectrum at the speed of light making her a danger to innocent bystanders everywhere. Fate rubbed her temples and groaned, she had hoped to avoid this. She knew that this could either be a set up where she was magically suppose to pull out the script Arf had already decided on and instantly _know_ it was _The One_. Or this could be an honest demand…ahem uh _request_ for help and there would be no squirming out of it.

"Arf you know I trust your judgment, so go with whatever you think is best," she tried to say in her more placating voice as she was pushing documents back into the box in an effort to avoid the inevitable.

"Oh no you don't, you will be making the decision on this one as well as being the executive producer. If possible I also think you or Alicia should think about starring in it also," her eyes were now gleaming in vulpine glee at the thought.

The blonde hung her head in defeat, as it would be so much easier then banging her head against the brick wall that was Arf.

"Okay, I will look through this stack of madness. Give me a couple of days to get through this and make a decision on both counts."

"Right, I thought you'd see reason. I'll be back in three days for your assessment. Have a good evening Sweet Pea."

Then Arf turned on her heel and walked out in triumph. Zafira gave Fate an apologetic look, but made no effort to convince his wife to show mercy, then fled the scene of the massacre.

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

"Uggh! What the hell are these people thinking?! Can you say clichéd and overdone? Hayate-chan get me some aspirin I think my head is going to explode."

Fate had drafted the girl to help her review the mess of scripts after learning she had helped her friend review scripts and after looking at the kind of critical reviews the young actor's work had received decided it couldn't hurt.

"Come on it's not that bad. Some of these are funny in a twisted kind of way. But you are right about aspirin I think I could use some too."

Hayate tumbled off the couch she had been laying on while reading and went to bathroom to fetch the medicine and a glass of water from the kitchen.

It was the last day before Arf's arrival in the evening and they had finally culled out three reasonable scripts and were now discussing the merits of each. Fate was leaning towards the action-fantasy film but couldn't see herself taking on the leading role. It called for someone with a more wholesome appearance, someone who could present themselves as a person with a rather naïve or optimistic outlook on the world. "You know I would love to play the demon in this but it calls for a physically similar angel and a girl next door type for the lead. I think I could convince Alicia to take the angel role but she won't be like somebody else having more screen time than either of us."

Fate got up and began to pace the floor, how could she convince her sister to accept the part. Both sisters spoke Japanese fluently so that wasn't an issue. Their paternal grandmother was Japanese and had insisted they learn growing up. The harridan had even forced Lindy to learn so she could speak to the girls while on shoots, which in turn meant her sons also learned.

Fate let out a gasp, "Oh my, that would be sneaky and very underhanded. Fufufu, Alicia is going to beg me for the part if this goes right."

An hour later Lindy, her sons' and Amy were all reviewing copies of the script and agreeing that the boys would do well in the supporting roles as the male demon for Chrono and male angel for CJ. CJ was more than willing to entrap his wife if it would help Fate.

"Remember Cly take home the script and leave in a semi-hidden location. When she asks about it let her know I am playing the angel and was thinking about Akko Sanders for the demon and you boys are taking the other supernatural roles. She will flip. This casting will drive her nuts, she hates Akko, and me being anywhere near you in a semi-romantic role will make her mouth foam."

"Fate, be careful, you are playing with fire." Lindy scolded with a devious grin.

It always tickled the woman to see Fate manipulate her older sister after seeing the reverse throughout their childhood. Though it pained her to see this only came out when it came to angling her sister into jobs that benefited the company and not on a personal level. 'Why can't the girl stand up for herself?'

Arf arrived that evening and accepted the selection and the plot to ensnare Alicia with a wicked laugh. She rubbed her stomach and smiled down to her unborn child, "Beware Peanut Auntie Fate can be devious when she wants to be. You always have to be on your toes when you're around her or she'll trick you right out of your socks."

Fate snorted, "Thanks a lot Arf turning your kid against me even before it's born. And it's Charm you right out of your socks."

Arf gave her cousin a sassy smile, "Oh I know, but if you ever decided to charm someone they'd be losing more than their socks."

Fate shook her head and pushed the redhead towards her husband, "Take her home Zaffy, all those pregnancy hormones have finally pushed her over the edge. Its official, she's completely nuts."

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

The next morning when Alicia barged into Fate's home with a beleaguered CJ in tow it was all the assembled group at the breakfast table could do to not laugh. Lindy, Chrono, Amy and Arf had been invited to a breakfast meeting to begin the planning for upcoming production. The other house guests knowing there would be an impending ruckus decided to borrow a vehicle and take a day trip into the city.

"Fate what is the meaning of this?!" A belligerent blonde screamed as she slammed down the script in front of her sister and glared.

Fate smiled at her sister and with perfect innocence replied, "Good morning Alicia, would you like some breakfast?"

Then she looked down at the offending object that had been slammed in front of her, "Oh, so you know about the new production. It's really good right? I think Akko will do really well. She said she'd come by the office this afternoon to sign on."

"Like hell! You will be playing the demon and I AM PLAYING THE ANGEL! This is not up for negotiation Fate, so call that muscle-bound hack and tell her, her services will _not_ be necessary. This will be a _family_ production," her tone leaving no room for argument.

Fate sighed dramatically and closed her eyes as if struggling with the decision.

"If that's what you want. I just didn't think you would want to make a fantasy film in Japan considering how much you hate flying."

"I want to support our family Fate, if I have to make some sacrifices then so be it. Besides we both know you couldn't really pull off angelic, that's my area of expertise."

Then sniffing Alicia put out her hand, "I'll need my own copy of the script so I can begin working on my character," her hand posed just under her sister's nose waiting for a pristine copy of the script.

Fate bit back a sarcastic remark regarding Lucifer being an angel too she got up from her seat and went to her office to pick up a clean copy. Taking a deep breath before re-entering the room and telling herself she was getting exactly what she wanted she fixed a calm good-natured smile on her face then came back to the kitchen.

"Preproduction begins in six weeks, be ready to begin learning your set out choreography, you **will** learn to use a sword for this role. We can't cover this up with a stunt person this time and I will be dying my hair so I can't fill in," Fate stated firmly to her sister, now in her producer mode.

"Fine," Alicia replied haughtily, "Then I expect you to find someone suitable to instruct me, not some meat-head who thinks grunting means anything. I've seen the kind of people you work with on your sets and I expect to work with someone with more than a sixth grade education."

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

**August xx****th****, 20xx **

Three weeks later the visitors and their host were on a plane for Japan. Fate was expected to check out the new company to make sure everything was in order before the rest of her family/cast followed on. After renting a car and dropping off her bags at the Wolkenritter home she set out for Testarossa Corp Japan's building. As soon as she walked in she saw something to make her stomach drop. The place looked like a ghost town, empty desks and deserted hallways. She made her way up to the executive level of the building and found a meeting in progress. It was only when she saw a bulky salt-and-pepper haired man seated at the head that everything clicked. Regius Gaiz, her father's drinking buddy and a grade-A asshole in Fate's eyes. The man seemed to think he was god's gift to women in particular and the world in general.

Stepping into the room, "Sorry to interrupt folks, but I think this meeting will need to be postponed, I am Fate Testarossa and I need to speak with Gaiz-san privately.

The others in the room began to gather up their things and shuffle out of the room, many with relieved looks. After the last person left she shut the door and walked over to the man, who had a humored looked in his eyes. 'You won't be so happy in a minute you scum,' she thought to herself.

"What are you doing here Gaiz? If I remember correctly you work at Five-Star Productions."

"Ah, well your father thought it would be best to have a family friend oversee this new branch as opposed to leaving it the hands of a near stranger who wouldn't have the family's best interest at heart," he replied with the smug look of a man who thought he had the upper hand on his face.

"Well, I am sorry you came all the way out here for nothing Gaiz, you see father is not able to make those kinds of decisions on his own. Only Arf does and only with my backing at that. So I don't know what father told you but you do not work for Testarossa Corp in any way or fashion. Please do us both a favor and get your things out of the building as quickly as possible, I have a lot of work to do."

The man in the chair scowled at her words and stood up to intimidate her into complying. He was a good four inches taller than her and had more than hundred and fifty pounds on her.

She looked at him without a smidge of fear, "Get out now before I have you hauled out by the police for trespassing."

He reached out to grab her and she caught his wrist before he could close his ham hand around her arm. She twisted it and with a strength belied by her build spun him around to press his face against the table top.

"Try me Gaiz, any day of the week and I will make sure you regret ever raising a hand to me. You are an ape in a suit and I would sooner break your arm than let you work in my company."

She pushed off him and stepped back to give him room to exit the room without them touching further.

"I'll be speaking to your father I'll have you know," Gaiz said while straightening his suit.

"Have fun with that Gaiz, daddy won't be able to change my mind and I'm the only one who could change things. If you were smarter you should have been brown nosing me, I own 48% of Testarossa Corp. But then again I could see you were nothing but a bottom feeder from the moment we met so that wouldn't have done you any good."

The man blanched at her words, 'I guess daddy hasn't told you anything' she thought morosely. 'How stupid is my father that he would braggingly lie about ownership of the company.' She watched the man scurry out of the room and collapsed into a chair once he was gone. 'Guess this means I have to clean up the mess now, ugh where is Arf when I need her? Oh, yeah dealing with my father and his insane ideas everyday back home.'

Speaking out loud to herself, "Okay Fate let's see how bad this really is," then pushed herself up to begin her inspection of the building and its staff.

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

Ten days, a ton of paperwork and a dozen kiddy-pools worth of coffee later, the door opened to the Wolkenritter home at midnight, it was the first time she had been back in three days. Cleaning up the mess at TCJ had taken more effort than she had originally thought once the contracts Gaiz had signed in the three weeks as "President" came in. She had been able to cancel most of them but five were sticking and that meant more work in fixing the obviously pork contracts with local buddies of Gaiz. She had to rewrite the scripts and find Assistant Directors to shadow the crappy ones signed on to make sure the films in question didn't ruin TCJ's nascent reputation. She still had a pile of work to do back at the office but she also wanted to sleep in a real bed and take a soaking bath. So pushing herself to drive the twenty miles back to her family's home she finally made it back to the dark house.

After a hot bath where she nearly drowned herself twice she pulled on her nightwear and fell into bed. Twelve hours later a squealing brunette was jumping on her back then just as quick bounced off. "Wake up Fate-onee-chan lunch is ready!"

The blonde groaned and pulled her pillow over her head. "GO AWAY, I need more sleep."

"Fate-chan it's already noon and your phone has been ring continually. Sig has been beating them back with her growly voice but that's not going to work for much longer."

Fate popped up in bed, "What?! I didn't mean to sleep that long, I should have been back at the office at eight am. Ye Gods, why didn't you wake me?"

Hayate huffed at her, "We tried, you just kept rolling over and actually punched Sig when she tried to lift you up. She has a bruise on her stomach and Shamal said she was lucky you didn't crack a rib."

Fate winched at this and ran a hand over her face. "Oh my god, I am so sorry. I have a really bad habit of lashing out when I am exhausted. I guess I really have been working too hard."

"Well apologize to Signum not me, and get dressed before you go out there. Sig nearly had a nose bleed when she first saw what you're wearing. Be thankful Shamal isn't the vengeful type or she might have whacked you for both that and the punch."

The blonde looked down at her nightwear; it was a black and purple teddy with matching silk panties. She had been wearing similar nightwear since she was sixteen years old and became a Victoria Secret model. She had found the clothing comfortable and had never thought about anyone ever seeing her in it other than the photographers and in ads. The idea that Signum had found the clothing provocative left her feeling rather confused.

Twenty minutes later dressed and washed up Fate walked into the kitchen. Signum was sitting at the table with Vita and Shamal was standing at the sink. The pink haired woman's face flushed when she made eye contact with the young blonde, then she looked down at her plate rubbing her stomach.

Fate was tongue-tie and confused, "Ah Sig, um I am sorry about earlier. I…"

Shamal had turned to look at her, an appraising look in her eyes. For the first time since meeting the older blonde woman Fate felt as if she could be the more intimidating one of the couple. "Fate-san is there a reason you wear such clothing to sleep? And where the hell did you learn to punch like that?"

Scratching her cheek, "Um, well I think it's comfortable is all. Plus I get a lot of free samples from my job as a model. As for punching I have been training in various martial arts since I was six years old so…" she trailed off.

Shamal shook her head at this, picked up a plate from the counter and sat it down on the table. "Eat, you need your strength if you're going back to the office."

"Ah, right," she replied timidly.

She sat and ate quickly then put her dish into the sink.

She turned to her hosts and said formally, "I'll be going; I'll try not to disturb anyone when I get back."

Shamal sighed and shook her head with a bemused smile, "Fate-san, please don't worry about earlier, Signum is just embarrassed because she has never been beaten up by a Femme before."

Then older blonde laughed seeing her partner squirm in her seat. "As for me, I trust both of you enough to not have to worry about anything improper ever happening between you so stop with the guilty child routine."

Fate looked up at her and saw the truth of this in her warm brown eyes and smiled, "Thanks, I love you both too much to ever want to hurt either of you. I was beginning to wonder if it would be best for me to get a hotel room to prevent any further issues."

"No!" Both of them shouted at once making her blink.

Signum cleared her throat then said in a grave voice, "You are family Testarossa, as long as you are in Japan this is your home."

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

Later that evening after wrapping up the rewrite of one of the scripts she sent copies out to the cast and crew by courier then filed it away, she stretched and thought about how much work she still had. There were still three more scripts to correct and the final approval of the costumes and cast for the upcoming film she was going to be joining in less than two weeks. Luckily the casting director on staff was sharp and was already working through auditions. By the end of the week they should have finalized the Japanese cast and then she could finalize the costumes. She pulled up the footage of the prospective cast, after watching six auditions for the male lead and supporting male character she wrote down her own preferences then decided it was time to go home.

'Home, I wonder what it would be like to really have one? A place where I belong with my very own real family, with a wife and child or children of my own. Stupid, that's never going to happen, too much depends on me being perfect to ever allow that.'

The next day she came in again and pulled up the auditions for the female lead, she knew Hayate's friend was one of the finalists. She had purposefully put off looking at these auditions until the last minute as she had thought the girl was beautiful in the photo stills and the gods only knew how much more attractive she could become with movement and sound. Then again those elements would likely ruin the illusion or fantasy her mind was developing and soon she'd be indifferent to the girl just like always was after her fantasies were destroyed. Sighing she pulled up the film clips and started her review.

"Oh, she's perfect. I'm in so much trouble," Fate could already feel the irresistible pull of sapphire eyes and the girl's heavenly body.


	3. Chapter 3: Pre-Production & Filming

**Disclaimer:** I do not claim ownership of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha Series or its Characters.

A/N: Re-edited 10/22, please check out the sequel to this story if you haven't yet. Reviews are always appreciated.

~"~"~"~

**Chapter 3: Pre-production &amp; Filming**

**September xx****th****, 20xx: Pre-production Day One, TCJ studios**

Fate walked into the open soundstage; there were no set dressings just the wide expanse of a room and mats on the ground. Eight people turned to watch her cross the room, all but one she had already knew, and the auburn haired girl seemed to be assessing her with piercing sapphire eyes. Fate was in her work out clothes as was everyone else, hers a black pair of spandex pants and yellow sports bar covered up with a black tank top and neon yellow sneakers. The Takamachi girl was in a similar outfit but hers was baby-blue pants and bra with a white tank and baby-blue sneakers. Her sister was in all white and the boys in grey sweatpants, blue muscle shirts and black sneakers.

"Sorry to keep everyone waiting, I hope everyone has had a chance to introduce themselves. Takamachi-san I am happy to finally get to meet you," she said as she came up to the group and bowed to the younger girl.

Nanoha nearly gulped at her when their eyes met. She hadn't thought much of Alicia Testarossa or her looks but this twin had her heart pounding. Cold blood-red rubies were all Alicia had, but Fate had warm wine-red eyes that seemed to contain more than a hint of sadness despite her obvious attempts to conceal it. 'Why are you so sad Fate-chan?' was the thought that now resounded in her mind. She felt a sudden surge of determination to discover the root of the girl's pain and dispel it. 'Someone as beautiful as you should always be happy.'

Breaking eye contact Fate turned to the room at large, "Now each of you will be working with a separate trainer to get down your choreography then we will each practice each scene as you get the moves down. I will be going through each set of moves with your trainers to give you all a chance to see how it looks." She pointed to the first man and picked up a staff first.

"Okay Ryo-kun let's do Takamachi-san's routines first," she then took her stance and yelled out "Start."

The moves came fast and brutal; it looked like Fate was being pressed back by the strength of the blows. The man then swept the blunt practice sword he was holding at her legs and she caught it with the staff but unbalanced. She rolled clumsily out of his next strike then struck upwards with the end of her staff in his chest knocking him back. She climbed to her feet and then reached out for the man to give him a hand up.

"This is the first battle you have with your staff, so make it look good when I come at you."

She then preformed the next four battles, each one showing more precision and grace then sent her off to work with her stunt coordinator.

Between sets against her trainer Nanoha glanced over to the group and saw the moves Fate used when playing the male parts were incredibly fierce.

Looking at Ryo, "She's really good at this, I don't know if I am going to be able to keep up."

The man grinned and told her just to work hard and there would be nothing to worry about and set them up to spar once more.

**Pre-production Day Six**

Nanoha hadn't seen Fate since the first day and was excited to be able to see the blonde again, especially since it also was the first time she would be seeing her costumes. The girl entered the costume shop and heard talking in one of the back rooms. Heading toward the voices she pushed open the door to see Fate half undressed, she was only in skin-tight, low-riding, black, leather pants, boots and pasties on her exposed breasts. Nanoha felt the blood rush to her face at the sight of the blonde's partially exposed breasts. It was then the blonde turned to see her and taking in her expression seemed confused by her reaction. "Hello Takamachi-san, I hope you don't mind waiting a few minutes I still need time to check on my vest before stretching. Heaven knows I don't want anything to tear open when I start fighting." She then picked up the vest with string bindings that would hold her in place like a corset.

Nanoha was intrigued by the older girl; she didn't seem to understand (or was it flaunt?) how attractive she was but perfectly comfortable in displaying her skin at the same time. She watched Fate move through a set of isometrics then she nodded to the costume woman to begin the undressing process. Fate was literally sewn into the pants so the woman undid a few stitches to allow her to peel off the garment. Standing in only skimpy, black, lacy panties she grabbed her t-shirt then a pair of black jeans slipping each item on with a grace Nanoha had never seen before.

"Okay dearie, your turn," the older woman said to Nanoha.

She pulled out a white mini-skirt, v-necked jacket blouse, thigh high stockings and a pair of ankle boots. All of the items had blue accents to them and somehow seemed to almost make the risqué outfit look innocent.

She had of course seen the outfit drawn out but seeing it suddenly made her feel like maybe she wouldn't do the outfit justice. Hell comparing herself to the full-figured blonde she knew she would look like a little girl playing dress up. The older woman began to help her undress and she turned to see Fate's eyes on her.

"Um, you're staying in here," she asked as she held down her shirt from being pulled off.

"We're all girls, you saw me so quid pro quo," she said with a rather amused look on her face seeing Nanoha's face color again.

"Right," she murmured and quickly stripped then pulled on the outfit laid out for her.

Fate had already felt herself attracted to the younger girl but had pushed those feelings aside and deep into a corner of her mind. Now watching the girl undressing she felt a surge of arousal unlike anything she had ever felt. Her skin was a perfect unblemished pale pink making her fingers ache to run across it. Doing the only thing she knew to gain control over herself she turned her back and began going over the other costumes to check the stitching and overall quality.

"Done," the costumer yelled out and Fate turned back to look over the fit.

Fate had to swallow hard as she had never seen anything so cute and sexy at the same time. 'How was that possible, it should be one or the other right?' She thought to herself. She then mentally shook herself and reprimanded herself, 'Work Fate, stop ogling the poor girl.' She started walking around to check how the costume laid across her shoulder and how the jacket fit her waist.

"Can you walk around a bit and check to see if you can move comfortably? Also do some squats to make sure that skirt doesn't tear, it's pretty tight."

"Sorry about that," the girl said with resignation, 'She is going to fire me for gaining weight, I know it,' she thought to herself.

Nanoha went through a similar set of movements Fate had done before and was happy to see the costume moved with her rather well and was in no danger of splitting. With a sigh of relief she began striping off the costume and then tried on her another costumes for her 'normal' mode. After that she happily put on her own clothes and gathered her purse to make her exit. She felt her self-esteem was at its lowest ebb it had ever been in her life with the gorgeous blonde staring at her.

Fate looked up at the clock and saw it was lunch time, and without thinking asked, "Nano…um Takamachi-san would you like to have lunch with me?"

If Fate hadn't been such a great actor she knew just now her face would have filled with color at her own presumption.

Nanoha looked at her with shock, did she just hear right?

"Ah, I…I," the auburn haired girl stuttered.

She really wanted to eat with Fate but at the same time she felt like she would be just setting herself up to make a complete fool of herself.

The costumer hummed, "Oh go on dearie, she won't bite. Fate-san doesn't get to many chances to spend time with folks her own age versus all the creepy old men sniffing after her."

The blonde's eyebrows rose at this and she laughed, "Now Mari-san they aren't all creepy, most are just boars or piranhas."

Then she turned to Nanoha with what she could only describe as puppy eyes, "Please, I haven't had a chance to speak with you and I think it will help if we are at least comfortable with each when we're filming."

Nanoha gulped and nodded her head to which Fate smiled and took her arm gently to lead her off, "I'll see you in about two hours Mari-san, Alicia and the boys should be ready by then."

Grabbing a small violet and black leather bag Fate pulled Nanoha out the door.

The sapphire eyed girl felt her heart pounding with excitement, 'I'm going to have lunch with Fate Testarossa, oh my god. Please let Hayate be right about her, I really want to be friends with her.'

Breaking into her internal monologue the prestigious blonde asked, "So Takamachi-san is there anything in particular you would like to eat for lunch."

"I like pretty everything, except vegan, like Hayate-chan says there is a reason we are at the top of the food chain," 'Ugh did I really just say that to her?!' Kicking herself mentally then let out a nervous laugh, "nyahaha."

Fate looked at her with amusement and thinking to herself, 'God can she be any cuter?'

In a kind but still professional voice, trying to conceal her growing attracting, she offered, "Well there is a really good Italian restaurant nearby, how does that sound?"

Thankful the blonde wasn't looking at her like she was an idiot she decided it would be best to keep her mouth closed as much as possible until she could think of something intelligent to say. So in response she just smiled and hummed her assent.

After a short drive in Fate's rental car they arrived at a rather upscale restaurant which left Nanoha feeling rather underdressed. Despite being dressed nearly alike in regards to formality Nanoha was leery of entering the establishment.

"Um, Testarossa-san I don't think I'm really dressed appropriately to go in there."

The blonde gave her a reassuring smile and said, "Don't worry about that, there is no dress code. I've come in here in sweat pants and a t-shirt; they didn't even give me any funny looks."

'Yeah, well you probably looked better in that then half the women in there in formal clothing that's why,' Nanoha thought to herself. Still hesitant she tried to grasp another excuse when Fate's hand took hold of her elbow once more.

In a soothing voice Fate said, "Stop worrying, you look beautiful just the way you are, so there's no reason to be shy," then pulled her into the restaurant.

Nanoha felt her face flood with heat again, 'She just said I'm beautiful, no way!' Letting herself be pulled followed into the building. The restaurant was well-lit and decorated in the style of an Italian kitchen. They were quickly shown to a table and menus given to them, which was when Nanoha had her next fit of uncertainty, there were no prices.

"Um, Testarossa-san there are no prices."

Burgundy eyes shone with even more amusement, "Don't worry about that, I invited you so I'm paying, just get whatever you want."

The auburn haired girl stared at the menu and was at first confused when the larger print was in Italian but underneath in smaller print was the Japanese description.

Confused by the offerings she asked, "Do you know what you're getting?"

She replied with a hum of her own then looked back up at Nanoha, "Yes my favorite, lasagna and garlic bread. It's very good here."

"Then I'll have the same," she said putting down the menu.

She saw a waiter approach and made ready to give her order. The man smiled at Fate and in Italian began to ask her how she was doing and what their order would be.

Fate's smile turned into a grimace, "Ne Raul, please speak Japanese. My guest doesn't speak Italian, it's rude."

Raul gave a small bow of apology and began again in Japanese, looking to Nanoha first to take her order. Nanoha gave her food and drink order then Fate gave hers before the man bowed himself way.

Nanoha looked at the blonde warily and asked, "How many languages do you speak?"

Fate blinked at the question then began to count off silently on her fingers, "Eight at this time," she said in a quiet voice. 'Great now she going to start treating me like a freak, why can't I just lie and say three, humph, as if that's any better.'

"Oh wow, I'm having a hard time just learning English and my Kanji. Hey wait, are you tutoring Hayate-chan? Her grades have being getting better recently and she won't tell me why."

The girl suddenly had a looked irritated at the thought of her friend having a secret weapon against English and Kanji.

"Only a little, I don't really have a lot of free time and with the time difference I don't get to many chances to speak to her on the phone. And can that girl talk! I'm usually on the phone for a couple of hours," she laughed the last part with a happy expression on her face recollecting past conversations.

"What do you two talk about? I can't imagine there would much she could talk about of interest. You're a world famous singer and actor and she is a school girl."

She was trying to keep her own insecurities out of her voice but Fate picked up on the fact she really wasn't talking just about Hayate.

"Oh we talk about school, her friends, her current crush, future plans and where I have been and what I've done since the last time we spoke. She loves to talk about her friends the most and what you all have done. I know she appreciates everyone of you, especially you Nanoha…um Takamachi-san."

"It's okay, please call me Nanoha, I feel like my mother being called so formally."

She received a warm pleased smile and the blonde replied, "Then please call me Fate, there are one too many Testarossa-sans running around. Hayate and most of her family call me Fate so you could say that's my preferred method of address.

"Ah, are you sure? I mean won't it offend your sister if I speak so familiarly with you."

Her eyes seemed to grow dark at that, "Hmm, don't worry about Alicia, she's just a bit of a stick in the mud. I'd like it if we could be friends and I know Hayate-chan wants to get all her friends together to hang out when there's time so..."

When Nanoha looked unconvinced she sighed and decided to show her that she was not all serious business.

She then made a pout and puppy eyes at her, "Please Nanoha-chan, it would make me really happy if you'd call me by my first name."

The auburn haired girl's jaw dropped, 'Oh my god, she is sooo not pouting! Too cute, this has to be illegal.'

Closing her mouth and clearing her throat, "Okay, okay, don't pout. That's an unfair use of your…well everything, Fate-chan."

Fate felt a thrill run through her at the pronouncement of her name, and the smile she gave was one of contentment. From there Fate used every weapon in her arsenal to make Nanoha comfortable with her and before they knew it the meal arrived, was demolished and cleared away. Looking at her watch Fate sighed, "Looks like time is up, and I have to get back to the studio. But if you aren't too busy later you should come by the house, I know Hayate-chan would be glad to see you and we can talk some more."

"I'd like that, I'll head out from here, but I'll swing by this evening for a bit," she said as she stood up and gathered her things.

As they began to go their separate ways on the street Nanoha turned back to her and impulsively hugged Fate then with a wide grin said, "I'll see you later Fate-chan, don't work too hard."

She girl then bounced off before the blonde had a chance to respond, but Nanoha could clearly hear a soft chuckle which warmed her heart.

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

Nanoha didn't know where the time went. It seemed like only a day ago she was making her first tentative steps towards friendship with Fate and now the filming was nearly over. It didn't take long for Nanoha's initial attraction to grow into something more, everything about Fate made her want to get closer, emotionally, mentally and most of all physically. Occasionally she would catch burgundy eyes staring at her with such intensity that it made her heart race. Could Fate be feeling the same way she was?

Every day she had lunch with Fate and sometimes with one or both of the Harlaown brothers, their manager Amy or mother. It was during these meals that she could see the close relationship between Lindy and Fate and how the older woman was really a surrogate mother figure for the young woman. Amy was like a snarky older sister or cousin, and would often tease Chrono making the normally reserved man blush. Nanoha couldn't get over how easily the woman could affect him, there was definitely something going on there. The twin brothers seemed protective of Fate but both enjoyed teasing her about their shared past and the silly misadventures she had often got them caught up in.

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

During their rare free time when they weren't shooting Nanoha spent the day with Fate, Hayate and their friends shopping, watching movies, playing games at the arcade, karaoke or eating out. At least at first, she still didn't know what to think when Hayate-chan scheduled outings for everyone then only Fate and herself showed up. It didn't happen every time but enough where she was sure something was up. Could Hayate have guessed how she was feeling for Fate? Nanoha had only told Hayate that she thought she was bi-sexual when they were thirteen, but that didn't explain why she would try to set her up with a woman known to be heterosexual and a history of being a bit of a heartbreaker with men. Nanoha had seen how Fate would handle men, it was clear when she wanted something she had no qualms over using her charms to get her way. This behavior had left the auburn haired girl confused as she watched her turn on her charm then just as quickly turn cold and remote to the same men.

She asked once why she acted that way and Fate looked at her with a rather sad look in her eyes, "Because most men are only after one thing and are foolish enough to think I'm a dumb blonde. If they treated me with respect and didn't start off with sexual harassment I wouldn't do that to them. Think of it as turnabout is fair play."

Every second spent with the now purplish-black haired girl was fantastic, a dream come true. It hadn't taken her long to muster the courage to glom onto her arm or hug her impulsively at every opportunity. After nearly becoming separated in a crowd Fate had initiate the first hand holding which quickly became a habit, Nanoha intertwining their fingers together. It was during this time that Fate allowed herself to open up and tell of her own loneliness. She briefly told her about her former best friend Carim and how the relationship had fallen apart when she choose to be with a man who treated her like possession. How she was hurt when she was refused access to her friend and goddaughter when she refused them a rather personal favor. She also spoke of her feelings of isolation she felt despite having her family with her at all times. That loneliness was something Nanoha found herself understanding all too well, building a stronger bond between them.

The pair's new habits had Alicia's teeth set on edge; she would watch them with narrowed eyes as if trying to decipher some hidden code. Nanoha had noticed the friction growing between the sisters since Fate dyed her hair and began wearing the purple contacts called for to change her appearance to that of her demon character. She had even seen Alicia try to strike Fate after a rather confusing exchange that seemed to involve their mother and Fate's behavior towards Nanoha. It was after that event Fate seemed to avoid her sister as much as possible.

Their growing closeness also seemed to be making CJ jealous, he would find ways to get between them physically and make inside jokes to Fate in a conscious effort to make Nanoha feel like an outsider. CJ's behavior and Fate's obvious attempts to settle him with nearly intimate caresses and soft words no one could hear made Nanoha feel so unsettled. What kind of relationship did these two have? Crass jokes about the man having a sexual relationship with both sisters (often at the same time) began to fly but Nanoha discounted them as Fate had never once shown herself to be that kind of person.

Fate herself seemed as if she was being pulled in too many directions. She wanted to get closer to Nanoha but had to be careful not to allow her physical attraction get the better of her. It hadn't taken long for her to become utterly addicted to the younger girl's optimistic outlook and charming personality. Nanoha really was as beautiful inside as she was out and that rarity made it almost impossible for Fate to resist her. She also had to keep her family happy, which meant spending time un-ruffling Cly's feathers over her new relationship with Nanoha and convincing him there was nothing but friendship there. He knew about her sexuality but that didn't make it any easier for him to accept someone else getting close to his first love. Then there was Alicia, she hated everything about the situation, seeing Fate happy with anyone always seemed to make her blood boil. But there was little Fate could do other than quarantining herself from everyone for the remainder of their stay and that was something she refused to do.

It was the last week of filming and tempers were reaching breaking points. So when Alicia finally decided to have it out with CJ after a particularly ugly day of him throwing a tantrum over who Fate was spending all her time all the bad blood came to the surface.

Hard red eyes bore into her husband's cool turquoise eyes, "What the hell is your problem CJ? We both know 'nothing' is a fucking lie, so spit it out!"

He looked at her, taking in the fakeness of his wife; she really was a cheap knock off of her sister.

"You want to know what's wrong, you are! I'm tired of having to settle for second best. I don't love you, you make me sick. The biggest mistake I ever made was sleeping with you. I can't believe there is enough alcohol in the world that could make me forget you aren't Fate. I want out of this stupid farce of a marriage."

Alicia looked like she'd been slapped.

Then something changed in her demeanor, she became more rigid and in a cold voice she snapped back, "You will never be good enough for Fate. No one is. You should be happy that I allowed you to indulge in your pathetic fantasy by marrying you. I am the best you'll ever get and I am ever so kind to a pitiful loser like you, I am going to fulfill your ultimate fantasy. You know the one of having a family with my goddess of a sister."

She tilted her head then grimaced, "Well, I might fulfill it, I can always destroy it. It's not like I have to have the child."

CJ stood there staring at his wife incredulous, she was pregnant and knew all about his obsession with Fate. How long has she known? Was it all a sick game to her?

Worst the blow up had come on set and with so many witnesses that it would be a small wonder if this all didn't end up in some tabloid. Fate had watched the initial blow up from across the room where she had been speaking to Nanoha about the upcoming scene and trying her best not to touch the girl more than necessary. She had received too many complaints from Alicia and Cly that she was touching the girl too often and was making it obvious that she had _feelings_ for the girl.

Fate handed off the script to Nanoha and walked over to the pair. Alicia spun on her heel and glared at her sister, daring her to say anything. The two sisters staring off, the man in the middle looking shocked and the new wild card watching off sides, how this would end was anyone's guess.

Fate knew it was up to her to solve this, emotions were running high. Alicia's next words or actions were likely to make the situation worse if she didn't step in.

In her best diplomatic tone she said, "Cly, you are my best friend, you're like a brother to me. I already made it clear to you a long time ago that I would never be able to return your feelings. When you married my sister I asked you if you loved her and you told me yes. If I had thought you weren't being honest I would have objected to the wedding. Alicia might be a lot of things but in the end she is my sister and I love her. So for everyone's sake please reconsider your words, look at the situation and do the right thing. You two are going to be parents and the child needs two loving parents to help raise it and give it stability."

Then she stepped closer to her sister and whispered something in her ear, the rigidness of her body relaxed and she nodded. Fate stepped back and gave CJ a small smile and motioned her head for him to go to her sister. CJ walked over to Alicia and quietly asked her to take a walk with him so they could talk. When they left the atmosphere lightened considerably.

Nanoha wanted to talk to her friend but Fate had taken that opportunity to steal out of the room and she was nowhere in sight. The sapphire eyed girl began to search for her and soon found her in a restroom vomiting.

"Fate-chan are you alright?!"

"Please go away, I can't…why was I even born? I just seem to go through life destroying people."

A sob broke out and Nanoha saw Fate slam the back of her head into the stall wall. The girl ran forward and caught Fate up in her arms, holding her tightly so she couldn't hurt herself further. She felt her struggle then finally slump in defeat and harsh sobs.

Finally Fate seemed to calm and in a hoarse voice, "Why wasn't I born normal, if I could have returned his feelings none of this would have happened."

Nanoha felt her breathe catch, 'What did that mean? Was Fate like her after all? Was there hope?' "Fate-chan we don't choose who we fall in love with, that's something beyond reason or logic. You can't force yourself to love someone, that's not fair to you or the other person."

Fate pulled away and looked into sapphire eyes that always seemed to be filled with understanding and acceptance, "I…"

The door to the restroom swung open, Lindy walked in looking for both actors.

When she saw through the gap the two sitting on the floor and rushed over, "Fate, are you alright?"

Fate gave her a watery grin and replied with black humor, "Quite alright, I'm looking forward to being smeared in the papers as a home wrecker."

"Fate Testarossa don't make me spank you for spouting nonsense. We both knew this might happen, if this is anyone's fault it's my idiot son's for trying to replace you with your sister. He has known both of you nearly all your lives and should have known better.

Now get off your ass and get cleaned up, shooting needs to start up again."

The teal haired woman had a look of utter determination on her face that would brook no argument.

"Ha, yes Lindy-mama."

Taking a breath and steeling her resolve she pulled herself to her feet and dusted herself off before reaching out a hand to help Nanoha up.

"Come on, there's work to be done."

The next few days everyone was walking on eggshells, it seemed like Alicia was daring anyone to comment on what had happened. She had a tight grip on her husband and was decidedly not speaking to her sister or other members of the cast. By the time the filming was finally completed everyone involved was breathing a sigh of relief they had survived the wrath of 'The White Angel of Death.'

Fate had decided with Lindy that a wrap party should be thrown and everyone should be allowed to invite family and friends to the event. Fate rented the largest reception hall she could find and hired first class caterers. There would be a DJ and various entertainments throughout the evening and hotel rooms for people to crash in, just in case the drinking got out of hand.

Fate had avoided Nanoha as much as possible during the last days of the shoot, she had gotten far too close to admitting her feeling for the younger girl and that road only led to pain. So she did what Alicia wanted, she cut herself off from everyone and barricaded herself behind a stack of forms and legal documents. It was too hard for people to try and disturb her when she looked so busy. But that excuse wouldn't hold up the night of the party.

So Fate arrived late then tried to blend in with the crowd. Too bad she had decided to wash out the dye and was once again a blonde in a sea of brunettes. At first Nanoha had thought the flash of blonde she saw was Alicia but after a closer look she realized it was Fate and rushed over to greet her. Fate had decided to imbibe that night, having seen Nanoha across the room with Yuuno and feeling her stomach clench when the blonde boy wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Since meeting the boy she had wanted to punch him more than once when witnessing his attempts to make unwanted advances on Nanoha.

A warm hand clasped her arm and the thrill of electricity she always felt when their skin touched let her know without looking who held her. Swallowing hard she turned and tried to put on her best disinterested smile.

"Oh Hello Nanoha-chan, I didn't see you when I came in. Are you having fun?"

Since the day of the blow up Fate had put up a wall and try as she might Nanoha hadn't been able to breach it. This would be her last chance; nothing was going to stop her from confessing her feelings and finding out exactly how Fate felt about her.

"Fate-chan I want to talk to you, will you take a walk with me?"

'Say no, say no,' Fate's mind screamed. "Okay," her heart replied hijacking her mouth.

Allowing the younger girl to take her hand and led her away from the crowd. Fate clenched her teeth and closed her eyes briefly as she reveled in the warmth and tenderness of Nanoha's smaller hand. After wandering for a few minutes they ended up outside of the reception hall and found themselves in a secluded antechamber.

"Fate-chan, I need to tell you something, about the way I feel…for you. I hope…well…ah…"

Soft fingers pressed against her lips, "Nanoha, I think it's best that we don't talk about feelings. I would like for us to be friends, always. I'm leaving in the morning and it would be best to let sleeping dogs lay."

Shaking her head, "No, that's where you are wrong Fate-chan. I have to tell you or I'll always regret it…I love you."

Then Nanoha pushed up onto her toes and pressed a soft kiss on the supple pink lips she had been dreaming of for weeks.

Fate felt her heart stop then start up at a dizzying pace. The feeling of Nanoha's lips on hers was like nothing she had ever felt. It was gentle and sweet like the girl. Yet at the same time it was making her body heat up in ways it had never done before. She wanted more, no needed more, this was proof, all she would ever need that Nanoha was The One.

Kissing was nothing new to Fate but every kiss that had come before was nothing compared to this, they had meant little more than a handshake. Before she knew what her body was doing she had wrapped her arms around the smaller framed girl pulling her close, deepening the kiss. When they finally parted for air Fate's senses were in a daze.

Foreheads pressed together, panting from the lack of oxygen and passion, eyes met and Nanoha saw for the first time the raw desire living in Fate's eyes. Nanoha gasped at this and leaned in to capture Fate's lips in another kiss. The second kiss nearly drove Fate over the edge, only the increasing sound of music and her own paranoia over getting caught giving her enough awareness to pull away before someone else entered the room. Alisa and Suzuka, Nanoha and Hayate's friends were wrapped up in each other. It was only that fact that prevented them from noticing Fate and Nanoha's own state of arousal thinking the flushed faces was due to their own display of affection. Fate pulled Nanoha out of the room and then released her so she could flee to some cool dark place to get her own rioting emotions under control.

Nanoha followed catching her as she made it out to the street. "Fate-chan, wait."

"Nanoha, I care about you deeply but I will only hurt you. I have to go home in the morning. I live in the United States and your life is here in Japan. I want you to be happy and I know I can't give that to you. I am sorry."

Fate was thankful for the darkness as it hid the explosive pain these words were causing her. She knew if anyone could see her face now it would be written all over her face how much she wanted to be with the younger girl. With every ounce of self-control she possessed Fate pulled away from the warm hands holding her and walked into the darkness.

Sapphire eyes watched as the figure disappear, tears falling and her heart breaking, "Fate-chan?"


	4. Chapter 4: Broken Angel

**Disclaimer:** I do not claim ownership of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha Series or its Characters.

A/N: Re-edited 10/22, please check out the sequel to this story if you haven't yet. Reviews are always appreciated.

~"~"~"~

**Chapter Four: Broken Angel**

**Three years later**

**October xx****th****, 20xx Fate Testarossa's Bel Air home**

Fate put the final touches to a drawing, kissing the back over her signature she then slid the thick paper into a reinforced envelop. There was a handwritten letter and sheet music also enclosed in the packet addressed to one Takamachi Nanoha. Fate had kept in touch with the younger girl, it hadn't taken three days at home before she had been compelled to write the girl and beg for her continued friendship. A week later she had received a reply and they hadn't stopped writing, emailing and occasionally speaking on the phone since.

Nanoha had at first refused to accept the scripts or sheet music Fate had sent her but after hearing the pleading tones in Fate's voice she had finally agreed to use them. In the three years since they had separated Nanoha had become the top idol in Japan and there was talk with her manager about her moving to the U.S. to try her luck there. Nanoha was tempted to make the move but her family had convinced her to stay in Japan where she had support for herself and her recently adopted daughter Vivio.

Fate in the meantime had started to withdraw from the public eye, though she continued her acting and singing but on a much smaller scale. She had decided her greater happiness was in producing and writing. She wanted a quieter life and had taken to caring for her niece when Alicia and CJ were away on filming shoots. The little girl had attached herself to Fate and was closer to her then her own mother. Einhart took after CJ with mint green hair but her eyes were uniquely her own, one blue and the other purple. They were often seen in public together at local parks, shopping and with other celebrities' children's parties.

Alicia was torn over Fate's new reclusiveness, she didn't want Fate's prestige to fall but Fate was being awarded for her new work, so as long as her standing didn't fall in her chosen field she decided not to harp on her sister. Then there was the child care she provided, Alicia had found motherhood was not for her and was glad Fate had stepped in. She was happy to leave the "fussy" child with her sister at every opportunity. Her already rocky relationship with CJ had begun to crumble in light of this, he wanted more children and for her to a _real_ mother to their child.

CJ had once more begun to turn to Fate for emotional succor and after he attempted to kiss her she had refused to be alone with him. Fate was once more being placed between a rock and a hard place when it came to her sister and brother-in-law, Alicia blaming their crumbling relationship on her. Alicia's accusations that Fate was leading CJ on with the continued use of her childhood nickname 'Cly' and always placating him hitting her closer to home than she wanted to admit. Then the accusation that maybe Fate wasn't really gay but just greedy, she wanted the whole world to love her and didn't want to be tied down to any man. It was getting harder for Fate to live this way, she wanted to return to Japan where the people who didn't drive her nuts resided.

Fate put the outgoing mail in her bag and then headed out to pick up her outfit for the Halloween gala event she would be attending that night. She hadn't really wanted to go but as Testarossa Corp was sponsoring the event so she didn't have much choice. She dropped off her mail, picked up the elegant black evening gown and matching fine jewelry she had pulled out of her family's safety deposit box at the bank. Returning home she showered, dressed and styled her hair before picking up the masquerade mask and her purse to await her ride. She had planned to drive herself to the event but that was shot down by Alicia, they would be arriving as a family. A family minus the _renegade_ Arf and her pariah family, time hadn't healed the breach and had only helped to erode what little love that remained between Arf and Alicia.

At seven pm a limo picked her up already holding her father, CJ and Alicia and they proceeded to the gala. The night was just another where Fate found herself wishing to be anywhere else. Young men flirted with her, older men tried to get her to endorse their newest projects, and women glared at her. Time seemed to crawl and it was only Alicia's iron grip on her that prevented her from calling a cab to leave.

Finally at midnight the family made their exit and the limo started its thirty minute drive back to her Bel Air suburb home. Fate was talking quietly with CJ as her sister dozed in the seat across from them next to their father. "I'd really like to take Einhart to Disneyland soon, I think she is old enough now to enjoy it."

"Well I think Alicia and I should be ones to take her there first. But maybe we can try to go as a family though; I can talk to mom and Chrono to see if they want to come too?"

"Yeah, that sounds great. I think Chrono and Amy's twins would like it too." Fate sat back and thought about her devil twin niece and nephew Amy had given birth to a few months after Alicia had Einhart. The shotgun wedding Chrono and Amy had been wrangled into when her pregnancy had been discovered still made Fate laugh. Then she thought of Arf and Zafira, their son Russell or "Ruff" as Einhart called him since she was still having occasional problems pronouncing her S sounds. The pair got on well but the boy was not welcome in Testarossa House or in Alicia's presence.

How the initial coolness that had come from Arf and Zafira's marriage had developed into a full scale loathing on Alicia's part had everyone shaking their heads. But it was when Fate returned home from Japan and had been moping about and Arf had given her blessing to contacting Nanoha that sent them down the path of mutual detestation. Unfortunately when Arf gave her approval she did it in front of Alicia who was being her normal bitchy self when it came to Fate's emotional state. Alicia blamed Arf for Fate unnatural behavior since she had always let her get away with anything and everything she wanted. Then they proceeded to have a scream fest where they brought up every perceived slight and backstab which had ended with blows being exchanged. Pregnancy hormones could have been blamed for both women but neither wanted to admit to being in the wrong. Arf was tired of Alicia playing the victim and having to stroke her ego and Alicia would never get over her jealousy of Arf's inherent competency and leadership.

CJ looked at Fate and could see the exhaustion on her face. Her family really was going to be the death of her and in his more conscious moments he knew he was contributing to her stress as much as the others. Trying for a little empathy, "Fate are you sleeping alright? You look a bit tired."

Eyes closed, "Hmm, I'm alright, I just need to finish a project I'm working on then I'm planning on a vacation. I was planning to go to Japan soon…"

Alicia's eyes shot open with anger, "No! You are not allowed to go see that girl! God damn it Fate there were already rumors going around about the two of you last time, do you want to ruin your career?!"

Fate was about to respond when a hard jolt shook the vehicle causing her head to knock into the side panel dazing her. Suddenly the vehicle was spinning out of control then there was another impact which left Fate in darkness.

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**January xx****th****, 20xx**

Beep, beep, beep, 'Ugh what's that noise?' Fate tried to open her eyes and felt a stabbing pain at the bright light. Her eyelids were heavy and her body ached all over. She made a small moaning sound and suddenly there was movement at the corner of her eye. Lindy was now standing over her, the disoriented girl could see the woman had been crying, her disheveled appearance a shock.

"Fate, Sweet Pea can you hear me?"

A soft hand brushed her bangs out of her eyes and felt cool to her burning skin. She felt too tired to speak so hummed.

"Oh baby girl, I am so glad you're awake. I thought we were going to lose you too."

'Lose me? What happened?' disjointed thoughts and pain making it hard to stay awake and she fell back into darkness.

She awoke for the second time and was surprised by the face her eyes opened too, her mother. Precia Testarossa had arrived the night after the accident and had been taking turns with Lindy sitting with Fate, waiting and hoping the girl would awaken. She had been there for three months, her only hope was her daughter's CAT scans showing activity so they knew she wasn't brain dead. Her mother called out to Lindy and the two women explained as gently as they could of the death of her other family members. And once again Fate felt a blackness take her back into the void at their words.

The next few days Fate was slipping in out of consciousness, each time staying awake a little longer and learning of the nightmare that had befallen her family and to herself. Her father and Alicia had died at the scene, she and CJ had been transported to a local hospital where CJ died. As for herself she had undergone emergency surgery and had died three times on the table only to be resuscitated something that CJ had failed to do after the second time he flat-lined.

Fate slowly became aware of her own injuries, her right side had been crushed when the vehicle spun into a telephone. The doctors had used screws and metal plates to put her back together, but there was still a question of whether she would ever walk again. Her face and neck had been scarred from the flying glass and debris, jagged scars on her arm and leg from when the bones were broken and tore through her flesh. It was Lindy's hope that cosmetic surgery would remove the worst of the scarring but there was still damage to the rest to her body which no surgery would be able to remove.

In hopes of giving Fate an incentive to live Lindy brought Einhart to the hospital and the girl's small hands gripping her own made Fate's heart clench. She promised the small child she would be okay soon and then they would play again. Each day Fate grasped for strength, to sit up, to move her own body, to be able to care for herself and one day her niece again.

Nanoha had come to the hospital after the accident, Lindy had let her in and the sight of Fate so broken had left the younger girl devastated. She had stayed for two weeks then was called back home by family and work obligations. She had never felt so torn, she wanted to stay until Fate awoke and then help her get through the eventual rehabilitation she would need. During her brief stay Lindy introduced Nanoha to Precia and Arf, they all promised to let her know about Fate's condition. Both mothers and Arf could clearly see the love in Nanoha's eyes for Fate. Lindy remembered when they had first met and was not at all surprised Fate had kept their ongoing relationship a secret from the rest of her family.

Precia called Nanoha and told her about Fate finally awakening and told her that it looked like she would not have any permanent cerebral damage but physically she may never fully recover. Nanoha cried for Fate, she knew how important being physically strong and independent had been to Fate. When the blonde heard about Nanoha having visited her previously and her possible future visit she told the doctors and mothers that she would not want Nanoha to see her in this condition. Lindy made the call to Nanoha and tried to explain the irrational behavior of her near daughter. Nanoha was hurt by this but understood that Fate needed time before she could face her.

After seven months in the hospital and four additional surgeries she was finally able to go home. At first Precia stayed with her at her home, helping her with all her needs, refusing to allow a nurse to care for her remaining daughter. But the large home was fitted to a lifestyle Fate could no longer live, so it was decided she would sell her house and move back to the main family home where Lindy and Einhart lived. The small family supported Fate and after a year she was moving around with a cane. Eventually the blonde found herself sinking into depression with her way of life within her old family home despite the love showered on her.

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"Lindy-mama, I want to move." Burgundy eyes dull looking out the picture window of the living room.

"Where would you want to go? We have always lived here, this is your home," warm concern tinting Lindy's voice.

"Anywhere…somewhere where people don't know me. I want a fresh start," she got up and limping looked at Lindy, "I hate this house."

Lindy knew Fate had been unhappy most of her life, she had been living for others, never making a real decision for herself. Only within the narrow confines of the family business like deciding which film she would act in or songs she would sing did she ever had the right to have an opinion. Even when she moved out she had stayed close to home and everyone in the family had a key to the door. Lindy tried to think of the last time she had seen a real smile on her face, what little pleasure Fate had came when she had accomplished something physically demanding like getting her black belt in jujutsu or accomplishing a particularly complicated stunt move. Fate had been pushing herself physically more and more in the past few years before the accident as if she was running from something.

"Fate would you like to go to Japan, we can find a nice place there so you can be close to your other family," 'and Nanoha is there, maybe she can help you.' She thought but knew better than to say out loud.

Fate had continued to write to Nanoha but she had refused phone calls or any other direct contact. She had even refused to allow the Wolkenritters house room or to visit her when they came to visit Arf and Zafira the past two years. That had been hard on everyone, Arf had tried to talk to the stubborn blonde but Fate had for the first time screamed and cussed at her cousin and if it had been possible she would have bodily thrown her out of the house. They could all see something was broken in her but no one knew what to do.

"No, I want to go somewhere else, maybe Australia or New Zealand. I liked those places when I visited for filming. Somewhere sparsely populated so I don't have to deal with a lot of people."

"Okay, we can do that. I'll look into the logistics of moving there and let you know. I want you to be happy Fate, if there is anything I can do please let me know," the sorrow in her voice didn't even penetrate the gloom surrounding the girl as she limped away.

Three weeks later Testarossa house was closed down and the small family was boarding a plane to New Zealand. Fate now had a large property where she could walk with Einhart, the little girl chasing butterflies and rabbits. She had a stable of horses and a pony so she could teach the girl to ride and together they would roam the land. Outside in the open vastness of wild terrain Fate regained as much strength her wounded body could sustain. Carrying a small case with her art supplies and writing utensils they would spend entire days outside in the fresh air and warm sun. Einhart loved this time with her aunt snuggling in her lap after a picnic lunch as Fate scribbled notes for new songs or stories.

Fate embraced a new life style, no longer living to please anyone but herself and Einhart. Tired of dealing with the long hair she had always had she cut it with a pair of shears to just below her chin. She gave up the semblance of femininity and took to rugged work clothes to protect her from the elements. No one who had known her before would have recognized the now hard eyed woman whose only weakness now was the child that clung to her. Fate had abandoned the life she once had and could see no future other than caring for her child. Einhart knew Fate wasn't her _real_ mother but she had taken to calling her mama as she had always been the one to love her most.

Fate was sitting at her computer and was reading emails from various people, most she just deleted without responding. When she came to one from Shamal a flicker of a smiled came to her face, the older blonde had taken to sending her information about her family, Hayate and Vita were still angry with Fate and Signum didn't know how to use the computer. Despite having cut off direct contact with the family she still cared how they were doing. To the point of sending both the younger girls small presents to commemorate events in their lives and financial support for their schooling. This email was different than the previous ones, it was filled with hope.

_Fate,_

_I know I have told you of my research before and that we had discussed what it might mean if it ever succeeded. I want you to know the last lab trials have shown remarkable success and we are ready to move onto human trials. If you are willing I would like to offer this opportunity to you, if everything goes as planned then I believe you will be able to regain full mobility and strength in your hip and knee. There would be three separate surgeries needed for each joint and then specialized rehabilitation that could take between six months to a year in order to rebuild the strength and coordination. _

_Please let me know if this is something you would be interested in soon, we are looking at starting this next step within the next six weeks. Attached are the results of all of our prior trials and my research notes._

_With Love and Hope your cousin,_

_Shamal_

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November xxth, 20xx. Five Weeks Later

Uminari International Airport

A blonde with shoulder length hair and a pronounced limp exited the disembarkation alley with a child clinging to her left hand. Fate carried a tote bag slung across her right shoulder filled with toys and accessories for the child. In her right hand she gripped an ebony walking stick with a chase-silver handle. She had made the effort to readapt to the social conventions she had lived without for the past year, so she wore loose slacks with a matching jacket over a fashionable silk blouse and low heeled dress shoes. She was beautiful even with the faded scars on her face marring what otherwise would have been her goddess like perfection. Men and women stared at the woman who limped by with open admiration and maybe a hint of fear as the blonde gave off a dangerous aura.

Behind her were two older women trailing her, both watching her carefully, both wondering if the people they would shortly be meeting would be able to reach her where they had not. Precia no longer had illusions about reconnecting with the once shy child she had left behind two decades ago. That child had been destroyed by her former husband and his family. Her greatest regret had been not taking Fate and Alicia with her but she had neither the power nor wealth that would have been needed to extract the children from her ex-husband's family. Having Alicia turn against her and deny her even the small contact that Fate had struggled to maintain had hurt more than words could describe. But now she had her daughter within her grasp and her warmth and love could not reach her, she was closed and so remote it felt like she was nothing but an automaton, a living doll.

The small group came up to the car rental desk and Fate when through the steps of securing vehicles and then they proceeded to their rented condos with their luggage. Fate had not disclosed her travel plans to the Wolkenritters, instead making only an appointment for her first check up. As calm and remote has she may have seemed from the outside her heart was palpitating at an insane rate, she was near **Her** again. It was Fate's hope to regain her mobility and then hide away again in the remote woods of her home again, she couldn't risk what was left of her heart or sanity on anything else.

The next three days were taken up settling into her new temporary residence and deciding on how to avoid everyone during this stay. Finally concluding hiding from friends and family would be relatively easy when no one knew where she lived. While she could avoid **Her** physically Fate should have known better than to turn on the television as her heart began to ache when a show featuring Nanoha began. Instantly she knew it would be beyond her limits to face the woman again and not allow her access to her wrecked heart. She had been glued to the screen, drinking in her voice, her smile, that adorable laugh that she had dreamt of for so long.

Her sleep already plagued with death and self loathing now took on the added dread of knowing Nanoha was nearby and she could never have her. She never told Lindy or Precia but in her dreams Alicia haunted her, berated her for allowing 'that woman' near her child. Alicia now was her personal demon, flaying her soul night after night, calling her a coward and a monster. Blaming her for their deaths, blaming her for surviving, denying her even a moment's rest. Fate awoke from her newest nightmare, she was with Nanoha, warm loving sapphire eyes on her, gentle hands stroking her face when Alicia came up and whispered in her ear things she couldn't hear and suddenly Nanoha was turning away in disgust. Sitting up as tears flowed down her face, she was hyperventilating and knew if she didn't calm down she would likely pass out and god only knew what new nightmares would claim her.

Getting up she limped to her work desk in the corner of the room and began to draw, drawing to exorcise the demons. The Fallen Angel graphic novel was something so dark and violent it was restricted to 18+ and stocked behind counters. No one knew Fate Testarossa was the creator, she signed that work, Raven Hart, a rather obvious pseudonym but one that had not led back to her yet. After working until past dawn she put her work away and then stretched before going to make breakfast for Einhart.

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The reunion with the Wolkenritters was anticlimactic, both knew she wanted to keep things professional and that she was hurt in ways they could not understand. Signum treated her with the same distant regard she had always used with her and Shamal made sure to hold back her normally overbearing maternal instincts. After a short discussion on her treatment plan and an examination they scheduled her first surgery for later that week. Shamal invited her to dinner with the rest of the family and was rebuffed.

"I'm sorry Shamal, I just don't think that would be for the best. I'm not the same person I was three years ago, I'll only hurt you in the end."

Painful surgery after surgery came and then the excruciating rehabilitation at Signum's hands came with blinding fury. Fate would sweat and tears would fall without a single word or moan as she rebuilt her body step by step. Not once did Signum or Shamal hear a word of complaint or a scream of pain though both knew she was pushing herself harder than what should be humanly possible.

"Testarossa, stop…damn it I said stop. Are you trying to kill yourself?"

The blonde was drenched in sweat and laying on a leg press machine. Shamal had noted the elevated heart rate during a past session and had her put on a monitor to check her condition. It was now at an alarming 248 bpm, she could give herself a stroke if not careful at this rate. Signum grabbed her legs and pulled them away from the footrests.

"Why are you being so stubborn? You can seriously hurt yourself, damage your leg again or your heart, is that what you want?!"

Fate sat up and pushed the older woman away, "I'm already damaged so what does it matter."

She got up and walked almost normally to the showers, the nightmares were getting worse and pushing herself to the point of exhaustion had allowed her to sleep without dreams. Her hands shook as she turned on the water, hot water sluiced down her and she allowed the tears to flow with it. Quiet sobs and tension racked her body, 'You're weak, you're pathetic. Why did you survive when _they_ died?'

Shamal came in and saw the woman laying on the shower stall floor, physical exhaustion and emotional distress finally claiming the strung-out body. Shamal had her taken to her home instead of the hospital. There she checked her vitals and noted each and every scar now lacing Fate's body. So much pain, but it wasn't the physical pain destroying her young friend it was emotional and there was no cure she could offer. Sitting by her bed watching her go from a purely unconscious state to one of vivid dreams and was perhaps the first to witness first-hand the strangled cries and self-loathing that consumed Fate's sleep.

After waking her she made her eat and then gave her medicine which would allow her dreamless sleep. Lindy and Precia, with a sleeping child wrapped in Lindy's arms, had come to the house after the emergency call and Shamal looked at both with suspicion.

"How long has this been going on?"

"What do you mean?" Lindy replied wearily.

"The depression, the self-hatred, the nightmares, the overworking, or the insomnia, Fate refuses to talk about it but we know. She locks her door at night, refuses professional help and lashes out if we try to talk about it," Precia came out.

"You could have had her committed, she needs help. If this behavior goes on she could end up killing herself," Shamal retorted.

"Yeah right, that would work. She really would cut us off then. It's hard enough to get her to open the door to anyone but Einhart. As bad as it is she won't do anything to really hurt herself as long as the child is around," Lindy spat back.

"If she ever becomes separated from Ein I think she would kill herself. I think with time the child will be able to pull her out of this. But right now Ein doesn't see everything and can't make Fate see she needs more," Precia sighed, looking over the sleeping child.

"They both do, Ein hasn't played with another child in over a year, as happy as she is with Fate she needs other children," Lindy replied to Precia.

"So what now, Fate is nearly back to full strength, if nothings done she will go back to holing up in the wilderness. We have to get her back, she needs a real life," the blonde doctor demanded.

Tears were now streaming down Precia's face, "That's where you're wrong, you never had her. She never had her own life. I know, I lived with her father's family for eight years. She has always lived for others, to make them happy. If you ever thought she was happy then you were fooled by her acting ability."

"Now, it wasn't always that bad. I protected her as much as I could from her grandparents and tried to let her enjoy her childhood," Lindy defended.

"She needs that girl, the one that she writes to. The one who came to visit her and stayed with her for a while. Nanuho? Lindy you know who I'm talking about. I know I've heard her call out for the girl in her sleep."

Shamal laughed at this, "You mean Nanoha-chan. Takamachi Nanoha. Yes, I think you're right, our little White Devil will plough right through her defenses if given a chance. And I know Nanoha still cares deeply for Fate, she asks me about her every chance she gets."

In a quiet voice, "But will Fate give her a chance? She might bolt the second they meet," Lindy sighed.

"Well then I think it's time we arrange things so she has no choice in the matter. I'll call Hayate-chan, she is a master at this kind of thing and will be happy to get a little revenge while she's at it."


	5. Chapter 5: Best Friends

**Disclaimer:** I do not claim ownership of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha Series or its Characters.

A/N: Re-edited 10/22, please check out the sequel to this story if you haven't yet. Reviews are always appreciated.

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**Chapter Five: Best Friends **

**April xx****th****, 20xx**

Though Fate still had at least another month of rehabilitation her family decided they should set up her "run in" with Nanoha as soon as possible. They had to give the girl enough time to overcome the barriers Fate had built up or it would all be for naught. Hayate was still grumpy about being dragged in but her love for the stubborn blonde overcame her hurt at being pushed away after the accident. It had also upset her that Fate had avoided both her and Nanoha for the past five months when they both were desperate to see her again. Hayate had to deal with a worried Nanoha almost on a daily basis since the other girl had no way of knowing Fate's condition other than shaking down her friend and her family.

Hayate met Einhart while Fate was at therapy and started to work on the child, taking her to a nearby park and introducing her to the neighborhood children. She knew Nanoha sometimes brought her own daughter to this park and if she finagled things just right she knew Vivio and Einhart would entrap Fate and then Nanoha would have nothing else to do but leash her "best friend." Hayate didn't begrudge Fate and Nanoha's relationship such as it was, but it did irk her that Fate still wrote Nanoha directly when she had closed off all direct contact with her.

As much as Nanoha wanted to see Fate she had the self-restraint to respect her demand to be left alone. Nanoha never wanted to be a burden or a nuisance, fearing she would be ostracized by her favorite person which in the end would break her heart.

"I love her Hayate, but I am not stupid enough to believe she loves me the same way, she has never given me any hope of that. If I push her I know she'll cut me off, I can't…I won't risk that," was all she replied when the brunette had asked her why she wasn't hunting Fate down with all her normal determination.

Hayate knew Nanoha's daughter was just as bad as Nanoha when it came to _befriending_ people. The little blonde menace had nearly every person she'd ever met wrapped around her cute little pinky. She also knew that despite her remote behavior Fate was a sucker for children, the fact that her niece as her Achilles' heel just proved that. So when talking to Nanoha she asked as innocently as she could when she was planning to take Vivio to the park next so she could put her plan into motion quickly.

"Why do you want to know when we're going out? You are a horrible role model for Vivio, she started using that pouty face you taught her to get me to buy her ice cream the other day. She is turning into a master manipulator just like you," Nanoha complained to her friend.

"Please she learned to pout from you, she sees you bat those sapphires of yours and get your way all the time," she replied in hopes of distracting her friend.

After exchanging a few more loving barbs at one another and finally getting the information she needed Hayate hung up and then moved on to the next step of her plan. Calling Lindy and telling her Nanoha would be at the park the next day and to casually remind her granddaughter to ask her Fate-mama to take her to the park. Lindy had mixed emotions about using her granddaughter in the plan but also knew that this plan was one that had the highest chances to work against her stubborn _daughter_. So when Fate walked in the door she made sure to talk about playing at the park the next day with her grandchild.

As much as the little girl liked playing with her grandmothers she wanted to play with her mama. The S_illy Lady_ had talked to her about how much fun she could have if her mama was with her at the park and she wanted to experience that.

So the little girl ran over to her mama and pleadingly asked, "Mama, can we go to the park tomorrow, please? I want you to push me on the swings."

Heterochromatic eyes danced with hope staring up into the burgundy orbs she trusted most.

"May we go Ein-chan," she corrected looking down at the hopeful little face and couldn't help but see Clyde as a child flash through her mind, always so sweet and warm.

She felt tears come to her eyes, she was exhausted from her session and her emotions were always closer to the surface at times like this.

Blinking back the moisture she smiled, "Yes sweetie. we will go to the park if you like, grandma said you made some friends there and I want to meet them. We'll take a picnic with us and stay all day if you like."

The little girl smiled and hugged her mama tightly around the legs, "Thank you mama, we'll have lots of fun."

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The next morning Fate packed up a lunch for herself and Einhart, a blanket and a few small toys in her tote bag and headed out with her child. Fate didn't like having her mothers with her and Einhart most of the time. She still had grudges against both women buried so deep in her psyche that she really didn't even know why she treated them the way she did. Ultimately it had sprung from having been being abandoned by one and the other enabling her confinement. While both loved her and she them, a lifetime of turmoil and the sudden shock of being suddenly released from all those expectations had left her resentful at her mothers. Unconsciously she was trying to protect Einhart from ever experiencing the same treatment, any talk of the child becoming an actor or model by Lindy or Arf had been squashed harshly by Fate. Anything that could separate her from the child also was pushed aside, nothing would ever be more important, she would not abandon _her_ child.

Walking up the path with their hands intertwined they made their way to the playground and the sounds of children playing. Fate felt out of place, she had never liked crowds, she remembered her grandmother castigating her for shyness, 'You are a Testarossa, you have nothing to be fearful about, hold your head up girl. It is others who should be intimidated by you, you are a scion of a great house, generations of Testarossas have made their name in acting, singing, directing, and writing. You have a legacy to live up too, do not disappoint me.'

So she learned to hide her trepidation and to smile and be exactly what was expected of her. Looking down on the small girl holding her hand she wondered if she would ever hurt her, fail her, or force her to be something she was not. That last was her greatest fear in regards to Einhart; the sweet child would be just as malleable as she had been. 'No, I am not my grandmother, I know better than to set up expectations that no child should have to meet. She isn't going to live my life, she **will** be happy; she **will** be free to be whatever **she** wants to be.'

She placed their things on a picnic table and then allowed herself to be dragged over to the swing set, it felt so good to move freely without a cane that she couldn't help but smile. They stayed at the swings for a good ten minutes the little girl squealing with happiness as she reached new heights. Then she saw another child she had played with before and slowed her swinging so she could jump off. She pointed to the little girl, "Mama that's Lio-chan, may I go play with her?"

Fate saw a child about Einhart's age with purple hair and citron eyes laughing with some other children. Her first instinct had been to interrogate the child but the innocence of the child prevented her from doing so, 'Intimidating children is never a good idea' she thought to herself wryly.

"Okay Sweet Pea, I'll watch you from the picnic table alright."

Fate watched the children playing, the happy laughter was of a quality she had never heard from her daughter. Then the realization of what she had been denying the child struck her like a ton of bricks, 'I have been keeping her from other children, she needs more than me, she needs friends.' Tears came to her eyes as she thought about the painful loneliness she was sure her daughter had been suffering all this time. 'I'm no better than my grandparents or Alicia after all, this is what Lindy was trying to tell me.'

She felt a pounding tension head start as the memories began to push to the surface again. She was eight years old again, Alicia was playing by herself with her dolls despite there being half a dozen children in the room with them. It was their birthday and grandmother had invited the children of wealthy and powerful people to celebrate, children she'd never seen before. They were far from home, visiting a distant cousin in Italy. She made her way to her sister and sat quietly next to her, the others knew each other and speaking Italian organizing a game of tag. So she pulled on her sister's sleeve.

In a pleading voice she asked, "Alicia, can we play with them too? I want to play, please."

Her sister looked at her coldly, she was already angry that Fate had been asked to perform for the adults. While **she** had been the center of attention all morning, Alicia had been _allowed_ to play with the strange children. Children who had been rude and said nasty things to her about being second-best and how untalented she had to be. It had only been later that Fate learned this, if she had known she never would have wanted to join them. So when Alicia had lashed out it had hurt and shocked her.

The brutally cold voice saying, "Why bother inviting me, just go play with them. I know you don't want to play with me, I'm too boring right!"

After the outburst Alicia had run away to their room, and then the other children had deemed it worthwhile to speak to the 'talented' twin. The ringleader of the group made the mistake of talking badly about Alicia and Fate had broken his nose. When she went to find her sister she had been crying, Fate tried to comfort her but she kept pushing her away. It was only after Fate made all sorts of declarations that she didn't need anyone but her sister to play with and she was the fun-nest person in the whole world that she finally calmed down.

Thereafter Alicia had held that event and her words over her head to keep her from making friends with other children. That was how Alicia was able to guilt her into being her personal plaything. So many times she had chances to make 'friends' with talented child actors/singers, all of whom had been pushed away and kept as acquaintances. The exception had been Akko Sanders, she had been the one person to stand up to Alicia and claim Fate as a friend, thereby earning her twin's loathing ever after, at least the only one until Nanoha came along. But even Akko had been set aside when she came out of the closet in order to marry her childhood love. Darkly thinking of her one real childhood friend, 'It's been what… five years since I've spoken to her, Alicia threw such as tantrum after I was her maid of honor/best woman at her wedding. I really am a coward, I never replied to her messages, Alicia is dead, there's nothing stopping me now.'

The realization that the only people still in her life were only people who considered themselves family to her in some way made her stomachache. 'The only people willing to take my crap are relatives practically. The Wolkenritters should have abandoned me a long time ago, I have already frustrated Hayate and Vita to the point they won't see me even if I ask now. Lindy puts up with me for old time's sake and Einhart's benefit. Mom and Arf both believe in family solidarity or even they would have walked away after I cursed and froze them out. I'm a grade-A idiot, no wonder I have no friends.'

She had her head in her hands and was quietly crying, tears having started while her eyes were closed and mind wandered. A small blonde child heard her sniff and was caught by the sight of an adult crying.

She came over and tugged on her sleeve and in a sweet voice asked, "Are you okay? Do you need a hug? Mama says hugs can make everything better."

Fate turned to look at the child speaking to her, she had Christmas colored eyes, one emerald green and the other ruby red looking at her with concern making Fate smile.

"I'm okay sweetie, I was thinking about something sad but it's okay now," she replied quietly then reached out to pat her head.

"Don't worry about me, go play. You came to play, not to talk to crybaby strangers," she laughed at herself now.

"It's okay to be a crybaby sometimes," the little girl said seriously, "Mama says sometimes crying is the only way get rid of the yucky feelings."

"Well your Mama sounds like a very smart lady," turning now so she was now facing the strange child, "where is your Mama anyway, she's probably worried about you."

"Uh…" the child began to search the area with concern, "where is my Mama? She was right behind me when we left the car."

Then they both heard a frantic voice calling out, "Vivio, Vivio where are you?"

"Oh, that's Mama!" then ran towards the voice.

Fate got up and followed the child, "Don't run, you'll fall down."

And sure enough the little girl got about fifteen feet then tripped on her own feet sprawling out on the grass. By that time an auburn haired woman had spotted the child and witnessed her wipe out. Kneeling in front of the child a few feet away, "Mou, Vivio-chan what did I tell you about running. Come on be a big girl, stand up and come to mama."

Her attention was so caught up with the child that she didn't notice the blonde following behind her until a soft voice said, "Now Nanoha-chan, she's just a little girl don't be so hard on her."

Then looking up she saw her long time friend and not-so-secret love, she watched the woman swoop down and lift her daughter. "You're okay Vivio-chan, don't cry now, look your Nanoha-mama is here."

The girl sniffled and reached out to her mama and Nanoha took her child from the one person she never thought she'd see again.

"Thank you Fate-chan," then looking down at her child said, "Ne Vi-chan say thank you to Fate-san for helping you."

"Fate-san?" bewildered eyes looked at her mama.

Fate took a step to get into the child's line of sight, "I'm Fate Testarossa, little one. I'm an old friend of your mama's."

Rubbing the back of her neck in a nervous gesture, "I really didn't know she was yours at first."

Then her own little bundle of joy came over, "Mama, whose that?" pointing to Nanoha and the child in her arms.

Nanoha looked at the mint green haired child and realized at once who she was, "Oh my, Einhart-chan is that you? You have gotten so big."

The little girl blinked, she recognized the lady vaguely but that meant she might be one of the bad people who hurt her mama. She took a step closer to her mama and grasped her belt.

Fate looked down at her with a gentle smile, "It's okay Ein-chan. This is Takamachi Nanoha and her daughter Vivio. She is a friend of mine, I believe she saw you when I was in the hospital a long time ago."

Fate could see the girl frown as if trying to remember that terrible time and all the people who tried to see her mama in the hospital. But it was as if she knew the woman from somewhere else and if that was so why didn't her mama tell her. Nanoha could see the child was upset with this introduction so decided to short-circuit the coming flood.

Putting her daughter down the woman said brightly, "Vivio-chan introduce yourself properly."

"Um, nice to meet you, my name is Takamachi Vivio," the little girl smiled toothily and bowed to her mama's friends.

"Okay Ein-chan it's your turn to introduce yourself," Fate nudged the girl forward.

Eyes wide with nervousness, the little girl declared, "Ah nice to meet you, my name is Testarossa-Harlaown Stratos Einhart," then she bowed to the other pair.

"Wow that's a mouth full!" The little blonde replied then realizing that sounded rude blushed, "You have a pretty name."

Einhart giggled at the blush on the other girl's face, "You can call me Ein-chan."

The other girl smiled so brightly that everyone had to blink, "You can call me Vi-chan," and then she glommed onto the other girl's arm and said, "Let's go play!"

The two girls took off without a second glance at their mamas and began squealing and laughing as they bounced off each other in some kind of game only they understood.

"She's just like you, my poor baby doesn't stand a chance." Fate laughed.

"I don't know what you mean by that Fate-chan? If anything your child is just as charming as you and has bewitched my child," she replied poking her friend's cheek.

Fate grabbed her hand and without thinking pulled Nanoha forward into a hug, "It's good to see you again," she whispered into her hair before releasing her.

Nanoha felt her face flush and heart rate soar, 'It's not fair Fate-chan, why do you still affect me?' she thought as she tried to control her emotions.

With a faint tint still on her face, "I missed you Fate-chan. I hope we can get together while you're still in Japan and hangout."

Fate had begun to walk back to her picnic table and waved Nanoha over to have a seat next to her. It was remarkable she thought, her headache was gone and she felt lighter than she ever had in the last couple of years. 'Nanoha, you still touch me, you still make me feel complete just by standing next to me, how do you do it?'

"They look like they're having fun, if nothing else I think the girls will want to play together again so yeah we should plan to meet up again."

'That's right I need to keep this about the children and I won't have to worry about opening that can of worms still floating around regarding my feelings for her. God knows I don't want her to be disgusted by my body or my rotten attitude, it's not like I'm still appealing,' her self-loathing beginning to circle around the outer edges of her consciousness.

"How have you been? Shamal-sensei said you have been working too hard, being stubborn," she asked and bumped their shoulders together. 'Act normal Nanoha, if she thinks you pity her she'll shut down.'

"Oh yeah, well you know me. I'm just as stubborn and impatient as Nanoha-chan, everything has to be full power, full throttle. The old saying 'no rest for the wicked' seems to apply here."

Resolutely her eyes followed the children as they scampered up the playground equipment and take the slide down only to begin again. She wouldn't look at Nanoha, to do so would make all her carefully constructed barriers fall like a house of cards.

"I know Fate-chan has a tendency to overwork herself, especially when it's something important to her. I also know you have to be frustrated with your own progress, being completely independent physically has always been a matter of pride for you. I hope you aren't being silly and setting up impossible expectations for yourself in that head of yours."

Nanoha knew she had just said the things everyone around Fate had been trying to get clear to her for months, so now how would she take the criticism?

Burgundy eyes turned to look at her, the sadness and pain in them was almost more than Nanoha could stand. 'She looks exhausted, Shamal-sensei was right, she is teetering on the edge, please Fate-chan let me help you?'

Nanoha reached out and grasped her arm, "All you can do is take it one day at a time Fate-chan. You aren't letting anyone down by not being perfect. I am so proud of you, so many people would have given up long ago, never even trying to walk again."

Fate felt the tears coming again, not because she hurt for once but because Nanoha's words, the look in her sapphire eyes that seemed to fill her with warmth. She needed someone to believe in her, someone who'd never hurt her, someone who was strong and honest to support her. She couldn't resist the magnetism of the younger woman any longer and pulled her into another embrace.

Choking back her tears and laughing, "Nanoha how is it you know what to say to make me turn into a puddle? I really should avoid you but I really need a friend right now."

Nanoha wrapped her arms around her friend and began to rub soothing circles on her back, "Ssh, it's okay Fate-chan, I'll always be here for you. If it's to talk or just to hold you, we're best friends remember? You've always been there for me, helping me, so it's only right if I get to return the favor."

Fate trembled in the warm arms that surrounded her, she wanted to snuggle in like a burrowing animal and never leave. She was too weak emotionally to put up the kind of wall necessary to block out Nanoha's caring warmth. She knew later on she would be embarrassed and angry with herself for letting down her guard but right now that didn't matter. She needed to be embraced, Einhart's small arms made her feel loved and needed, but these arms made her feel… something she couldn't name but it felt very good.

Breaking into her bubble of contentment a sweet voice asked, "Mama are you okay?"

Fate looked down from her spot against Nanoha's shoulder and spotted the two girls standing next to each other holding hands and staring at their mothers hugging. She knew she should pull away, pick up her daughter and reassure her but it was too hard.

Then Nanoha spoke for her, "Your mama is okay Ein-chan, she wasn't feeling good so I'm giving her a hug."

Fate felt the arms around her give her a final squeeze then gently release her, she wanted to whine and burrow back in but instead took a deep breath and sat up.

"I'm feeling much better now, thank you Nanoha. Don't worry about me Einhart-love, do you want mama to play with you now."

The girl's worried heterochromatic eyes then took on a brighter light, "Yes please! Can we play shark attack?"

Standing and then hunching over to look at the two girls with a rather wicked grin, "Only if you two are my minnows."

Einhart turned to her friend, "Run Vi-chan, Mama will tickle you and blow raspberries on your tummy if she catches you."

The girls took off and Fate took off after them at a slow jog, she held her hands like a shark's dorsal fin and chased them till catching the first victim and "devouring" her then proceeded to chase after the other child with her baby shark's assistance. Fate nearly caught up with Vivio when Nanoha snuck up behind her and caught her instead crying out, "Shark-hunter!" and then began to tickle the taller woman. Both children were shocked at this at first then jumped in to help when Nanoha called for assistance.

Fate was squirming under three pairs of hands, laughing and trying to speak, panting she begged for mercy. "I give up, ha-ha, come on let me go. Ah! Ha-ha-ha Stop Nanoha-chan! Ah no Ein-chan you're supposed to save me. Get Vivio-chan and I'll get Nanoha, come on help mama!"

"EEP!" Now it was Nanoha's turn as Einhart turned on her new friend and a squeal of giggles erupted. Fate was strong and surprisingly good at overpowering others especially in tickle fights. Nanoha soon found herself under the taller woman, blonde hair curtaining their faces and a soft hand captured both of hers pinning them to the ground and another found its way to her side.

She soon was flopping around on the ground like a fish trying to squirm out of her reach, "Not fair, nyahaha, no stop, come on nyahaha let me go."

Sparkling sapphires begged to be released looking into burgundy eyes that seemed suddenly warm and happy. 'Do I make you happy Fate-chan? I hope so.'

Pulling away a hand from her grip and catching the roaming hand she pouted at her friend, "Mou Fate-chan, you don't play fair."

The blonde laughed at this, "This coming from the woman who sneak-attacked me."

"Mama, I'm hungry," Fate turned her head and saw the two children looking at them.

"Yeah Nanoha-mama, I'm hungry too." Vivio added, "Can we have ice-cream?" pointing to an ice cream stall nearby, the happy tinkle of its bell sounding a cheerful song.

Fate looked at the stall and then down to Nanoha, "Well Nanoha-mama is it okay for them to have ice cream before lunch?"

Nanoha had blushed at the way Fate had said her name, making dirty thoughts spring to mind, 'I'll make you call me Mama alright, hmm.'

They climbed to their feet allowing Nanoha a few moments to collect herself and think about her answer, 'Nuh-nuh, I'm not going to be the bad guy here' she thought and then tossed the hot potato back to the blonde, "I don't know, I know I have a healthy lunch packed with cookies for desert which will have to be saved for after dinner if Vivio-chan gets ice cream now."

"Aww, but those are double chocolate chip cookies." the little girl pouted.

"Well how's this sound? You can both have one scoop of ice now or if you wait until after lunch you can get a double scoop," Fate offered.

The little blonde looked indecisive, she wanted ice cream now but a double scoop wasn't something her mama normally would let her have.

"I can wait until after lunch mama, I want a double scoop, mint chocolate chip and rocky road. Mmh!" Einhart declared.

Fate laughed at the look on Vivio's face, the conflict was now worse for her, if she got the one scoop now she would be faced with watching her new friend eating two scoops later in front of her. "Uuuuh, I'll wait till after lunch too," she groaned.

"Wow, that worked well, I really don't think either of them could eat that much ice cream after lunch though," Nanoha muttered to Fate under her breath.

"But that's not the point. This way they eat their lunch without whining and I get to eat the leftovers of Ein-chan's ice cream later."

Nanoha giggled at the admission, "Ice cream monster," she teased and poked her friend in the stomach.

For the first time in three years Fate gave her signature cocky crooked grin, "Yup! Come on girls let's get back to the picnic table and eat lunch so we can get ice cream!"

Nanoha was surprised when Vivio grabbed her hand then pulled her closer to Fate so she could grip the blonde's free hand. Fate already had Einhart's hand and smiled when she felt another small hand capture her empty hand. The four then walked back to the table and was soon seated and pulling out food containers and exchanging little bites of each other's meal and conversation. After the meal was finished the girls dragged Fate to the ice cream stall, Nanoha trailing after laughing at the scene.

"What do you want Nanoha-chan?" The question seemed loaded, when their eyes met.

"I'll take vanilla and strawberry in a cone," she replied casually, knowing she had to keep things light for now. This was no time for her to make emotional demands on the blonde.

Fate got pistachio almond and chocolate chip cookie dough and then paid for the four ice creams. The four then went back to their table to enjoy their desert. Einhart looked at her friend's ice cream and seemed intrigued with her choice, Cherry and Chocolate.

"You didn't want to try something different Vi-chan?"

"What do you mean?" The little blonde replied.

"Mama and I like to try a bunch of different flavors, you said you always get the same thing so do you want to taste mine?" Einhart offered her cone to other girl.

Christmas colored eyes zoned in on the cone in front of her and she gaped, no other child had ever offered to share their ice cream with her before.

Turning her eyes to look into the other girl's eyes to check the seriousness of the offer, "Reaaallly? I can have a taste."

"Yup try the mint chocolate chip it's really good," and then pushed the cone closer to her new friend's face.

A small pink tongue shot out and took a lick at the unique flavor. "Mmmh, it's really good. Next time I'll get that one instead!"

Einhart giggled at the response, "You're silly Vi-chan."

Nanoha smiled at the exchange, Einhart was a seriously sweet child, very patient and generous. It was clear Vivio was becoming attached to the girl because no one had ever been so nice to her before. Oh the other children were nice but there was still more than a hint of selfishness that marred their playtime with her daughter. Every one of them eventually figured out who her mama was and expected her to be rich and give them things. This day was different for both mother and child; they didn't have to worry about their companions trying to take advantage of them, a rarity indeed.

The rest of the afternoon was spent playing with a Frisbee and catch with a ball Fate had brought with them. It was the best day any of them had had in a long while, no one wanted to go home but dinner time was approaching and both children were sagging with exhaustion from a day of hard playing.

Fate scooped up her child after she had their things packed up again, "This was fun Nanoha, um would you and Vivio like to come to our condo for dinner? I really think after a nap these two could more fun together then crash out for the night."

Vivio sleepily, "Please Mama, let's go, Vivio promises to take a nap and behave."

The crafty child then snuggled into her mother's neck and made a cute humming noise she knew softened up her mama. Nanoha hadn't needed the added incentive; she wanted to spend more time with her friend.

"Okay, but I expect you to sleep at least thirty minutes and no giggling and playing round keeping Einhart from her nap got me."

By the time they got to the condo Vivio was conked out in her booster seat. Nanoha carried her inside and was directed to lay the girl down next to a sleeping Einhart in her full sized bed. Looking down at the children suddenly made Nanoha wish she had met Fate when they had been that age and could have cuddled with each other so easily. They went back to the living room and Fate sank onto the couch lifting her right leg up on an ottoman with a grunt.

"Are you okay Fate-chan?"

Sleepy eyes looked up at her, "Yeah, I am still not use to standing up and running around for so long without my cane, at least I am not limping anymore. I just wish my stamina was back to where it used to be."

Nanoha sat on the ottoman next to her foot and pulled it onto her lap. Strong hands began to rub her calf and then slid up to her taut thigh. Fate groaned at the attention and let her head fall back and closed her eyes.

"You don't have to do that Nanoha."

"I know but it looked like you could use a massage. I want you to relax for a bit then cook for us. I haven't tasted your cooking in forever so I think this is a fair trade."

She knew Fate wouldn't like to accept pampering, her pride wouldn't stand for it.

"It's always been 'quid pro quo' with you, I remember the first time we really got a chance to talk you said that to me."

"Well you were being shy with me, I thought that would make you feel more comfortable, like we were on even footing with each other," Fate smiled, her eyes still closed as she reminisced.

Nanoha thought about that day too and felt color flood her face, 'I wonder what she looks like now without a shirt on? Her face and neck still carry some scars but it must be worse on her body. She is so beautiful even with those marks. I would love to trace them with my fingers and kissing them if it would make her feel better.'

Calming herself she turned her attention back to the massage and just hummed back as a response. After ten minutes Fate was sleeping peacefully and Nanoha watched her for a few minutes before deciding to snuggle up next to her and quickly surrendered to sleep too.


	6. Chapter 6: Wounded Heart

**Disclaimer:** I do not claim ownership of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha Series or its Characters.

A/N: Re-edited 10/22, please check out the sequel to this story if you haven't yet. Reviews are always appreciated.

**~"~"~"~**

**Chapter Six: Wounded Heart**

**Testarossa Condo**

An hour later the nap was interrupted rudely by a phone call, Fate drowsily reached out for the offending item and found herself trapped under a warm weight. Opening her eyes she found Nanoha snuggled up into her side, her head resting on Fate's chest and her arm laying across her stomach. A blush flooded Fate's face when Nanoha's face began to nuzzle in between her breasts in an attempt to escape the ringing noise. She grabbed the phone and shifted to get Nanoha's head away from the center of her chest before she got a nose bleed.

"Hello," her voice sounded harsh from sleep. Clearing her throat she tried again, "Hello Lindy, what can I do for you?"

At first Lindy had been concerned with the rough tone but the fact that Fate had tried to sound more inviting gave her hope.

"Sweet Pea, Precia and I wanted to know if you had plans for dinner tomorrow. We want to take you and Einhart to a new restaurant we found."

Nanoha by this time had begun to wake up and finding herself now nearly sprawled out across Fate's lap made her jump back with a squeak causing the phone and the arm holding it go flying when her head knocked it.

At the clackering noise of the phone hitting the carpeted floor she turned her head and rubbing the back of her sore head, "Oops, nyahaha I'll get that for you."

She picked up the phone and could hear a woman's voice calling out, so she quickly handed it back to Fate. The blonde smirked at the flushed look on Nanoha's face, 'Too cute!' she thought to herself.

"Hey Lindy, yeah I'm back, sorry about that I dropped the phone. Hmm, dinner tomorrow sounds good, I might bring some guests too. What time? Okay. Seven sounds good. Call me when you are on your way. Yeah it's been a great day, look I have to go, I need to start cooking dinner. I love you too, give my love to Mom too. Goodnight."

Fate had gotten up and begun to walk into the kitchen as she spoke on the phone. After hanging up she began to pull things out of cabinets and food from the refrigerator. Nanoha had followed and sat at the bar looking in at her.

"Need any help?"

Washing her hands and vegetables before proceeding to cut the greens so she could sauté them with the defrosted chicken already sitting on the counter, Fate worked with finesse, her movements almost like a dance once she began to work over the open flame of the stove. "You can get the plates down and set the table, silver wear is in the top drawer at the end," pointing from the plates clearly visible through glass cabinet doors down to the counter's drawers.

Nanoha did as she was bid and quickly had the table set and then looked through the refrigerator for drinks.

Seeing this Fate called out, "There should be a pitcher of iced tea, its black tea with peach flavoring. I don't know if you and Vivio will like it?"

"It sounds good, we'll try some," Nanoha replied then poured out four glasses and took them over to the table then asked, "Is dinner almost ready?"

"Um, about ten more minutes. Let's go ahead and awake up the girls so they can wash up," she replied putting a cover over the pan so the ingredients could simmer.

Nanoha put a hand up and said, "I'll get them, just watch the food, we don't want it to burn."

Fate watched her strode over to the bedrooms and the thought of how natural it felt to have the other woman with her, helping her, it made her fearful. Finally the beautiful figure retreated into the bedroom and Fate couldn't help remembering how good it had felt when she woke up with it pressed against her, it made her heart ache. 'I really could get addicted to her. But she doesn't need someone broken and needy like me, she deserves more.' Grey negativity settling over her once more like a fog.

The sight and sounds of the girls waking up, the happy giggles at seeing each other and hugging, made Nanoha's heart clench. Both children needed a friend, someone to be playmate and confidant, and she could see they had found that in each other. 'Well if Einhart and Vivio are going to be best friends then it only seems right that **I **get to be Fate's BFF. Now if only a can make more time to be with her, I know the girls will occupy themselves, but what will we do? I have to make sure I keep her occupied so I can get her to open up and talk. She needs to get the baggage she is carrying around resolved or she'll keep on the way she is.'

After corralling the children back into the dining area she went into the kitchen to help carry dishes. Dinner was another fun event, the girls talked about favorite hobbies and places they've been. Fate felt a bit guilty when it was discovered Einhart hadn't been to a local kiddy-restaurant/play place. Nanoha suggested they all go together next weekend looking at Fate with puppy eyes along with the girls to persuade her into agreeing. Plans were made and Fate couldn't help but smile and laugh with the children when Vivio began listing all the things they could do together. After dinner Fate told the girls to play in Einhart's room while the grownups cleaned up.

Fate washed the dishes and Nanoha rinsed and dried them. They had been working companionably for a few minutes before Fate ask, "Are you busy tomorrow night for dinner?"

Nanoha had to strangle her excitement, "I don't think so, it's a work day so dinner time kind of fluctuates for me depending on when I get off. Most of the time Vivio eats dinner with my parents then I pick up something on my way home, so it just depends on when you want us here."

"That's no good Nanoha, I have to eat a balanced meal just as much as Vivio or you'll get sick. Even if you're busy you should at least eat a healthy snack at a decent hour or you'll end up messing up your body chemistry," she chastised the auburn haired woman and bopped her head with a wet hand.

"Oh I don't want to hear that from the workaholic queen! I've heard from more than one reputable source that you used to skip meals all together. Thank god you're a good mother for Einhart and now eat with her three good meals. I can only image what eating habits you'll have when you go back to work and her grandmothers start taking care of her."

Fate's smile faded a bit as she replied, "I don't plan on working again, at least not the kind of work that will take me out of my home. I hate office work and I don't ever want to be a performer again. I like being a stay at home mom for Einhart, I can get distracted sometimes when I am drawing or writing but usually one of my moms comes around to keep an extra eye on Einhart."

Nanoha was amazed by the statement, a jumble of questions flashing through her mind, 'She doesn't plan on going back on stage? Then why go through all the trouble of rebuilding her stamina and suffering all that extra rehabilitation treatment? Does she plan on letting someone else take over her company?'

"Um Fate-chan have you talked to your family about your plans yet? I spoke to Zafira recently and he said Arf is excited over your progress since it means you can start performing as a singer at least again. I think there maybe some misconceptions going around."

Fate's voice was nearly monotone, almost like she was reading something from an instruction manual, when she replied, "I haven't talked to Arf in a while. I kind of lost my temper with her the last time we spoke and said some things I shouldn't have. As for talking to my family about my plans, I don't think they should have any expectations about me going back to performing. I already told Lindy and Precia we are going back to New Zealand once my treatment is completed. I don't want anything to do with Testarossa Corp or performing."

Nanoha put the last dish down and turned to her friend, hugging her again, "Only you can decide on what you want, what will make you happy. New Zealand is a beautiful country and I know Einhart loves you, that's clear as day. But I also know she needs friends to play with, it's clear to me even though she never said it that she missed being with other kids.

I know you would never do anything to hurt her, you are too selfless and kind. So Fate-chan please think about what moving back there would mean to her. As for work, I know you are very talented, you don't need to get back on stage or in front of the camera to prove that. I'm really jealous of that, I wish I had a tenth of your writing talent so I could write music and stay home with Vivio."

Fate had been sure Nanoha would be upset with her decision, would try to convince her to go back to work for her family's sake but no, Nanoha's only concern had been her and Einhart's happiness. She already knew going back to New Zealand was a bad idea, this one day of seeing her daughter's happiness had proven that to her. The remote wilderness was nice to visit but her daughter needed people, to start school and make real friends. She would not make Einhart a victim of her own selfish want for reclusion.

She rubbed her head against the one leaning on her shoulder, "Thank you, I know you're right about New Zealand, I was already thinking of other places to move so Einhart can go to school with other children. I really just don't want to go back to the U.S. if I did I know I would get sucked back in no matter what I said."

With a breath of relief, "Good, keep thinking about it. Now as for dinner tomorrow I'll try to get off early enough if you want me and Vivio to join you. I'll be leaving her at my parent's café tomorrow morning before work, she normally helps with the baking when it's not too busy and mom has the time. Otherwise she does what I did as a kid and just hangs out upstairs watching TV or reading and playing in my old room."

"That sounds really boring for a child. Why isn't she in daycare with other children or kindergarten?" Fate asked, her concern prevalent in her tone.

"I tried putting her in daycare when I first adopted her and she got bullied. Now she is scared of going to school. When I tried to register her into a preschool class she screamed and held on to me like I was trying to leave her with cannibals or something. She already had abandonment issues when I first found her, it took a while for her to get use to my parents and siblings taking care of her without freaking out. I don't know what I am going to do next year, she has to start school then or I'll have to hire a tutor to home school her. I want her to enjoy school and the other kids but she is pretty traumatized by the idea of _school_," Nanoha stated as she ran a hand up and down Fate's back in an unconscious gesture, seeking comfort as the topic was distressing her.

"Do you think it would be alright to see how she did staying with me and Einhart? I know it's been awhile since we have seen each other and if you're not ready to trust me with her I can understand," Fate had pulled away and was searching Nanoha's face for her reaction.

Oh boy did she get one, Nanoha's jaw dropped at the suggestion, 'She wants to help me?! All the issues and problems this woman has and she wants to help me!'

Closing her mouth and trying to get her scrambled thoughts in order, "That has got to be the sweetest thing anyone has ever asked me. Every one of my colleagues with kids of their own freaks out about Vivio's past and is sure she will be a bad influence on their children. They don't even want to meet her."

Fate's eyes took on a stormy look, "Then they're all assholes who shouldn't be anywhere near her anyway. She IS a good girl and I would be happy to take care of her anytime. When I have PT Lindy and Precia take care of Einhart, if Vivio is okay with them then maybe they can take care of both girls until I'm done. It would be better for both of them, have a playmate and stuff."

Just then both girls popped out of hiding and started begging to be allowed to stay together. Nanoha was surprised by this, Vivio never wanted to stay with anyone else.

"Are you sure Vi? If I try to drop you off here tomorrow and you start crying I won't have time to take you to ojii-san and obaa-san."

The little girl looked very sure, clutching her new friend's hand, "Vivio wants to play with Ein-chan some more. Fate-san is really nice and Ein-chan told me she knows a lot of cool games. Please Nanoha-mama, let Vivio stay with Ein-chan and Fate-san tomorrow."

Listening to her friend plea Einhart joined in silently, Nanoha found herself being pinned by two pairs of heterochromatic puppy eyes. Floundering under the assault Nanoha didn't know what to say.

"Nanoha, if Vivio gets upset at all tomorrow I'll take her to her grandparents. They still run Midori-ya Café near the train station right?"

Sapphire eyes widen in surprise further at this, 'Fate-chan remembers where my family's café is? I didn't write to her about them all that often just a blasé everyone is okay. How much about me do you really remember Fate-chan?'

"Okay, since it looks like I am being out voted about this. I call my parents and let them know you'll be taking care of Vivio for me, let me give you their number in case of an emergency."

The next day when Nanoha dropped off Vivio the process went off without a hitch, Vivio was so excited to see her friend again she didn't have time to become anxious. From the moment she arrived in the condo she and Einhart were always occupied. First they played pretend with dolls and dress up games all morning while Fate worked in her bedroom with the door open.

Precia came by around noon and made sure Fate stopped working for lunch and everyone ate. Vivio was at first intimidated by the purplish-black haired woman, plum colored eyes seeming very imperious and impersonal. That impression lasted for about a New York minute when Einhart then crawled into her lap and wrapped her arms around the woman's neck to plead for her to read to them before their nap. Vivio then witnessed the woman become mush in her playmate's hands, the would-be imperious grandmother ended up reading them three stories with funny voices before they finally fell asleep.

When the girls woke up thirty minutes later Fate had put away her work and was ready to play with them. They played various board games, Candyland, Chutes and Ladders, Memory and then a very giggly round of Operation. Fate then had them sit down at the table and practice writing, Einhart was learning to write her English alphabet and Japanese hiragana. At first Fate just showed the blonde child how to make basic shapes for the English alphabet but seeing Einhart's beautiful penmanship she began to try harder. Soon the little blonde was being taught by both mother and daughter pronunciations for the sounds and a few words on flash cards.

Fate sat back and watched as the two began to play school with Einhart as the teacher. The little blonde was completely in awe of her friend's genius and was doing everything she could to be a good student. After thirty minutes of this play Fate stopped them so they could have a reward for all their hard work and being such good girls. Fate pulled down the cookie jar and placed two huge cookies on a plate and served them each a glass of cold milk. They each devoured their snack and then tried playing cute for a second cookie. Fate had seen this coming. It was hard enough to deny Einhart anything but now she had back up and Fate could feel her resolve crumbling in the face of their combined cuteness. So she pulled out her next distraction, cartoons.

Einhart spoke both English and Japanese fluently, even if she didn't know how to read or write very well yet, so many of the cartoons she owned were American classic cartoon movies. Little Vivio only understood Japanese and that meant her selection of films now were limited as Fate hadn't bought many new videos since coming to Japan. Even with the language barrier Vivio recognized some of the movies and happily choose a cartoon movie with lots of singing in it. It was one of her favorites, little did she know the blonde women before was the singing voice of the princess, if she had she might have exploded with amazement. To the little blonde it didn't matter if she couldn't understand the words when the music and artwork was so beautiful.

It was nearly time for dinner and her mama to come join them for the trip to the restaurant. Both girls had gotten cleaned up and were sitting on the couch waiting to leave, so the little blonde decided now was a good time to ask, "Fate-san, can Vivio come over again when mama goes to work?"

Fate could see the little girl was trying her best to be calm about this, but the request was obviously important to the little blonde. Fate had lightly reprimanded the child before when she got too excited and began to bounce around knocking things over. Not once though had the woman even raised a hand or her voice at her. Other caretakers had done such to her and had left her fearful of them and all future _teachers_. Vivio was completely enraptured by the older blonde, she was so sweet and gentle she was like one of the fairy tale princesses from her stories or cartoons. Her mama had told her to be really good for Fate-san, that she was a really nice person so she shouldn't try to take advantage of her. Vivio had understood what her mama had meant quickly and now wanted to spend any time she couldn't be with her own mama with Einhart and her mama.

"Well Vivio-chan I would like that but we need to ask your mama first, and I know your grandparents will miss seeing you if you keep coming over here every day."

Vivio wasn't sure how to interpret this answer, was that a no? Or was it a yes? Or maybe a yes but only occasionally because you're too much trouble? The little girl squirmed in her seat and tried not to cry when all her thoughts got jumbled, her new friend trying to make her feel better with a hug. Fate could see the unclear answer troubled the little girl so knelt in front of both children.

In as gentle a tone as possible Fate tried to explain, "Vivio-chan, I would like it if you could spend every day here with me and Einhart. You are a very good girl and make my little girl happy. But the decision isn't mine alone to make, we have to ask your mama and take into consideration all the other people who love you too. I know that they would miss seeing you if Ein-chan and I kept you all to ourselves everyday when your mama went to work. So for right now we have to be patient. I promise I'll talk to your mama so you can come over here as often as possible."

Nanoha arrived twenty minutes later and was surprised to see her daughter quietly sitting, she and Einhart were looking through a book with brightly colored pictures. She stepped into the room and her daughter got up and hugged her soundly around the middle. "Vivio missed you mama, but Vivio had lots of fun. Vivio even learn some English today. Come look at what we did…"

Nanoha was then dragged over to the coffee table that had four sheets of paper on it. The first had her childish attempts at hiragana, the next the English alphabet, and then two drawings.

It was clear Fate hadn't just let the girls play or watch TV all day. She had structured their day into one like school. Free time to play, then time to practice writing skills then art time and then more free time, very practical very smart. Her daughter was excitedly talking about all the things they did, games, stories, and the cartoon.

Then the big surprise for Nanoha was her daughter pleading, "Mama, can Vivio come play with Ein-chan again tomorrow, please?!"

Nanoha looked over at Fate who was standing next to Einhart at the door helping her get her jacket on. Fate smiled at her and nodded.

"Well, I guess you can, as long as you promise to be a good girl and not cause Fate-san any problems. You don't want her to get tired of taking care of you."

Fate felt her heart jerk at those words, before she could stop herself she had strode over to the pair and put her hands on Vivio's shoulders, "It's not a problem, even if Vivio acts up a little it would still be okay. I…I," Fate suddenly felt the pain in her chest get stronger and tears come to her eyes.

_Flashback_

"_Stop being an uncouth brat Fate, if you don't learn to control yourself no one will want to be with you. Having self-control shouldn't be that hard, you are a Testarossa, now behave like one!"_

_Angry words and a tight grip on her arm squeezing her before shaking it in emphasis with the last words before she was almost thrown into the Room for contemplation time. Cold and un-approving eyes looked down on her, disgusted with her childish behavior, before shutting the door with a snap. She had been seven years old and caught climbing a tree by her grandmother._

"Fate-chan are you alright?!" A warm hand was cupping her face, trying to make her focus.

She took a deep breath and let it out, "Yeah, I'm fine, I just got caught up there, a memory of my grandmother. Ha! She was a real harridan. She used to get after me all the time, she was the bane of my childhood."

She shook her head, looked down at the two children who were now staring at her in worry. 'I'm so stupid; I'm making little children worry about me now.'

Laughing, "I'm okay, I just got a little upset over the idea of…well never mind."

She looked back at Nanoha with a wry grin, "Don't worry that doesn't happen often, I'm fully capable of taking care of both of the girls. I hope you'll let Vivio come over again."

Nanoha wasn't worried about her ability to provide child care. She was concerned about Fate's emotional state. She had nearly broken down in tears over her words to her daughter.

"I believe you. I'll bring Vivio over tomorrow morning at the same time if that's okay with you. But…" she was about to go on when the door bell rang.

"Ah, that would be Lindy and Precia, everyone ready to go?" Fate announced in a falsely cheerful voice walking to the door and opening it.

Dinner went…okay? Nanoha felt Fate was pretending to be happier then she really was. The same stonewalling came up when discussion of her feelings and future plans.

Lindy smiled at the two children sitting next to each other between their respective parents. Then her eyes moved to the mothers, both young women splitting their attention between the adult conversation and their children. Though they had been separated physically for years and had only a day to rekindle their friendship it was clear they were already on the same wavelength by their coordinated movements and finishing each other's sentences. Fate looked stressed whenever she tried to ask about her future plans but Lindy couldn't fail to see how Fate's eyes darted to Nanoha whenever questions were asked.

Nanoha watched Fate's interaction with her mothers and couldn't help remembering Fate being warm and open with the teal haired woman so many years ago. Now she was cool and remote, what caused this change? Fate was acting like an entirely different person when it came to Lindy. As for Fate's biological mother, she was treated with respect but as a stranger in many ways. As if the woman didn't have a right to know what was going on with her only living child. Precia Testarossa obviously wanted to have a larger role in her daughter's life but Fate was doing all she could to keep her at arms distance, why? Nanoha could clearly remember Fate bemoaning her lack of contact with her mother when they first met, what had changed?

After dinner Nanoha drove herself home from Fate's condo without going back up to the living quarters due to the late hour. She found herself brushing a soft kiss on the forehead of Einhart when the girl reached out to her for a sleepy goodbye hug. The child smelt of Fate, the same sweet vanilla scent mixed with something that reminded Nanoha of a quiet glade where one could be at peace. She then gave her friend a one armed hug as each of them was holding their respective child and she was suddenly filled with a feeling of completeness. In that brief moment when the four of them were locked in a loving embrace Nanoha's world suddenly felt balanced, complete.

Then the moment broke as Fate pulled away, "I'll see tomorrow Nanoha, drive safe. G'Night."

Once again Nanoha watched as Fate disappeared into darkness and suddenly all the confusing feelings and uncertainties of life flooded back into her mind. The whole drive home a riot of thoughts and questions pounded in her mind about Fate, the chances of having a more serious relationship with the blonde and Fate's current relationship with her family. When she got home after putting Vivio to bed she went into her room to lay down before calling Hayate.

"_Hayate-chan, it's Nanoha, I have some questions for you…. _

_About Fate-chan. Yeah she took care of Vivio-chan today for me and we had dinner…. _

_It went okay. Her mom and Lindy-san were there too…. _

_No, it wasn't like meeting the in-laws to be before a wedding! Be serious…._

_Listen to me! Do you know anything about how she is getting along with her family? ..._

_Well I got the feeling they aren't getting along very well…. _

_What do you mean you aren't talking to her? ..._

_Bullshit! Hayate-chan she needs her family. I can feel the pain oozing off her. You need to bite the bullet and see her soon. She needs people she can trust and talk too. I know how close you two are…. _

_No, nothing's changed Hayate-chan, she is still Fate-chan. She's just hurting and is lashing out…._

_Please I haven't known her as long as you have, there are things you know…._

_What? I don't want you to spill her secrets to me, if she wants me know she'll tell me…. _

_HUH! What do you mean she was abused?!... _

_Screw what I said, you can't just say that then expect me not to ask! What happened to her?"_


	7. Chapter 7: Family Tree & Roots of Evil

**Disclaimer:** I do not claim ownership of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha Series or its Characters.

A/N: Re-edited 10/22, please check out the sequel to this story if you haven't yet. Reviews are always appreciated.

**~"~"~"~**

**Chapter Seven: Family Tree and the Root of All Evil**

**The New Testarossa House, ****Uminari, Japan**

**Three weeks later**

Nanoha had taken a couple of days off to help Fate and Einhart move into their new home. It had taken a lot of convincing and Nanoha had to deploy her personal WMD, aka Vivio's puppy eyes, to finally get Fate to agree to purchase the five bedroom/three bath house less than a block away from her home. Nanoha hadn't liked what she had learned in her discussion with Hayate all those weeks ago but the knowledge had helped her in dealing with Fate's _moodiness_. It also left her feelings towards Lindy and Precia more than a little ambiguous. All Nanoha knew for certain was she still loved Fate, nothing could change that. But then again nothing was likely to ever happen between them either much to her dismay.

Nanoha had no problem holding Fate while she cried, listening to the garbled confessions. Slaying Fate's personal demons was something she was learning to do quite well. The woman had so many personal hang ups that if Nanoha stopped to think about it, she would have found it was amazing Fate was able to function at all. Six years ago if anyone had asked Nanoha she would have said Fate had seemed to have a few issues with her family but overall they seemed like a normal well-adjusted family. Then Hayate poured molten lava down her ear and it was only because the elderly couple was dead that Nanoha hadn't tracked them down to give them a good thrashing.

Fate Testarossa, youngest daughter of Malcolm and Precia Testarossa, inheritor of so many talents and skills it left her family stunned. Her education could not be left up to her incompetent parents, instead her formidable grandparents took on this grave responsibility. The child and her elder twin would be taught what it meant to be a Testarossa and be molded into proper young ladies and consummate performers.

Her grandfather Theodore Stratos Testarossa III had married the youngest daughter of a famous Noh actor, Naga Natsumi, a woman of high birth and distinction. Natsumi had no love for her husband but knew her duty and therefore gave birth to two sons soon after the marriage was secured. Of the two children, the elder son Theodore S. Testarossa IV died in his late-teens during a filming accident, leaving no living children. Therefore the second son, who had up to that point been by turns neglected and spoiled by his parents and a rather talentless young man, was now expected to take on the mantle of familial responsibility.

So they married the young Malcolm to the daughter of a prominent Hollywood director, a young woman who was a prodigy in medical science and had no interest in the arts. The young Precia was naïve, an intellectual living in the ivory tower of academia. Her interest was in life sciences, fertility treatments, in helping people conceive. Specializing in genetics and biochemistry, she was awarded for her work towards developing a method that would allow same sex couples to procreate.

Soon after giving birth to her twins she left their care in the hands of their grandparents and the nanny they hired. She didn't think much of her children's up bring, after all her in-laws had raised two children themselves, they knew what they were doing and she had so much work to do in the lab. Long days were spent in her lab, but when she was home it was decided she should try to conceive once again, a son was needed. Five years and six painful miscarriages later Precia and Malcolm Testarossa's marriage was on the rocks and Precia was on the edge of a breakdown. Malcolm was no help as he had taken to drinking and womanizing to deal with the anguish of each lost child, each a blow to his male ego.

Precia had come home after a long day at the hospital, a day of being poked and prodded. She had been taken there by her mother-in-law to be cleared to attempt another pregnancy, something she didn't feel she could take. What she found at the family estate finally pushed her over the edge. Malcolm was in bed with another woman, a young busty blonde whose healthy curves made the sickly thin Precia feel disgusting. The ensuing fight had resulted in Precia storming out of the family home and back to her father. Precia was demanding a divorce and custody of her children. She had a job offer in France to continue her research into alternative reproductive methods and genetic manipulation. She would be able to support her children without the Testarossa family's financial support, all she wanted was a clean break.

It was then her in-laws let their wayward daughter-in-law understand there was no escape. Precia would be allowed to leave the family, a temporary separation due to mental issues on her part. The children would stay with the family where they could be taken care of _properly_ until she was ready to return. Precia hadn't liked this "offer" and put into motion an attempt to secure the custody of her children. It was then she received a letter from "no one" containing a note and a photo of her and another woman engaging in heavy kissing, an event that had happened years before her marriage. The note had stated, "What judge would give custody of two children to a known sexual pervert?"

So Precia Testarossa was now faced with a decision, come back to her husband's family and continue to attempt to give birth to the hoped for male heir or leave, abandoning her children and try to rebuild her life from scratch. Precia had learned over the eight years of her marriage that her in-laws always got their way. Subtle manipulation was par for the course, when that failed outright badgering and borderline verbal and mental abuse had become nearly daily fare when living with Natsumi and Theo Testarossa. Precia tried one more time to make her relationship with Malcolm work, begging him to move out of the family home with her and the children, to make a real home with them. She tried to make him see that he didn't have to listen to his parents, that they could live their own lives.

They had stayed in Precia's father's beach house for nearly a month before Natsumi decided the "family vacation" was over and it was time for them all to come home. Then once back in the pressure cooker that was Testarossa House Malcolm fell back into old habits and started drinking again. Three nights later Precia found Malcolm and another woman in a spare bedroom in another wing of the family home. When Precia tried to get Natsumi do something about the behavior she told Precia it was nothing to get worked up over, besides if she was more of a "real woman" then maybe her son wouldn't have to seek out other women. Precia left permanently that night, two days before her daughters' sixth birthday.

The girls' grandparents wasted no time in maligning Precia. Fate had understood what was going on around her and had refused to hate her mother for leaving them. Alicia who had always been more like her mother intellectually turned every ounce of her love and admiration into hate and loathing. Alicia knew she wasn't as talented as her sister, she was told that fact a dozen times a day, so to curry favor from her grandparents she became another handler for her sister.

Their father weak minded and talentless wasn't going to take over the company, Fate would but until that day came Theo would have to settle on using his grandniece Agnese Rosalia Fiorella Testarossa, or as she liked to call herself Arf. Anyone with a death wish was welcome to call her Aggie and more than once the forcefully immigrated girl found herself having to beat her proper name into the head of an ignorant half-wit. Now as Arf was not a direct descendant from, as Theo would put it, _his own loins_ he refused to entrust her with majority ownership of the company. That honor would be for his perfect granddaughter. So he groomed both girls in _business_ and made sure Arf understood Fate was his heir, Arf the luckless Italian orphan from a distant improvised line should count herself lucky to be Fate's grand vizier.

The old man hired the best tutors and regulated every moment of Fate's education. She had so much potential it was hard to determine where her _best_ use would be. Eventually he decided Fate would be an actor/model/singer until she was about thirty then she would take over the company. It would be best to have her garner as much fame and prestige within the entertainment industry while young then segue into the leadership role within the company. The contacts she'd make throughout her career making it easier for her to forward the company's agenda when she came to power.

Punishment at the hands of her grandparents usually consisted of harsh words and the occasional blow, nothing too violent after all they couldn't risk damaging their greatest asset. When the words were not enough then she was sent to a sound proofed empty room to contemplate her behavior. It consisted of stark white walls and no furnishings. She was forced to sit on the ground or paced the small eight by ten foot space listening to the silence. She'd sit in the room for hours sometimes in pitch blackness if her _misdeeds_ warranted more severe punishment. When visitors asked what the room was for they were told it was a practice room for Fate's voice lessons. During these brief visits from outsiders a practice stand and a wooden chair were stored in the room as _proof_ of its actual use.

When the old man died Fate was twelve and Arf twenty-six, much sooner than anyone had counted on. So Natsumi stepped forward to make sure everything went as Theo had directed in his Will. Fate was not able to take on the role of Vice-president of Testarossa Corp as Theo originally planned due to her age but was able to make decisions through Arf who now held all of the major business positions, CEO, CFO, and President and her power of attorney. Poor Arf was so inundated with all her new responsibilities that Natsumi had her move into the Main House so she could "watch over" her. The pre-teen seeing the trouble her cousin was having left what little of her childhood she had behind and took on the work of a grown adult.

Their "sweet" Nana oversaw every aspect of their lives, from who they _dated_ to what they wore. She made sure they upheld the honor of their name by attending high society parties and industry galas. She would stand close to them in public, a hand on their waist or an arm. If her "girls" misbehaved she would give them a subtle pinch that would often leave a bruise. At home she oversaw Fate's continuing education, acquiring new languages, business law, and voice and dance lessons, there was never to be a wasted minute in Fate's life.

So when Natsumi suddenly passed away when Fate was fifteen it was more a blessing than a curse for both Fate and Arf. Finally they could make decisions of their own regarding the running of Testarossa Corp and their household. Arf agreed to the closing of two wings of the main house and cutting back the staff. The now "normal" sized staff of six handled the daily care of the family and grounds. As for the company they could now "retire" some of the old guard and hire new blood and rebuild the company's reputation of being cutting edge in the film industry.

Fate, Alicia, Arf and the last living male Malcolm were free from their elders but the training and expectations lived on in their minds. Malcolm and Alicia both underachievers as far as Natsumi and Theo had been concerned now took it upon themselves to try and enforce their will after death. Fate tried to rebel against the old ways and was quickly brought into line by Alicia. Words and actions learned from their grandmother were adapted and soon Fate was brought to heel. Never would Fate be allowed to pursue her own happiness, she lived for the family's honor.

Hayate had learned all of this from Lindy and Chrono, both having been witnesses, living in the Testarossa family home from the time Precia had left. Chrono had vivid memories of Fate's grandparents and had made up his mind never to get involved with either of the twins because of it. Chrono joked that the he had always thought the old woman would rise from the grave once a great grandchild was born so she could "train" it properly. He couldn't say he was glad Alicia and Malcolm were dead but he was thankful that they wouldn't be around to traumatize Einhart with their insane expectations.

Nanoha thought about what a lifetime of being subjugated to someone else's will could do to a person. Of constantly hearing your opinion, your needs, didn't matter. Of being told you have to be perfect and that the weight of the world rests on your shoulders. That if you fail then you aren't just disappointing one person but could be ruining the lives of thousands of other people. Nanoha didn't think she could have survived such mental torture, 'I'd have snapped and cut my wrists or maybe somebody's throat.'

So when she unpacked a box and came across a photo album she was surprised that Fate had smiled at it and begun to flip through its pages. Fate called Einhart over and showed her photos of her and Alicia when they were little girls. Lindy's children were often in the background or featured with the girls. The photos showed a progression of birthday parties and Christmas celebrations. Fate rubbed her cheek against the Einhart's hair. The child was sitting in her lap and was asking questions about the presents the sisters had received.

"I stopped asking for presents when I turned eight, I traded that for the right to speak to my mother. Alicia was angry about that, she never wanted to talk to Precia. Would hang up if I tried to give her the phone," Fate's voice was soft, like she was talking to herself.

Nanoha pulled the book out of her hands and closed it, "Ein-chan we can look at the photos again later, how about you and Vi-chan wash up now so we can have lunch."

The child was use to her mother's changing mood, she had been like that for a long time was what she told Nanoha so she shouldn't worry. Einhart had also said she was glad her Fate-mama had survived the accident, she didn't remember much about her "real" mother but she hadn't been nice. The fact that by the age of three Einhart had already made the distinction between her good aunt and her bad mama and was happy god had left her the good aunt made Nanoha shudder thinking what Alicia would have subjugated her daughter too if she had lived.

"Fa ̴ te-chan, stop zoning out, it's lunch time," Nanoha cooed to the distracted blonde, poking her cheek.

"Uhm…yeah, thanks Nanoha," Fate murmured and pushed off the couch and walk to the kitchen.

Fate's face was pale and Nanoha could see she had dark rings under her eyes. 'Damn it, she's still having nightmares, please Fate-chan let me get closer so I can help you.'

As much as Fate had let Nanoha in it was still only skin deep, there were painful memories she still hid, too raw and personal that the blonde felt she could not share. Her grandmother had never left permanent marks on her skin but her soul was scarred and each day she didn't _teach_ Einhart and Vivio _properly_ made the old wounds bleed. She could hear the old woman's voice in her mind, at first it was with quiet authority and now it was the outraged screech that Fate could remember hearing when she had disappointed the woman as a teen. It was the little blonde more than Einhart that had brought out these memories, Vivio reminded her of the child she had been at that age. So enthusiastic and wanting to please, little Vivio could be molded and _taught_ to be so much more.

The friends sat at the table eating and the two younger girls were giggling and Vivio was poking and teasing her friend. Fate watched the behavior and as cute and happy as it made her the Old Woman in her mind was angry.

Fate was beginning to get nauseous from the conflicting emotions and her head ached, "Excuse me, I think I need to lay down for a while."

Nanoha was worried about this but let her go. An hour later Fate was burning up and sweating in her bed. The blonde was tossing and turning, muttering incoherently and crying out, begging for forgiveness. Nanoha had tried to calm her and wake her from her nightmare but Fate seemed unable to fully awake. Scared and feeling overwhelmed Nanoha called Fate's mothers and Shamal. The women arrived within minutes of each other, Shamal trailing Signum and Fate's mothers had an unknown young woman trailing them. Shamal with Signum's help in holding her down was able to give Fate a shot to bring down her fever and help her sleep more comfortably. Then Shamal and Nanoha decided it was time to confront the older women.

Nanoha walked back out to the living room and pointed to the red-headed girl sitting next to Precia.

"First of all who's this? And why'd you bring her here?"

"Ah this is my adopted daughter, Teana Lanster. She came to meet Fate, she just graduated from college and was hoping to be of help to Fate."

"You have another daughter? When did this happen? Does Fate know about this girl?"

"When I moved to France for work Teana's brother worked for me, he was killed in a terrorist attack on our facility. He was Teana's only living relation so I took her in. I adopted her ten years ago, I put her in a boarding school when Fate had her accident so didn't come with me. Fate knows I'm Teana's guardian, and why I agreed to take care of her. Most importantly I have explained to her that Teana was never a replacement for her or Alicia."

"I… we aren't that close. I appreciate everything Precia-sensei has done for me but I really don't see her as a mother. I know Fate-san has been having problems and whatever I can do to help her I want to do it," the red-headed girl said painfully earnest.

"Okay, but do you know about her past? I just heard about Fate-chan's childhood from Hayate, a friend of mine. I don't want Fate-chan's privacy invaded anymore than necessary."

"I have spoken to Lindy-san about the issues Fate-san seems to be having. I have a degree in psychology and business management. Ah…I was a bit conflicted in what I wanted to study so I double majored. I wanted to learn something that could help the Testarossa family as a repayment for Precia-sensei's care all these years."

"Okay, maybe you can help. It'll be up to Fate-chan if she wants to trust you with anything going on with her personally. Right now I need to talk with Lindy-san."

Sharp sapphire eyes pinned Lindy, "It seems something about her situation here in Japan is bring back memories of her childhood… Why is she asking for forgiveness in her sleep? What's going on?!" Nanoha demanded.

Lindy shifted in her seat, she had heard Fate's cries and it had brought back her own memories of **that** time. She had had to intervene before the old woman actually severely hurt Fate, physically.

"You have to understand I didn't know…I didn't realize how bad things were. Fate's grandmother's mind was going and in the last few months before she died of a stroke she started acting strangely, so maybe that was the real reason why it happened. You see Fate had been talking to Akko on the phone, that was a friend of hers, joking about the next time they would spar. Fate should have been working on something, I'm not even sure what but I can remember Natsumi walking into the room and staring hard at Fate. Well Fate hung up quickly and bent her head to the papers in front of her. But apparently that hadn't appeased the old woman...um Natsumi.

Anyway, when I saw Natsumi leave the room I relaxed and decided it was okay to leave Fate alone. I had to work on something else in another part of the house. It was only when I heard the screams a few minutes later that I even knew Natsumi had come back to _deal_ with Fate's infraction. Fate had been tied to the table, face pressed down on the paperwork. Her shirt and bra cut away leaving her back exposed. Natsumi had a whip in her hands, she had already struck Fate a few times and there were bright red lash marks on her back. I ran over and tore the whip out of her hands before she was able to strike again. After that I never left Fate alone with Natsumi again, the old woman slapped me for interfering that time. She hit me more than once before she finally died in fact."

The room was silent, no one but Lindy had known about this event, Fate had begged her to keep it a secret from everyone else, she knew her grandmother was ill and hadn't wanted her to be punished. Lindy still couldn't understand how Fate could love and want to protect the woman that had hurt her.

"She's fighting her grandmother in her mind, the woman hurt her, is still hurting her. I think it's because of the girls, she is feeling guilty for not_ teaching them properly_. She is failing to meet her grandmother's expectations. I suspected something like this would happen eventually,'" Lindy was trying not to cry; trying not to think of all the ways she failed to protect Fate in the past.

"What do you mean by _teaching them properly_, Fate-chan is amazing with them. They are learning so fast that they won't have any problems when they start school this coming spring."

"Nanoha, Fate was not allowed to be a child growing up. She was a tool, an object. The only time Fate was allowed to act like a child was when she was on shoots. Even then she was expected to be a well-behaved perfect angel. Where do you think the nickname the American Angels came from? It was a role both the girls had to portray while in public, they had to be cute and sweet, always charming. When I got them behind closed doors when we weren't at home I tried to give them time to be kids but they really didn't understand what that meant. Clyde and Chrono had to teach them how to laugh and play, I mean really play. The girls knew what playing looked like but never relaxed enough to enjoy it. It was like there was a camera always watching to make sure they were doing it right."

Frustrated Lindy jumped up and began to pace, "Natsumi treated her grandchildren like talking dolls. No one was allowed to have their own opinions, when Theo was alive she did her wifely duty to enforce his will. After he died she went loopy, she acted as if she could still speak to him and would make irrational demands on everyone. Fate was the focus of her obsession, Theo always spoke about how she was the culmination of the Testarossa Family's greatness. When Fate made the _mistake_ of acting like a teenager instead of Natsumi's perfect grandchild she would rant and rave at her for disappointing her. Each second of the day was accounted for, there was always a lesson to be learned. Fate isn't doing that with Einhart, she wants her to enjoy a normal childhood without all the crazy expectations. Fate is fighting her own programming each and every day so doesn't force Einhart to be a performer."

Nanoha looked at Precia and Lindy with anger, "You just left her there, both the girls. You could have collected evidence of the abuse and gotten them out."

"Nanoha it wasn't that simple, the Testarossa family, Theo and Natsumi, were well-respected in the community and incredibly wealthy. If either of us tried to do anything against the family we would have been personally destroyed. I'm sure you know Precia was treated like a broodmare by Natsumi, that's why she left the family. They didn't care about her personal safety or happiness, they just wanted a grandson. As for me, I was under a contract to the family which left me with about as many personal rights as a feudal serf. And they practically owned my sons, my late husband signing a contract that gave them immense legal power over them," Lindy tried to explain but knew this all sounded like excuses but the powerlessness she felt then and now was real.

The talk had been going on for a while and no one noticed the subject of their conversation enter the room. Fate's head was still fuzzy from the medicine and fever but she needed a glass of water. Seeing her family all converged in her living room made her confused. She didn't like Lindy being near Nanoha, irrational thoughts filled her mind. Fate made her way sleepily to Nanoha, her light in the storm of her disordered mind, and wrapped her arms around her. The serious and tense mood suddenly lightened at the sight of Nanoha blushing when Fate nuzzled into her neck.

"Ah-ha Fate-chan! What's wrong?" she cried, doing her best not to pull away in embarrassment and hurt the woman's feelings.

"I don't know…hmmm" she sighed as she began to burrow into sweet smelling auburn hair, "I… wanted something to drink but…."

Nanoha felt Fate lean her weight against her, catching the woman before she collapsed to the ground. Fate had fallen asleep standing up. Nanoha lifted her up bridal style and carried her back to her room. When she started to pull away she suddenly felt herself being pulled forward. Fate was trying to use her as a cuddle toy. Nanoha's heart was doing flip-flops, she desperately wanted to succumb and lay down with the blonde but the rational part of her mind told her to leave and get a glass of water for the woman. Fate didn't know what she was doing right now, it was up to Nanoha to make sure nothing untoward happened even if untoward was exactly what she wanted.

Using a pillow as a distraction Nanoha slid out of Fate's grip and went back out to the waiting group. She was faced with more than one knowing grin, it made her angry, Fate wasn't going to make any love confessions to her. She went into the kitchen for a glass of water as she pointedly ignored the others and went back to the sleeping blonde. Gently urging her awake so she could drink then once that was done Fate mumbled her thanks and fell back asleep.

After tucking Fate in she went over to Einhart's room to check on the children. Nanoha had sent them to the room to play. Einhart and Vivio were sitting on the bed cuddled up napping. Both children had been upset with Fate's condition, both strongly bonded to her. Vivio wanted them all to be together forever and had made that request more than once. Fate had smiled and told her that she would always be there for Vivio and Einhart. Vivio had taken to calling Einhart "onee" or sister which had both mothers feeling a mixture of concern and happiness.

"Girls, hey wake up Sweeties." Nanoha nudged the girls gently.

Einhart's eyes flew open and focusing, "Is Mama okay?!"

Vivio looking just as concerned asked, "Is Fate-san okay Mama?"

"Yes Sweeties, she is sleeping right now, do you want to check on her?"

Both girls scooted off the bed and walked quietly to the master bedroom. After seeing the peacefully sleeping blonde and giving her soft kisses on her forehead and cheek both girls backed out of the room and agreed to play quietly in Einhart's room until dinner time. Minds relieved they could go back to playing and unpacking boxes of toys and books.

The green haired girl pulled on Nanoha's hand before returning to her friend and Nanoha knelt to speak to the child.

The girl said, "I'm glad you're not just pretend. Mama needs someone to protect her from the bad ones."

Nanoha wasn't sure what the little girl meant by _pretend_ or the _bad ones_ but she sure as hell would protect the blonde with everything she had.

Lindy and Precia had watched Nanoha handle Fate and the children and were quietly gratified that someone could help their daughter. For so long Fate had refused to admit to her weakness or allow them to really help with Einhart. The fact that Fate was so relaxed could only mean she trusted the auburn haired woman to handle things _appropriately_. They couldn't be, and as much as it hurt they understood why Fate couldn't trust them.

When the young woman returned to the group Shamal teased her, "I think we can trust you to take care of your wife from here on."

It was the wrong thing to say.

Nanoha's frustration and annoyance finally finding its breaking point she nearly screamed, "No Shamal! She isn't my wife, god knows I want that but she won't even talk to me about having a relationship deeper than friendship. I love her, but she doesn't love me the same way. She doesn't want me…"

Tears began to flow and the girl dropped down to the couch trying to catch her breath and rioting emotions.

Lindy put a hand on her shoulder and gently admonished her, "Nanoha-chan, believe me when I say this, Fate loves you. She really truly loves you. She has since you two met all those years ago. She just doesn't know how to have a relationship, she doesn't know how to act. She is probably scared of hurting you, of letting you down… disappointing you. So if you really love her just stay by her side and show her your love, eventually it will get through to her and who knows…"

Then looking over the group still assembled, "What do you say we help unpack the rest of this stuff and then make a nice dinner for our sick little girl. When she wakes up it'd be nice if everything was set up and ready to go."

The others agreed and went about carrying boxes to Fate's office or living room from the moving truck still parked outside. Nanoha opened the last box labeled, Important Documents, in Fate's neat handwriting. There was a stack of Tax forms on top which she put directly into the filing cabinet in the office. Under these forms was a worn photo album, and Nanoha couldn't help herself and had to open it. Inside was a collection of photos from their first meeting. Also safely stored under plastic was every letter she had ever sent the blonde. There were press clippings of Nanoha's biggest achievements and surprisingly the doodle she had drawn on Hayate's book cover over a decade ago saved like it was a precious artifact. Then in Fate's own hand was a sketch of her, her face slightly turned but with a smile that she knew only Fate had ever brought to her lips.

Nanoha hugged the album to her chest, her heart ached so badly. It was these little things that Fate did that spoke volumes about how greatly she cared. Why couldn't the blonde just say she loved her, why couldn't things be easy? It wasn't like Nanoha was playing hard to get, she had all but thrown herself naked at Fate in an effort to make her see she was seriously in love with her. She took down a notepad and quickly and recklessly wrote, _I love you Fate-chan, from the first day we met and until the day I die. Please, please don't push me away, you are my everything. – Nanoha_

Sticking the note in the last empty slot in the album she shut it and put the book on the shelf next to the other photo albums. Nanoha stared at the book for a while, how long would it be before Fate opened again, and when would she discover the hidden note? Would it be enough to make Fate reconsider her hands off position or be the final straw and force the blonde to break ties with her for good?

After two hours everything was settled and the group was debating what to have for dinner. The girls came out of the room and made the suggestion of pizza which was quickly agreed upon. A movie was selected and everyone settled down for the show while awaiting the delivery of the food. Fate woke up to the sound of laugher and the delicious smell of fresh pizza.

Wearing rumpled clothing and still groggy she came out and was met by Einhart with a plate of pizza followed by Vivio carrying a drink for her. They led her off to the Lay-zee Boy chair where she settled in and took the plate and set her drink it the arm rest cup holder. The girls then went back to the coffee table where their food was waiting. Fate looked over and saw a face she didn't recognize. "Hello, who might you be?"

Teana was surprised once again with the beauty of the blonde, even disheveled and sick she was awesome. Standing up and bowing, "Ah, Hi… I'm Teana Lanster."

The name was enough to make the connection, "Oh my new little sister, I'm sorry I haven't been very sociable before. It's nice to finally get to met you."

Fate reached out a hand to shake. Teana took the hand and shook it happily, 'She called me her sister, I didn't think she'd do that.'

Releasing the warm soft hand, "It's an honor. Precia-sensei talks about you a lot. If there is anything I can do to help you please let me know?"

Fate made a face and shook her head, "Ne Teana-chan, I don't want you to act like that, we are family now, I've been a bit of a jerk for a while, so let's try to be friends. I don't want or need an employee or god-forbid a groupie."

Nervous but willing, "Right, please take care of me then."

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

The next few days were nice and yet annoying at the same time, Nanoha liked Teana, but she hated the way the girl seemed to be glued to her _sister_ twenty-four/seven. Einhart and Vivio liked her too, talking about the things Onee-chan did for them and with them. It was funny to see the normally reserve girl become a mushy little-kid when they watched Disney princess movies. But what was annoying was Teana being smart, pretty and _staying_ in Fate's home. Nanoha was torn between happiness that Fate was letting someone help her and jealousy that someone other than her was allowed to be so close to _her_ Fate-chan.

Fate was working on her newest graphic novel and was about to finish the inking when Teana came in with the phone.

"Fate-san, phone call for you, it's your cousin Arf."

Fate squeezed her eyes shut and sighed before reaching out for the phone, "Thank you Tea-chan."

The girl could sense she wanted privacy so left the room, closing the door behind her.

Thankful for the understanding Fate swallowed her nervousness and spoke into the phone, "Hi Arf."

Arf was surprised by the quiet gentleness in her cousin's voice. She didn't sound as angry or hurt as the last time they had spoke. She decided to do everything she could to bury the hatchet and get back on good terms with her favorite cousin. After an hour of talking out their issues and lots of apologies on both sides both women felt better. Arf was silently thanking God for Nanoha, they had only briefly met when Fate was in her coma but she had felt how much the girl cared for Fate and Arf was happy that hadn't changed. 'I should have sent her to Japan years ago. We could have avoided a lot of heart ache and angst if that girl had just been there.'

"Fate, I know you don't want anything to do with the company and I respect that but I need your help. TCJ has come under a cloud of disrepute. After Seito-san retired it's been hard to find a good replacement. I need for you to clean up the company's reputation, please, this has to be handled by the family directly or no one's going to believe we are taking the charges seriously. Once things are under control we can find a new President and you can go back to your medical retirement."

"You don't have to call it that, _medical_ retirement, it sounds like I'm a cripple who can't contribute to the family business," Fate replied grumpily.

"You know I didn't mean it that way, you are still the best song and script writer the company has, _that_ alone makes you the most valuable employee we have. But I still need your help so don't try to distract me, will you do it?" She retorted.

Rubbing her face and knowing she would likely regret her answer, "Yeah, I'll help. I'll go down to the offices Monday. After I assess the situation I'll call you back and we can plan out how we can get things back in order."

"Thank you Fate, I love you Sweet Pea. I promise once this is done you can decide what you want to do for the rest of your life. No pressure."

"Ha, yeah right…no pressure. I'll talk to you later Arf, love you," then she hung up and Arf sat there listening to the dial tone with a feeling of guilt flooding her.


	8. Chapter 8: Back In The Saddle Again

**Disclaimer:** I do not claim ownership of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha Series or its Characters.

A/N: Re-edited 10/22, please check out the sequel to this story if you haven't yet. Reviews are always appreciated.

~"~"~"~

**Chapter Eight: Back in the Saddle Again**

**Testarossa Corporation Japan Headquarters **

Now that Fate was working again child care seemed the last thing she could provide for her friend except on weekends and evenings. So Nanoha found a kindergarten nearby and with Einhart being enrolled at the same time she was amazed with how quickly Vivio adjusted to _school_. Fate and Teana who was now being trained as her assistant were busy from eight in the morning until six in the evening. They would have been there even later but Fate refused to work longer, she wanted to be at home with her daughter for dinner. When Nanoha's schedule meant she had to be at work late in the evening or early before school started Fate would take care of picking her up or dropped her off with Einhart. Vivio was happy to spend any time with Fate and Einhart now that Fate was working full-time again.

Teana liked living with Fate but could see the woman wanted her home back, so after two weeks of being a houseguest she decamped into her own apartment near headquarters. Nanoha didn't know this at first and was annoyed the first time she heard some wag calling Teana Fate's lover. The joke was Fate was her _onee-sama_ and was teaching her _everything_ she needed to know. Seeing as the two women were always together and the not so secret rumor floating around about Fate being either bisexual or an outright lesbian only added fuel to the fire. During an interview with a prominent entertainment magazine Fate tired of the innuendo decided to come out.

"_Let me be brief and answer some ongoing questions that have been hampering my ability to resolve the issues with TCJ. Yes, I am a lesbian. No, I am not involved in a romantic or sexual relationship with Teana Lanster, she is my adopted sister, there is nothing going on between us. Yes, I have been in love with another woman before. No, nothing happened between us, I was an active performer at the time and didn't have time for a relationship. No more personal questions please, I came here today to discuss the current state of TCJ, not my nonexistent love life."_

Nanoha spit out her coffee when Hayate stuffed the magazine article in front of her to read. Fate had never talked about her sexuality with her. Thinking back all those years ago when Nanoha had confessed her feelings she realized Fate hadn't rejected her because she didn't like girls but because she was going back to the U.S. 'Shouldn't that mean I have a chance now?'

"So how much longer will we have to wait Nano-chan before Fate-onee-chan is admitting to something more going on between you two," the devious girl asked with her eyebrows wiggling.

Nanoha's only reply was a deep blush and a pillow being flung at her friend's face.

"_The company has completed its internal audit and we are happy to report all the perpetrators of illegal and immoral actions have been brought to light and justice. We are now beginning work on a fresh project now that the painful culling is behind us. While I do not plan to star in the production, we are looking at signing on up-and-coming young actors. In fact a new subdivision is being created to help groom our new prospectives into great stars. Our management program will be innovative and the performers can look forward to one-on-one attention from our trainers. We have invested 20 million US dollars in our facilities to make them world-class and we have the leaders in the industry working in them. They're so good I found myself playing around in there just the other day and ended up recording a single ha-ha we will be using the song as the theme in our new production. Please look forward to it!"_

_-except from "JWOW News" magazine, interview with Fate Testarossa President of TCJ_

Fate had fired six people and had ten more on administrative leave pending further investigation. It had been a gut wrenching experience, she had never wanted to terminate anyone before but the blatant disregard these men had for the law and human decency left her no choice. Most of the others still under investigation had been lower level minions but Fate didn't like the idea of them staying with the company only because they hadn't shown strength of will to avoid getting involved with the evil acts their superiors had perpetrated. Pending the final report she would be terminating all ten of them, unless she found some kind of mitigating circumstances she couldn't think of a reason to keep them on.

Looking over the last contract for the renewal of a rental property and signing off, Fate sighed before stretching.

"Hey, you doing alright?" Teana asked carrying two cups of coffee.

Sitting down a cup on the desk she then settled into the padded chair in front of the desk.

Shifting so they could make eye contact she asked, "Are you still up to the interviews this afternoon? I can reschedule them if you want to take a half day. Most everything is finally under control, you can take a nap before picking up the girls."

Fate was tempted to say yes but also didn't want to drag out the interviews with prospectives, "I'll be okay, besides I'd rather get this done today and maybe take the day off tomorrow. Nanoha finishes her shoot and I'd like to do something special for her, maybe cook a nice dinner for her."

Teana wasn't blind to the feelings Fate had for her friend and she could see Fate was struggling to come to a decision on what she wanted. All the teasing she got from Lindy and Hayate wasn't really helping the matter either.

"You really like Nanoha-san don't you?"

The blonde immediately went on the defensive, "We're only friends, best friends."

Trying to un-ruffle her, "I know you are just friends with Nanoha-san, but have you ever thought of maybe taking things further with her? She's made it pretty clear she would like more. It's not like you have to be worried about being rejected."

Teana could see a rush of emotions flow across Fate's face, hope, fear, longing, resignation. "I can't risk that, I couldn't stand losing her as a friend. She means the world to me and I won't risk our friendship just to satisfy my own lustful desires. Besides there are a lot better people out there for her, eventually she'll realize that too."

The redhead wanted to smack the blonde across her deluded head. Fate and Nanoha were made for each other, even a blind person could see that. Watching the two of them dance around their feelings for the past six months had made her want to knock their heads together and lock them in a room until they worked out all their pent up sexual frustration. But most of all she was glad Nanoha finally realized Teana didn't have any interest in the blonde romantically, she had felt the cold breathe of death on her neck more than once before that was cleared up.

"Fate-san, do you really want to stand by and watch Nanoha-san get scooped up by someone else? I understand the fear of losing a friend if things don't work out but do you really think Nanoha-san is the type of person who would throw away your friendship if a romantic relationship didn't work out?" Teana prodded.

Teana had just put her finger on Fate's newest personal nightmare, at least once a week now she dreamt of Nanoha walking away from her with a faceless somebody. It had left her feeling so empty and scared she had called Nanoha in the middle of the night the first time just so she could hear her voice. Nanoha had offered to come over and that selflessness had made Fate laugh at herself, and shortly after she was able to fall back to sleep. But each return of the dream had left her feeling more and more unsettled.

Fate wasn't sure how to reply to the question and was thankful for a distraction in the form of her secretary announcing the arrival of her first interview candidate. Teana shifted seats to sit off to her left side with her tablet ready to make notes.

Fate seeing everything ready from the corner of her eye nodded and said "Show them in."

After six grueling interviews where Fate had wanted to start chewing her arm off and crawl out the door, 'I hate boot lickers, thank god we're finally done.' She picked up her briefcase and started looking for her car keys.

"I'm going to head out now Tea-chan, please file those contracts and then you can leave for the day."

"Um okay, ah Fate-san are you really going to think more about the Nakajima sisters? They're both so talented and beautiful." Teana was bashful about questioning her mentor but knew she wouldn't be yelled at, Fate was gentle and always explained things so she understood her decisions.

"I like the little sister Subaru, she has both the looks, talent and personality to succeed but her sister makes me uncomfortable. They come as a pair so I think it would be better to pass on them."

Seeing the confusion on her sister's face Fate explained lamely, "It's just a gut feeling but I think Nakajima Ginga is going to be more trouble than she's worth."

Teana was surprised by this; she thought Fate and Ginga had gotten along very well. The blue haired beauty seemed to have no problem conversing with Fate, she might've called some of the behavior as flirting but it hadn't been overtly inappropriate.

Teana verbalized her own thinking, "She seems like a very personable and confident young woman. I'm not sure what I'm missing. She didn't say or do anything provocative per se but I could see where she could play the sexy femme fatal."

"Hmm, maybe I am just over thinking things, if you really think they'll do well you can sign them for a one year probationary term, if things look good then we can extend it."

She pulled her keys out and waved to her sister, "Call them yourself and they can sign tonight, it's up to you to close up after that. I'll see you the day after tomorrow unless something important pops up, you are in charge. Good night."

Fate picked up the girls and once they got into the house Fate sent them to play for a while before dinner. She changed out of her office attire into new outfit Arf had sent her. It was a pair of short black sport shorts that had lightning bolts coming down the sides of her thighs and a black tank tee shirt with her favorite cartoon character on it. She hadn't worn shorts in a long time, looking in the mirror she felt a bit of distress, the scars were faded and the flesh pale.

Running a finger down the scar on her thigh she sighed, "Well at least they were able to put this humpy-dumpty back together again, it's not perfect but I'm alive."

Sliding on her black house slippers she went to the kitchen and tried to swallow her foreboding, 'What will Nanoha think?'

Nanoha was in a grumpy mood, she had been slighted by a new actor on set. Normally she didn't let this stuff bother her but the guy had been an ass to nearly everyone and that was what set her off. Before the day was over she had gone White Devil mode on him. The man was a shivering apologetic mess after she was done with him which was good, but she hated having to go there. 'Why can't people be professional damn it?!'

She parked her car and walked up the block to Fate's house hoping to get her foul mood under control. She didn't want to take out her frustrations on the blonde, complaining about work was such a waste of her precious Fate-chan time.

She unlocked the door and called out to the residents, "I am home."

Nanoha flushed, she did every time she said the words, this wasn't her home but Einhart and Vivio had insisted she say the words when she arrived. She heard the pattering of small feet then two brightly smiling children came into view. They each hugged her tightly and greeted her.

"Did you two have a good day at school?"

Vivio gave her a happy "Uhm!" and Einhart said more coherently, "Yes ma'am."

Nanoha couldn't get over how cute the little green haired girl could be, so loving and sweet and so shy and polite. She was just like her Fate-mama; Nanoha had to restrain herself from nearly squeezing the girl to death when she made that signature crooked smile at her.

"Come on, I want to see what Fate-chan is making for dinner."

With a child latched onto each arm she came into the kitchen and the sight of Fate in shorts nearly floored her. Long pale legs, perfectly muscled and beautiful had Nanoha staring, she could see the scars yes but that did not detract from the goddess like perfection, if anything it made her more beautiful in Nanoha's eyes, she survived, she is thriving. Pulling her eyes away from her legs she could also see the faint scars on her exposed upper right arm. Then she met Fate's eyes, she could see the concern and wariness. 'Oh Fate-chan don't make such a face,' Nanoha thought to herself.

So she smiled, it wasn't her fake everything-is-perfect work smile but a real smile that seemed to say I am happy just to be with you.

Coupled with her smile she said with a loving tone, "Hi Fate-chan, what's for dinner?"

Fate laughed, she had too, Nanoha had done the one thing she hadn't expected. She looked at her alright but then accepted it, her, and just moved on, no fanfare or hoopla necessary.

"Stir fry chicken on rice, it should be ready in another five minutes or so. You all should get washed up."

"Right," looking down at her bookends, "You heard the lady, time to wash up"

By the time she got back with the children four plates of steaming food was sitting on the table. Fate was pouring out drinks and balancing her cell phone between her shoulder and chin, "Yeah…yeah that's great Teana. I have to go now… have fun. Remember to keep it professional in the office. Ha yeah, love ya too bye-bye."

Nanoha felt her heart clench, every time the blonde told someone, anyone, she loved them. 'Teana you better be thankful I believe you when you say nothing is going on between you two or I may have to go White Devil on you, Fate-chan belongs to me.' Nanoha had taken Lindy's advice to heart, she would be the one to stand by Fate through every adversity, she would make the blonde laugh and smile, make her see the only one who should be with her was her, Nanoha.

Fate felt the subtle shift in the mood, Nanoha hadn't said anything about her feelings recently but the "L" word always made her react. 'Maybe soon,' Fate thought, 'give me a little more time Nanoha, show me more of your heart, show me I can trust you.' Fate knew she was being selfish and irrational, Nanoha was everything she wanted, all she had to do was reach out and she'd be there. But then the voices in her head screaming at her didn't make it easy, the loudest being Alicia and her grandmother.

Breaking through her own chaotic thoughts she spoke to the group, "Don't just stand there, the food will get cold. Come on you lot," clapping her hands.

Dinner as always was fun and relaxing, the mothers listened to the doings of their children. Nanoha was able to ask about Fate's day and laugh at her bemoaning her time wasted by _brownnosers_, her politest term for her loathed subgroup. It didn't surprise Nanoha that people were admiring and complimenting Fate, she was only thankful the blonde didn't take any of the flattery to heart. Her greatest fear was someone swooping in and engaging the blonde's interest before she had a chance to counterattack.

Neither Nanoha or Vivio wanted to go home that night, the little blonde was begging to stay the night and sleep with her best friend. As much as Nanoha wanted to join in and turn their forces against the gorgeous blonde so **she** could sleep with her best friend she knew it was better for them all to go home and sleep in their own beds. Taking a weepy Vivio in hand she walked home and wished and pleaded with any god that was listening, 'Please let her see how much I love her, let her accept me soon, I can't take this for much longer.'

The next day didn't help Nanoha's resolve to keep her hands to herself. Fate arrived with both their daughters right when shooting was finished and had Vivio give her a large bouquet of flowers. Then the four of them went out for dinner and a movie. Allowing the girls to sit off on their own had been a bad idea on her part, now it felt like a date. Nanoha couldn't help but take Fate's hand intertwining their fingers like they had so often in the past. Fate smiled at her and continued to watch the film but now her thumb was rubbing circles against the back of her hand. Nanoha began to fantasize about pushing the arm rest out of the way and climbing into Fate's lap. From there she could think of a number of things to occupy herself with much more entertaining than the movie.

Nanoha was on the edge, she had been patient, she had been understanding, now she wanted what should be hers, Fate. Every little loving gesture Fate showered on her made it all that much harder not to jump on her and ravage her. Then they ran into Teana and the Nakajimas. Hyperactive Subaru was cute and funny but the cool beauty Ginga had Nanoha's teeth set further on edge. The woman seemed to know better than to touch Fate but that didn't mean she wasn't sleazing all over her verbally. Fate was polite and tried to disengage the other group but Subaru had caught the children's attention and they were dragged into a nearby arcade.

Fate hadn't been in an arcade in a long time and was happily playing games with the girls and Subaru. The two laughed when playing a fighting game against each other as Subaru was getting thrashed. Vivio found the Dance Dance Revolution game and tried to play; when she failed she pushed her mother onto the platform. Nanoha's dancing drew the other members of their group and it wasn't long before Subaru was egging on Fate to a dance off. Fate pulled Nanoha off the platform and Subaru took up her place on the platform next to her. The first song was pretty slow and both scored perfects easily. The second was much faster in tempo and it was clear Subaru had played the game before, but Fate's pride was on the line and she kept up. The final song was set on hard and was a club mix of one of Fate's songs. When the intro started a faint gleam entered her eyes and she danced, her arms and legs flew, hips gyrated and soon the blonde was singing out loud. Fate had scored a perfect, sweat was pouring off her temples and her heart pounded but she had won.

"Oh my god Fate-sama that was awesome!" Ginga proclaimed and jump hugged her.

Fate pushed her off gently and reached for the applauding children. Turning down to face the two excited little girls, "What'd you two think?"

Both of the little girls were gibbering, jumping onto her and exclaiming her awesomeness. Fate happily picked up both girls and laughing said it was time to go home. Little old ladies like herself didn't have the stamina to keep playing all night. Both girls were disappointed but were happy to be in her arms and allowed themselves to be carried back to the car. Fate just called out her goodbyes to the young women and Nanoha found herself chasing after her. Fate was rather quiet on the drive home, only replying when asked a question.

Burgundy eyes took in the excitement and joy in the children's eyes, they would now expect her to dance, to sing and dance, to perform. The expectations were growing, she could feel the weight of them begin to bow her back. If she didn't go back to work she'd be failing them, they would be right to hate her, to be disappointed. What excuse could she give them, she had gone through all that painful rehabilitation just so she could walk and run again like a normal human being. But it also meant she could dance again and if she ready for more cosmetic surgery to remove the last of the scar tissue she could act. That was what she was born to do, Nana always said that she was a gift to the people, it was a crime to hide her talent.

Nanoha put the girls to bed, they would be sleeping over tonight, she told them it was okay to talk for a while but to stay in bed. Closing the door she then headed to Fate's bedroom, she had to talk to her about what happened at the arcade. She felt Fate start to close up into herself, she was so far away from them by the time they got home she was on autopilot. 'What in the world is she thinking? Please Fate-chan don't torture yourself over this.'

The blonde was standing in her room before the full length mirror attached to the closet door. She was in only her underwear, a sight that had Nanoha running from hot to cold in thirty seconds. Hot because she was so beautiful and so damn sexy. Cold when she realized Fate wasn't seeing the same thing she was, the look of self-loathing on her face made that clear. Nanoha walked in and closed the door quietly, then walked up behind her friend.

"Fate-chan what's the matter? You need to get dressed. You'll catch a cold if you stand around like that."

"I'll need more cosmetic surgery done, I think they should be able to get rid of these scars then I can get back to work."

Her hand was tracing a rough scar that went from her hip down to her knee then the one on her face which went from her hairline at the temple to her eye. Nanoha couldn't hear any inflection in her voice; the burgundy eyes she loved so much were dull.

Swallowing her nerves and praying this was the right thing to say, "Fate-chan you are perfect just the way you are now."

Nanoha clenched her hands into fists to prevent them from gliding up and down the soft skin in front of her. She smiled at her friend through the mirror, trying to make her see reason and love in her eyes and not the burning lust she felt.

If Fate had heard her words they didn't seem to have any effect, "I need to fix these things, the public deserves to have my best, the surgery won't hurt too badly. I should be ready for work in a few months if I get on the ball."

It was like she was talking to someone else, someone who didn't have Fate's best interest at heart. Nanoha realized she'd have to get physical if she wanted to break through Fate's mental fog. Praying once more for self control, 'I'm not doing this for my own satisfaction, I just need to show her she is attractive and doesn't need to go back to performing if she doesn't want too.'

Nanoha stepped in front of Fate, blocking her view of herself in the mirror. She then reached up and placed her left hand onto Fate's face, fingertips running down the scar on her temple then followed the one on her neck down to her shoulder. The touch was light and almost sensual and made Fate's body shudder.

"Fate-chan, listen to me. You are perfect just the way you are now. These scars don't make you any less beautiful, if anything they enhance your beauty, they show how strong you are."

Nanoha leaned forward and kissed the scar on her neck then threading her hands into Fate's hair she pulled her head down and placed a tender kiss on her temple. Fate's breath had become accelerated and her heart was pounding. Her skin tingled where Nanoha's lips touched her and she was now desperate for Nanoha lips to be on her own. So she leaned her head forward as Nanoha pulled away from her face and ever so lightly pressed their lips together. An electric tingle shot through both of them, Nanoha's hands unconsciously tightened in the silky hair and pulled her closer. Fate's own arms went around the shorter woman and pulled her in so their bodies were flush.

Like the first time one kiss lead to another and like the first time they were interrupted.

A small knock on the door and a timid voice, "Mama, may I come in?"

Fate pulled away, sudden realization that she had yet again let her hormones take over left her feeling aghast at her actions. She quickly pulled a long sleep shirt out of the closet and slipped it on before fleeing to the door in a futile effort to escape her raging emotions. Looking down she saw the two girls holding hands, both had guilty looks on their faces.

Tapping down her own feelings of guilt she knelt in front of the girls, "What's wrong? My little pretties shouldn't make such faces."

It was then both girls threw their arms around Fate and started to cry, Einhart was the first to calm down and in a hiccupping voice, "Mama, please don't leave me."

Fate was flummoxed, "Sweet Pea I'm not going anywhere."

Vivio spoke up at this and accused, "Uh huh, you are going to be like Nanoha-mama now, and you'll go away all the time. Who will take care of us then?"

Nanoha heard this and felt a sharp twinge of guilt, she often felt like a bad mother leaving Vivio with her family and friends when she had to go out of town for shoots and now the little girl was taking Fate to task for it.

Fate was surprised by this, "You don't want me to be a performer again? Making movies and singing and dancing on stage?"

Both children shook their heads violently then in perfect synchronization, "No! We don't want to share Fate-mama."

Fate blushed at being called Fate-mama by Vivio, feeling strangely pleased. Then the horrified realization of what going back to being an active performer would cost her seemed to make her blood run cold, how could she abandon _her children_ to go back to the limelight?

Clutching the children tight against her and squeezing her eyes closed to hold back her tears, "I'm not going back to performing. My place is with my family," pulling back to look each girl in the eyes, "you two are my family, you and Nanoha-mama. I promise to be here for you whenever you need me."

Nanoha's heart caught at the declaration, she had been included as family, what did that mean? She'd felt a stabbing jealously run through her when Fate had succumb to the children's words and open affection, they had always seemed to touch her where she could never reach. Was she deluding herself thinking she could ever be more than a friend held at arm's length? Right now it seemed like she had no place in Fate's life, the children were all she needed to be happy, to find the strength to stand on her own two feet. The familiar ache of being the spare, a third wheel, unneeded, filled her. Oh yes she was loved and knew she was important to the ones she loved but why couldn't she be someone's, Fate's, most important person?

Not long after this exchange the children and Fate settled into the extra large king sized bed, Vivio reaching out to her mama so they could all cuddle together. Nanoha felt once more on the outside looking in as she climbed in and saw the two children holding onto Fate. She slid an arm around her daughter and tried to relax but being so close to Fate made her heart hammer. She decided the best thing to do would be to pretend to sleep and once the others fell asleep to slip off and go to sleep in the living room away from the people who so obviously did not need her.

Fate could sense the disquiet rolling off Nanoha, she was in pain and she wasn't quite sure why. She wanted to talk to her but she didn't want to disturb the children anymore than she had already had.

But when she felt Nanoha shift to slid away she caught her arm to hold her still and quietly asked, "Nano-chan, where are you going?"

The warmth of the hand and voice was too much, she sobbed quietly into the pillow. "You don't need me."

Shifting she grasped the warm arm in her hand tighter, pulled it gently in an effort to get Nanoha to turn and look at her. When the woman shook her head and tried to pull away she released her arm, at that the sobs became stronger. Then the bed shifted and as Nanoha tried to curl into a ball and push away she felt something nestle against her other side. Fate had pulled out of the grip of the two sleeping children and had moved to the other side of the wide bed to block Nanoha's escape. Strong warm arms wrapped themselves around the crying woman and pulled her back tight against the front of a longer body.

Fate leaned forward and quietly spoke into a delicate ear, "Nanoha, you are very wrong, I need you, it scares me how desperately I need you. You can have no idea of what you mean to me."

Nanoha wanted to thrash out and escape the hold, she couldn't listen to this, it was a lie, a lie to make her feel better about herself. She had nothing to offer Fate, it had only taken her years to realize it. Fate was and always will be beyond her grasp. She pulled herself into a tighter ball, trying not to disturb the sleeping children when she felt warm soft lips touch her neck. Then the arms around her shifted and a gentle hand came up to her shoulder to turn her over. She was shocked by the intimate touch, Fate had always kept herself under the tightest of control. Only ever accepting, never initiating intimate contact. When their eyes met a flood of arousal swept through Nanoha, burgundy eyes were filled with a look of love and desire. Fate leaned in and captured lips slightly parted and immediately deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue forward to taste and tease.

When they finally broke apart for air, foreheads pressed together Fate finally spoke, "I love you Nanoha, you, just you. I don't deserve you, I'm so messed up inside and out but I don't ever want you to think I don't need you. You are the air I breathe."

Trembling and frightened it was all a dream Nanoha reached out to touch to face in front of her. With infinite care and love she ran her fingers down the faded scars and over to the full lips she wanted to claim again.

"Please don't lie to me Fate-chan, I'd rather you tell me the truth. I know it's the children that are most important to you, not me. As much as I love you I've always known deep down you'd never want me the same way."

Fate felt like she had just been punched, is that what Nanoha had been thinking all this time, is this what she had done to her most important person?

Swallowing back her own pain, "Nanoha, I'm not lying. Yes, I love both of our children very much, your little Vivio has definitely got a strong hold on me but that's because she is so much like you. Looking at her, spending time with her just reinforces my belief in how wonderful you are. A child who had been abandoned and hurt is now happy and loving, secure in the knowledge that she is loved by the greatest person in the world, you. You taught her how to be a caring and loving person. If she had ended up with anyone else as a parent I don't think she'd be anywhere near as happy and open as she is now. You are a blessing, an angel, we can't help but love you."

Leaning forward again she placed a soft kiss on her lips then moved to kiss her cheeks, eyelids and temples.

Then laughing self-deprecatorily softly, "I think your only shortcoming is you fell in love with me, you could do so much better than me. You deserve better than me. I don't know how to love you properly Nanoha. I'll just keep hurting you. I'm so scared Nanoha, scared because I know one day you'll find someone better than me and all I'll have is memories of what could have been. I don't know if I'll be able to survive losing you. It'll probably be the biggest mistake you could make getting involved with me."

Tears were now coming to Fate, she felt so inadequate, all her life she wanted to fall in love and be loved but every time she thought there was a chance it had been stripped from her. From the moment she had set eyes on Nanoha Takamachi she had known the girl was everything she wanted, her heart and soul irrevocably lost to her. The years had not dampened her feelings, hadn't allowed her to even think of another. So when the girl before her shifted and pulled away Fate let her go. She had to, she would rather destroy herself than hurt Nanoha again.


	9. Chapter 9: Double Trouble

**Disclaimer:** I do not claim ownership of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha Series or its Characters.

A/N: Re-edited 10/22, please check out the sequel to this story if you haven't yet. Reviews are always appreciated.

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**Chapter Nine: Double Trouble**

Nanoha had to walk out of the house that night, the range of emotions and thoughts spiraling through her head had left her feeling like a runaway bullet train. She had at once wanted to take Fate, make love to her and banish any feelings of inadequacy she may have, then again she also wanted to whack the woman about the head hard for making her wait so long to hear her say those three precious words and spoiling the moment with her stupid angst. Fearing what she may do, she had to leave and try to make sense of what she had heard.

So when Vivio came home the next day delivered by a very harried Teana she asked where Fate was with more than a hint of trepidation. The girl looked like she was ready to cry or curse, "That idiot Ginga uploaded a video of Fate-san at the arcade, the house is surrounded by reporters, she's stuck in there until the official press release regarding Fate-san resuming her acting or singing career. The company is getting calls from all over requesting her services for concerts and movie offers. Lindy's back at the office now trying to do damage control. If Fate really does decline these offers it could have a serious impact on what jobs our performers could receive, she is the face of TCJ and her "avoiding" the spot light will leave a bad taste in a lot of mouths."

The next three weeks Nanoha did not see Fate, as much as she and Vivio wanted to see the woman there was no way. Once she got clear of the house the second day after her arcade "performance" video went viral she had not returned. Einhart was staying with Lindy and Precia and hadn't seen her mother in days. When things finally settled down again Fate had become distant and moody once more. Not even Einhart or Vivio was able to move her, when the girl saw Fate picking up Einhart she was like a stranger giving the little girl barely a nod of acknowledgment. Fate had crawled back into herself much like she was right after the accident but now much more remote.

No one knew what was going on with her, no one could even get her to admit something was wrong. Then she accepted her first job, a charity concert scheduled for the end of December, her only stipulation was five of her other performers be also included in the event. Einhart cried and called her mother a liar, accused her of going away and no longer loving her. Fate had for the first time spoke the words her own grandmother had used on her, "Enough Einhart! It is our duty to use our talents, to further our company with these talents, we cannot be so selfish as to hide our light."

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Fate was in her office, the door was locked and the lights off, her head pounded and she felt empty. She had stood so close to having what she wanted, Nanoha, a family of her own, a quiet life where she could pursue her true passion, art and writing. Then like a house of cards it fell to pieces, she had every intension of refusing the job offers, of flinging back in everyone's faces her distain for the spot light and their petty fame. But then she also saw the veiled threats, if she did not rejoin the world of performing her company would be ruined, no one would hire her people, no one would support their productions. So she folded, she gave them what they wanted, and the disappointment in her daughter's eyes, in Vivio's eyes, had cut her to the core, she had nothing.

A knock on the door disturbed her moment of self-pity. She got up turned on the lights and opened the door. Standing in the frame was the woman who had ruined her life, Nakajima Ginga, she wanted to hit her, curse her but she was already defeated so what did it matter now? "Yes Nakajima-san, what do you need?"

Fidgeting she looked up at the woman she felt so much admiration and sexual attraction for, she had wanted to be her lover from the moment it was revealed in the media Fate was a lesbian but now it seemed there would be no chance of that. "I came to apologize, I didn't realize what would happen when I uploaded that video, I just meant to show my friends and it just got out of control."

Fate's eyes were dull, she didn't want to hear excuses and most definitely didn't want to see this girl, "Apology accepted now please leave, I have a lot of work to do."

The door closed and Ginga stood there shocked at the reply, she had thought Fate would yell at her, try to fire her for what she had done but in the end she had been dismissed. She grabbed a hold of the door knob and pushed her way in, standing at the window was the blonde she sought. She had to get some kind of response, she had heard about her change in demeanor over the past few weeks and if only she could reach this woman maybe it would all turn out alright. She walked over and pushed herself in front of her, grabbed her face between her hands, "Please if you are upset then yell at me, don't do this to yourself. I love you Fate-san and I want to make you happy not miserable."

Indifference suddenly turned into rage, Fate caught the girl by the throat and pushed her against the window, "You don't know me, you don't love me, I am an icon, what you think you know is nothing but an act. Don't you ever come near me again."

She shook the girl once then released her before walking out of her office. Fate found herself in the workout room, kicking off her shoes she began to punch and kick the punching bag hanging from the ceiling. It wasn't long before the seams began to split with the force of her blows, her hands were bleeding and raw. When the sand began to spill out of the bag she finally stopped, stumbling to the showers. She stripped and walked into the hot water and allowed herself to cry, she didn't want this life, and for the first time she wished that she had died with her sister. She had raged at god and heaven for leaving her behind a near cripple but had accepted it as punishment for her sins, her evil thoughts and urges. Then Nanoha had reentered her life and she began to think she was left behind because she still had living to do, those vague goals and secret wishes were now to be fulfilled. Grasping the towel bar she vomited, she really was a monster, god or whatever supreme power there was out there wasn't done punishing her yet. She had to learn to control her emotions, her vices, be what the world wanted, what her grandparents had trained her to be, the perfect star, she had to atone.

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_**Fate Testarossa &amp; Company Live**_

_**One Night Only**_

_**December 24**__**th**__**, 20XX, 7pm-10pm**_

_**Concert Tickets Starting at 10,000¥**_

_**All Proceeds to go to Save the Children Foundation**_

Fate was in the dressing room, applying the heavy stage makeup that would cover up her scars during her performance, she hadn't had time to get the cosmetic surgery done yet but that would come soon. She hadn't seen her daughter in over a week, and was contemplating signing over guardianship to Precia. Her mother could take the girl back to France and there she could live a normal life. She wanted so badly to run away, but she knew the world was now watching again, her fans were waiting. It had shocked her that she was still getting offers for romantic roles despite having come out but then again she hadn't had an open relationship with a woman so maybe people didn't believe her.

She looked over her outfit, checked the microphone clip and decided there wasn't anything else she could do but face her audience. Striding to the wings and picking up the microphone pack and sliding it into place she could hear the mutters of the crowd impatient for the show to begin. She looked over to the other side of the wings and saw Subaru and Ginga, they would be performing with her first. She had broken up each set so a different performer could join her. She hadn't wanted Ginga but she wasn't going to hold back Subaru's career just because she loathed her sister. The lights came up and the music began, Fate steeled herself and took a running start before starting her gymnastic set of flips and turns onto the stage.

Nanoha watched from the audience as Fate sang and danced, her movements swift and fluid. She had the two girls with her, it was her hope that after the show they could gang up on Fate and convince her to come home. After the final set was completed the audience began to scream for an encore, the whole ensemble came out and each sang a line of one of Fate's most popular songs, then the blonde came back on to sing the chorus. People were jumping up on their seats singing along, the energy in the auditorium was palpable, finally the last note was sung and just as the crowd was applauding Ginga ran over to Fate and kissed her soundly on the lips. Flash photography caught the moment in all its glory.

Fate controlled her temper, she didn't push the girl off or strike her for her audacity. Instead she smiled and went over to each of the other members of her ensemble and kissed each one on the lips. Turning to the crowd she brought both her hands to her lips and then blew a kiss to them before walking off the stage. But no photographer caught the real aftermath, no vengeful god could have struck someone down as hard. Ginga had just signed her own career's death warrant with her actions, the ice cold fury and quiet words of reprimand were all Fate allowed herself but it was enough to frighten the girl. Ginga was now suspended, she would not be allowed back into the TCJ Headquarters building or any other of their facilities.

_The Kiss Seen Around the World_ as it was being called was now causing a great deal of problems for Fate's career. Many of the jobs she had been offered before were now being rescinded much to her delight, she laughed at the double faced nature of her profession. 'Maybe this isn't a total disaster' she thought to herself when her job offers began to decline but her other performers stayed the same. Then Ginga did an interview, without company permission.

"_I have a deep love for Fate-san, she is an excellent mother, company president, and performer. Her kind and open nature makes it hard for anyone not to care for her. We are currently not in a relationship but that is my goal. Right now I am currently under a suspension due to my actions at the concert, Fate-san is very cognizant of propriety, if I have to resign my position within the company in order to have a relationship with her then I will gladly do so."_

When the article was brought to her attention Fate saw red, and Teana cried. Teana had been feeling guilty about the whole situation for weeks, she was the one who signed the sisters and had taken them out that night. She single handily destroyed her adopted sister's life with her actions.

Fate listened to her apologies and sighed, "You are not responsible for other people's actions Tea-chan, the only one I blame is Ginga at this point. I can't even blame myself, I should have known better than to play on that arcade game in public. I should have known better than to include Ginga in the charity concert knowing how she feels about me. But in the end Ginga made her own decisions on how to act and I am now living with the consequences. That last action of hers had actually taken some of the pressure off me so while I'm not happy about the kiss I will not begrudge her it. If only she had kept her mouth closed and not given that interview I would have forgiven her and allowed her to come back to the company, now I can't."

Fate called Ginga into her office two days later and requested her resignation, when the girl asked if Fate would go on one date with her if she did so she got a flat refusal. Ginga then declined to give her resignation, Fate would have to find grounds to fire her, she would not walk away from her only chance to be close to the blonde. Fate was ready to spit nails at that point and told her to stay away from her company, herself and her family. And if she gave one more interview without permission she would be in violation of her contract a third time which would allow Fate to terminate said contract. Ginga then pointed out that Fate still owed her at least three more projects within the stipulated time frame of her contract or it would automatically be extended until such time as it was fulfilled and she would be paid a substantial amount of money for each month the contract was extended as a penalty.

In a quiet voice Fate replied, "You will get your remaining projects, and they will be of my choosing. Now Nakajima-san please remove yourself from my building until you are called for."

Ginga was now fearful of what kind of jobs Fate would assign her, feeling it was smarter to leave than further antagonize her employer she left with a deferential, "Yes Testarossa-sama, I look forward to any job you will assign me."

Fate knew better than to assign the girl any job that could be seen as a punishment, she did not want there to be any grounds for a legal suit later. So she carefully chose jobs that would fit Ginga's particular abilities, not paying attention to who would be her co-stars. A week later she sent her a packet with the script and instructions to report for duty. The job was a guest star on an evening mini-serial drama and she would be playing against Takamachi Nanoha. A woman Ginga sorely envied for her close relationship with Fate.

The cast had already been together for a two weeks and Ginga was only going to be part of the production for a week so she wasn't immediately taken into anyone's confidence. She was expected to make her marks and perform then get off the set. Everyone knew Nanoha had some kind of a relationship with Fate Testarossa and the interloper Ginga was not someone who could take Nanoha's place, at least no one who wanted to avoid having the White Devil stomping on them said otherwise.

Ginga did all she could to ingratiate herself with the director and writer, hoping to get her character more time on the screen. She tried her best to get people to open up with her but no one was willing to infuriate Nanoha. The auburn haired woman had gone cold and silent when Ginga's inclusion in the production had been announced a bad sign to anyone who knew her. But being the professional she was she did not set out to sabotage the girl, she just did her scenes with her then left the set. At least until Ginga decided to confront her.

Knocking on the door of Nanoha's dressing room and getting a clipped, "come in", she entered the room and closed the door. The woman was sitting on the ground stretching and was only half dressed. Ginga immediately began to compare their body types trying to convince herself she was the one better suited to Fate. Nanoha's body was sleek and finely muscled, with a thin layer of fat that allowed her curves to be more accented and attractive. Breasts were full and firm but not voluptuous. Skin was a pale pink and smooth with no blemishes. Auburn hair had a gentle wave to it looking soft and smooth. Her finely featured face showed she was more accustomed to smiling then frowning, a cheerful spirit residing within. She was the epitome of feminine beauty, yet not overwhelming in a glamorous way. Ginga felt the ground shift beneath her, this was the woman who had caught Fate's attention and no matter what she did she now knew she could not compete with her. They were worlds apart in their essential nature.

A thin eyebrow shot up and with a carefully neutral voice Nanoha asked, "What can I do for you Nakajima-san?"

Caught off guard she let the one question haunting her fall from her lips, "Do you love her?"

Nanoha knew immediately who she was talking about, she had spent the last three days comparing herself to Ginga and wondering what the true nature of her relationship with Fate was. Deciding not to beat around the bush she answered, "I've been in love with her since I was sixteen. She has always been the one I wanted, but things never seemed to work out."

Ginga's mind was in a whirl, 'Does that mean there was nothing romantic going on between Fate and Nanoha?' She quickly snapped back, "So are you just going to let her go? Is she fair game?"

Nanoha jumped up to her feet, Ginga was slightly taller than her but their eyes could meet quite well. "You don't know the first thing about Fate Testarossa, she is not _fair game!_ You are just another groupie seeing the image. She doesn't need you to cause her anymore trouble, so stay away from her."

"How are you going to stop me? I have to see her again soon, we have a date." That was more than a lie, she was banned from headquarters but Nanoha didn't know that.

"If you hurt her more than you already have I will make sure you regret it for the rest of your life. She is my best friend and I will not stand by and watch as you destroy what little happiness she has left." Nanoha's face was now rigid with anger, if she thought Ginga could make Fate happy she _might_ have backed down but she could clearly see the girl knew nothing of Fate's emotional state.

Ginga was confused by the words, she had hurt Fate? How, when? "What do you mean by hurting her further? I know I made a mistake by uploading that video but she seems to be over that now."

Nanoha couldn't believe the denseness of the girl, "Fate was happy with the life she had, she was about to resign her role as president of TCJ and go back to being a graphic artist and song writer. She loved her quiet life, she doesn't like the limelight, and you were the one to drag her back into that. She had no choice but accept jobs if she wanted to protect her company and its performers. You really are an idiot! You think she's happy with being separated from her daughter? She is signing over guardianship to her mother so Einhart can live a normal life away from the media circus she's living with now."

Nanoha's hands had grabbed a hold of Ginga's shirt front shaking the girl in time with her words. Tears had come to her eyes as she thought of what Fate had lost all because the girl in front of her.

"What?! Her daughter, she's giving her up? How do you know this?" Ginga's face a picture of horrified shock.

"How do I know? I'm her best friend, I talk to her family nearly every day. My daughter is Einhart's best friend, she's devastated by the knowledge her best friend is leaving to live in France. Fate has cut herself off from everyone that loves her, not her mothers, Einhart, Teana, her cousin Arf or I can reach her. You did that, I hope you're happy."

Nanoha knew she had said more than she should have, she had let the ignorance of the girl in front of her shake her self control more than it should. Letting her go, "Get out. I don't want to see your face again unless we are on set."

The girl stumbled out of the room, her mind tumbling with the knowledge reveled to her. 'What have I done?'

Ginga finished her work two days later and never tried to speak to Nanoha directly again. She had called Teana and confirmed much of what Nanoha had said and that confirmation left her feeling shattered. She didn't know what to do, she had to make things right again. So she enlisted her sister in hopes that between them they could find a way to atone for her errors.

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Fate was out with Cinder Productions President Mamoto Noriko having dinner, the woman was sophisticated and beautiful, and a complete bore to Fate. She was looking into a joint venture with TCJ and personally hoping to score. Fate tried to be polite and amenable but the "date" was dragging on. Finally she stated, "I'm sorry Mamoto-san it's getting late and I have an early appointment tomorrow. Please send over the contract with the details we discussed and I'll be happy to sign. Please have a good night, I'll take care of the bill on my way out."

She hailed a cab once outside and was taken back to her hotel. She hadn't seen anyone other than Teana for the past few weeks, she hadn't bothered to avoid the girl as she didn't have the force of will or intimate knowledge of her to make her change course. Fate was exhausted and knew soon she'd be restarting her career in earnest again but for now she wanted one night where she didn't have to think or feel. She went to the wet bar in her suite and poured herself out a drink then another and another. She was well on her way to being drunk when there was a knock on her door.

Looking through the peephole she groaned, "How did she find me?"

She turned away from the door and ignored the caller. The knocking continued and the noise was giving her a headache. Finally she tore open the door and the woman banging on her door tumbled into the room. Green eyes took in the state of her host, slacks rumpled, silk dress shirt half unbuttoned, blonde hair a tumbled mess, the strong scent of liquor on her breathe. Burgundy eyes looked at her with contempt, "What do you want?"

"I have a message from your family, I…we all want you to go home. You don't have to sacrifice yourself, please just go home." The girl's voice was full of pleading.

"Message received, now go away." A hand pushed against Ginga's shoulder and she was soon back in the hallway, no other response was given to her plea before the door was shut.

Ginga camped out in the hallway, waiting for morning, she would get through to the woman even if it killed her. So when the door opened at dawn and the blonde stepped out carrying her luggage she was hopeful that meant she was going home. She followed the silent woman down the hall to the elevator where the atmosphere became tense. "Are you going home now?"

"I'm headed to the airport, I don't have a home, I never have and never will. So stop following me or I'll call the police." Then she stepped into the elevator and was swallowed up when the doors closed.

**Valentine's Day**

Fate arrived at the TCJ party late, Teana was supposed to be the host for the event, she was to be just another guest. The slinky silk black dress she wore left little to the imagination and every man and most of the women were looking at her hungrily. She picked up a glass of champagne and made the rounds of greeting the other guests. Everyone could sense the dangerous tension in her, daring them to speak about her personal life.

Fate had spent the past two months working incessantly, hoping from one set to another, making appearances at various concerts and events. Her behavior off stage was becoming erratic, having gotten involved in more than one dispute with other performers when she felt they weren't being "professional" enough. She expected everyone around her to be at their peak, anything less was taken as a personal offense. There were rumors also of her drinking heavily, she never came to set drunk but she was losing weight and there were other little signs that the woman was teetering on the edge.

Nanoha had been invited to the event by Teana in hopes she could reach the stubborn blonde and she was searching for the elusive blonde in the crowd. She had called her friend leaving messages and had asked Teana to forward on her verbal request they see each other at the party but had received no reply. When Nanoha finally spotted Fate she was looking over her prospectives and would walk by those she saw getting out of line to give them not to subtle warnings to behave themselves. She had finally allowed her grandparents training to come forth, she was now the Dark Angel who would not stand for anything but perfection.

So when Ginga began to start drinking heavily while staring at Fate from across the room everyone sensed trouble coming. Fate made her way over to the girl and in a gesture of possessiveness took the half filled glass from her to drain it. She then leaned forward and whispered in her ear so no one could hear her words.

"You want my attention you've got it. Now I'll be taking you home. No arguments, understand me," Fate growled in her ear.

The girl swayed and seemed dazed by what Fate had said to her, so Fate took hold of her arm and lead her out of the ballroom. Nanoha saw the gestures and was unsure what to make of them, had they started a relationship after all, is that why Fate was now avoiding her?

Fate left Ginga at her apartment having called the girl's parents to come watch over their intoxicated child. Once they arrived she left and made her way back to her office. She didn't want to deal with people, she didn't want their eyes on her when her soul was so tattered. That's when she got the call from Arf, surprised to hear her office phone ring she had picked it up without thinking. "Hello, Testarossa speaking."

"You're fired." The words were spoken without malice.

"Huh? Who is this?"

"This is Arf and I repeat you are fired, get out of the building."

Fate gave a hollow laugh, "You and what army is going to get me to leave? I own the majority share of Testarossa Corp, you can't fire me."

"That's where you are wrong, I can fire any performer on staff who fails to meet expectations or shows a history of instability. And you my dear cousin are unstable, you are unfit for duty. If you push me on this I'll have you committed." The tone was still not adversarial and was calm as if Arf was merely stating facts.

Fate looked at the receiver in her hands. This had to be a joke, a dream, how much had she drunk tonight? In a broken voice, "You're kidding me right?"

"No Fate, I'm dead serious, you are no longer a part of Testarossa Corp, your shares have been converted to non-voting ones until we feel you have regained your mental and emotional health. You will receive your dividend checks as always but will not be sought by anyone for your opinion or assistance within the company. And don't worry about TCJ, I've sent my VP Linith to handle things until a new president can be found, so I don't want to hear any excuses, get out of the building, now."

"Ah-ha, ha..." choking then she swallowed, before whispering, "How?" the word was spoken like a pray.

"I read and reread the Articles of Incorporation bylaws for our company, looking for anything to set you free. You are technically a free agent now, I recommend you take some time to decide what you want to do with your life."

In a voice broken with emotion, "Thank you, I'm so sorry it had to come to this. But thank you Arf, I love you."

"I love you too Sweet Pea, now go home and get some rest. Einhart is waiting for you."

Fate hung up the phone and cried like a child in her seat, she was free, Arf had taken all the responsibility away from her, she had shut the door in the faces of those who wanted to use her. 'Thank you cousin, I promise I won't waste your sacrifice.'

_Story from JWOW Entertainment Web News_

_TCJ loses Fate_

_TCJ spokesperson Verossa Acous released an announcement today that TCJ President Fate Testarossa has been officially relieved of duty as of midnight last night due to ongoing medical issues. Twenty-eight year old Fate Testarossa is widely known to be the majority share holder of TCJ and its parent company TCUSA and often called the Crowned Princess of the Entertainment Industry as the heiress for company President Arf Testarossa-Wolkenritter. With this news the entertainment industry is left wondering who will succeed to the head of the company when Mrs. Testarossa-Wolkenritter makes her scheduled step down in two years time as directed in prior President Theodore S. Testarossa's Will. We will note if she fails to step down she will lose all her inherited shares of TCUSA and access to any and all Testarossa family properties for life. At this time Mrs. Arf Testarossa-Wolkenritter is considered one of the top twenty wealthiest people in the U.S. and that is based largely on her inheritance. _

_Per the Testarossa Corp bylaws only a Testarossa can inherit the mantle of President, and at this time none of the new generation Testarossas are old enough to inherit the position. Russell (7) and Baxter (5) Testarossa-Wolkenritter, and Einhart S. Testarossa-Harlaown (6) are at this time the only eligible heirs but only upon reaching their majority of 18. So this writer and the rest of the world want to know, who will be the next President of Testarossa Corp? The answer will have profound effects on the entertainment industry and a number of other related industries. We can only hope whatever is ailing Fate Testarossa can be healed before the step down deadline as the only other option would be to search Italy for a long lost cousin and no one wants to pin their hopes on an untrained dark horse._


	10. Chapter 10: Ghosts of the Past

**Disclaimer:** I do not claim ownership of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha Series or its Characters.

A/N: Re-edited 10/22, please check out the sequel to this story if you haven't yet. Reviews are always appreciated.

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***** Warning this chapter will have a lemon scene, please enjoy. *****

**Chapter Ten: Ghosts of the Past**

Fate went home that night and apologized to her daughter, her mothers and other family members for her behavior. She slept in her own bed for the first time in weeks with her child snuggled up next to her. When she awoke the next day she cooked breakfast and spent the day catching up on her daughter's life. Fate wanted to see Nanoha desperately but was unsure how to go about it. So much time had passed since they had last spoke and Fate remembered vividly the kisses they had shared. She had to make a go at this, she needed Nanoha in her life. She had gone nearly insane without her.

So Fate decided to wait for Nanoha to pick up Vivio from school and invite her back to the house so they could talk. When the sapphire eyed woman saw Fate leaning against the school entrance with Einhart and Vivio standing beside her she didn't know what to do. She wanted so badly to believe they could be together but was frightened of Fate leaving her again if her past came back to haunt her. Every time she thought things were progressing towards them finally coming together something tore them apart. Nanoha wasn't sure her heart was up to loving Fate anymore.

Vivio hopped over to her mama and with a big grin, "Mama, Fate-san wants us to come over for dinner, can we please?"

"Uh, I don't know Vivio-chan, I…we shouldn't intrude, I'm sure Fate-san and Einhart-chan have a lot of catching up to do."

Fate pushed off the wall, she reached out to Nanoha cupping her face, "I would really like it if you and Vivio would come over for dinner, I've missed all of you very much."

"Um…okay," the hesitancy and uncertainty in her voice making Fate feel like a heel.

Fate cooked a meal for her family and then they played games together, the happy laughter of the children taking the place of conversation. Once it got late she sent them to sleep in Einhart's room. Both children happy to be reunited and in the knowledge that Einhart was not going to be sent away. Fate sat on the couch and looked Nanoha in the eye, "I'm sorry, I've been an idiot. I let the past control me, I hurt you and the girls so much."

She slid to the ground and on her knees before Nanoha and begged, "Please Nanoha, don't give up on me, I love you. I have so many issues from my childhood but I swear to you I will always love you. I have always loved you, from the time we first met. You are the only one I want to be with."

Taking her hands in her own and rubbing the backs with her thumbs, "Nanoha, I know you love me. I don't say that out of arrogance or pride. I say it because from the first time we set eyes on each other we both felt it. Love, plain and simple, in all its painful and awkward ways has been tormenting both of us. Both of us trying desperately to control our emotions and being so obvious about it that our friends and family have been teasing us about it for nearly a decade. Don't you think it's time to stop fighting it? I am so tired of running away from you when all I want is to be with you. Today, tomorrow, ten years from now, and god willing seventy years from now, all I'll ever want is you."

Nanoha was afraid of the words, she so wanted them to be true, she wanted Fate so badly it hurt to breathe. "If you really love me then prove it."

Fate was surprised by this response but was more than willing to do anything to prove her devotion and love, "Anything you want, everything I am, all I have is yours."

With a faint blush she boldly requested, "Then make love to me all night, and then in the morning I want you to take me and the girls out to somewhere very public and kiss me. I want you to announce to the world that you belong to me."

Fate blushed at her words but was more than willing to meet these requirements, "Okay, I love you and I want the world to know it too."

Fate stood up and without a second wasted scooped up Nanoha from her place on the couch and carried her to her bedroom. Gently laying her on the bed then went back to the door to lock it. She dimmed the lights before coming back to the bed, her heart pounding in her ears, eyes glued to the woman laying quietly on her bed. "Scoot in a little Nanoha, I don't want you to fall off the bed," Nanoha blushed at the words, 'She really means to go through with this.'

She scooted in towards the middle of the oversized bed and Fate climbed into the bed next to her. Fate's hand was trembling as she reached out to touch her face, frightened at the prospect of disappointing the woman she loved, desperate to maintain control so she could show her how much she loved her. Nanoha saw her trembling and wondered at it, how could someone so beautiful be scared? 'Doesn't she see how much I want her?' "Fate-chan, kiss me."

She leaned forward and hovering over her she placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Their lips melted together, mouths opened and tongues collided. Fate's hand went from her face down her neck then caressed down her arm leaving goose bumps in her wake. Then she found the edge of Nanoha's shirt and lifted the cloth in order to reach the smooth warm skin beneath. Tentative strokes on her stomach caused the muscles to tighten, soft moans to erupt muffled by their kissing. Fate teased the skin just below the bra then allowed her hand to brush up and down the silk clad mounds. She could feel Nanoha's nipples harden under her touch and suddenly the want to taste her became unbearable. Moving her mouth from hers she trailed kisses down her neck then pulled away long enough to remove the blouse and went back to kissing her collarbone and the soft skin of her sternum.

Nanoha gasped at the tender nips and kisses the blonde was placing on her exposed flesh, she wanted more, she wanted her mouth on her breasts and down lower where she ached. "Please Fate-chan, don't tease me, touch me, take me."

Fate lowered her head further and nuzzled against her breasts, flicking her tongue against the nipples through the fabric before gently nipping them with her lips. Nanoha arched up under her and gasped at the new sensation. Groaning, "I said stop teasing, I want you!"

Fate chuckled at the demand, her Nanoha wasn't going to be shy about what she wanted. Reaching under her lover she unclipped the bra and pulled it away from full globes. Fate held herself above her lover and looked down at her naked torso. Whispering, "So beautiful," she reached down and skimmed with the tips of her fingers the taunt nipples before lowering her mouth to take one in and massage the other with her free hand.

The hot mouth suckling at her was making it hard to think straight, to keep her voice down, Nanoha wanted to scream from the pleasure and happiness bursting through her. She wanted to touch the blonde to give her the same pleasure, to show her love but all she could do was tangle her hands into her soft locks and hold her tight. Then Fate's mouth left her breasts and began to kiss down her stomach, her tongue flicking in and out of her navel before reaching the next barrier.

Fate sat up on her knees and reached for the pants fastenings, quickly undoing the button and zipper then she slid down to the bottom of the bed pulling the pants off at the same time. Fate felt overheated and ripped off her own shirt, pants and undergarments before climbing back onto the bed. She hovered once more over the delicate planes of the woman beneath her letting their breasts brush against each other, sensitive peaks rubbing. Then she settled her weight down so that she could feel Nanoha along her full length, overheated skin rubbing.

Nanoha was getting frustrated with the slowness, she wanted Fate to touch her _there_, to remove that last barrier between them and mark her as her own. So she flipped them over so she was on top, looking down at the blonde sprawled out under her sent a thrill of sexual power through her. Burgundy eyes were nearly black with desire. A deep flush colored the normally porcelain skin, chest heaving in excitement, Fate would belong to her now. Nanoha reached for the full breasts and began to massage and tease the erect nipples, eliciting mewls of pleasure. She then shifted so she was straddling one of the blonde's thighs and pushed her own knee into her wet heat. Fate gasped at the pressure then began to rub herself against it in an attempt to assuage the throbbing ache at her center. Feeling the moist heat and friction against her made Nanoha's desire surge and she began to rub against the thigh between her legs. Fate feeling her she lifted her leg, planting her foot to secure it in place so she could support Nanoha's weight as she rode her leg.

Fate's hands trailed up and down her back to her hips to pull her tighter against her leg, it wasn't long before both needed more simulation. Fate turned them over again and then pulled Nanoha down to the bottom of the bed. Kneeling at the edge she pulled her panties down, soaking wet with her arousal. The sweet scent enticing, making Fate's mouth water in anticipation. She took her first tentative taste, licking the moist lips to collect the honey coating. Nanoha arched and gasped. Hands grasping the sheets as she tried to control her swelling passion. The licking became faster and more aggressive as Fate heard each moan and sigh, she wanted her woman to enjoy this, to pleasure her.

Finally she spread her petals gently before sliding up one finger up and down the length of her slit, dipping slightly into the moist opening before reaching up for the pulsing clitoris. The whimpered pleas and shuddering hips making it impossible for Fate to refuse her the final connection. Fate positioned her digit at the tight wet opening before capturing the hard clit in her mouth sucking gently as she pushed herself in. Nanoha thrust her hips forward forcing the finger deep inside penetrating her hymen in one swift movement. She gasped in pain and pleasure as Fate began to slowly rub her finger in and out finding her sensitive spots and suckling harder on her clit.

"Fate, hand, please…I'm coming," she moaned reaching out for her free hand.

Their fingers intertwined as Fate began to pumping her finger faster and deeper into her lover. Each soft cry making it harder to concentrate, she wanted to consume the woman before her, she wanted to crawl in under her skin and become one. She slid one more finger in and as she pulled out began to curl her fingers, the added sensation pushing her over the edge. She came hard and long, sweet juices flowing down Fate's hand. Fate didn't stop pleasuring her love but kept pushing in and suckling her so as one orgasm finished another started rocking her and leaving Nanoha completely weak. When the second orgasm finished Fate began to lick up the sweet fluid and gently extracted herself.

Looking over her exhausted lover she smiled, "I love you Nanoha, I want you so much, so don't think I'm done with you yet."

Nanoha opened her eyes at this and saw the predatory gleam in her eyes and shivered. Then she was shrouded in a curtain of blonde hair and warm lips were claiming her again. Fate made love to her again and again, touching her in places no one had ever explored, leaving kiss marks and in her passion teeth marks on the tender skin of her lover. Nanoha was shocked at the persistence, the insatiability of her lover, even as she tried to pleasure her, Fate would do all she could to touch and tease back. When morning finally came they were wrapped up in each other's arms, completely exhausted and sated.

Fate woke to the sound of cartoons playing, the girls were up and watching television in the living room, the TV on much too loud. She shifted and was caught in a tight squeeze, looking down she saw Nanoha was snuggled in against her breasts, arms wrapped around her. Fate felt a surge of arousal and happiness fill her. She had Nanoha, they would be together forever, after knowing the pleasure of holding and loving this woman she would never let her go. Leaning down she kissed her temple and began to nuzzle her cheek against her hair.

Nanoha opened her eyes and found herself pressed into a naked cleavage, not thinking she placed kisses on the flesh leaving a small kiss mark just above Fate's pounding heart. Then she pulled away to capture the sweet mouth that had been making such cute gasps as she had worked on her chest. After a deep kiss they parted, Nanoha looking into the burgundy eyes she loved so much and found love and contentment in them. She smiled and stretched up to kiss each eyelid before pulling away. "Well, Fate-chan what are we doing today?"

Fate was in a daze, she had awoken with the woman of her dreams and said woman had just kissed her so soundly thought was impossible. "Hmm," was all she could reply as she leaned over again for another kiss.

Nanoha pulled away from the kiss and roaming hands with a laugh, "Mou, Fate-chan didn't you get enough last night. We have to get up now."

Nanoha wanted to give in to the touches and kisses but knew the children were awake and they needed to get up to make breakfast and explain their new relationship. Standing up she walked over to her discarded clothing and then gathered them up, before going into the shower she leaned over one more time to kiss Fate who was pouting.

That may not have been a wise decision as Fate pulled her back into the bed and her hands once more skimmed up her naked torso. "Fate-chan, please…we need to get up now, the girls…ah!"

Fate had bent her head to take in a nipple and was now sucking the sensitive tip, pulling away when she heard the little cry to catch her mouth. She then slid a hand to Nanoha heated center, cupping it at first rubbing the outer lips before spreading them and pushing two fingers in the heat. Nanoha arched in her arms and Fate captured the moans with her mouth as she pumped her fingers in and out making circular motions. Nanoha's arms went around her to hold tight as she felt herself being pushed over the edge. When the final convulsions settled Fate pulled her hand free and began to clean her fingers, sucking the nectar she was fast becoming addicted too.

Nanoha opened her eyes to this and felt her face flush, 'Fate-chan is insatiable,' the only thought coming to mind. She gently slapped her shoulder before pulling away, "I can't believe you did that, the girls could have heard us!"

Before she could leave the bed Fate's arms were around her waist and her face pressed to her neck, "I'm sorry Nanoha but I had too, you are so beautiful I can't help myself, I need to touch you."

She turned her head and kissed her forehead, "I love you Fate-chan, I love the way you touch me. But we need to have some self control. I'm really working hard right now to keep myself from returning the favor."

Fate pulled away and looking into the sapphire eyes that mesmerized her, seeing the truth of that statement, they were hazy with lust and love. With puppy eyes and a pouty voice, "Let's take a shower together, and I promise once we get out I'll keep my hands to myself…mostly."

Nanoha laughed at this, "Hmm? You better behave yourself in public, I don't want to be arrested for public indecency."

Fate grinned at this, then her face softened, "Honestly Nanoha, I want to keep pleasuring you for as long as possible before having to behave myself in public. I can't promise to keep my hands completely to myself because that would be like telling me not to breathe. So please take a shower with me, let me love you for just a little bit longer?"

Nanoha's eyes widened at the request and before she knew what was happening was being pulled into the shower. Once more soft hands and a hot mouth were on her. Once more she was succumbing to the pleasure only Fate could give her. After her second orgasm Fate finally allowed Nanoha to catch her breath. When she saw Fate's Cheshire cat grin she decided it was time she put her lover in her place. She pushed her against the shower wall and began her own erotic assault. Ten minutes later Fate was a shuddering mess in Nanoha's arms.

"Now Fate-chan do you promise to behave yourself or do I need to punish you again," she said with a cocky grin.

Looking up into her eyes she smiled, "I think I need to be punished a few more times. I really haven't learned my lesson."

Nanoha laughed, "Mou Fate-chan who knew you'd be a nymphomaniac."

"Uh-uh, I just can't get enough of you, I have been dreaming of this for years. Now that I have you I don't want to let go. I want to… I need to make up for all the lost time. I should haven't have been such an idiot, I should have move to Japan right after my accident and been with you."

Nanoha felt tears come to her eyes, "Sweetie, you don't have to make up for anything, we have our entire lives to be together. Nyahaha besides I don't want you to get tired of me, we need to pace ourselves."

Fate hugged her, "I'd sooner get tired of breathing but you're right I need to control myself. I'm just so scared at this happiness. I've never felt anything like it. I don't want to lose it."

Petting her face Nanoha said, "Sweetie I'm not going anywhere, I will never let you go. You have to believe that, I've waited for this since I was sixteen, now that I have you you're trapped."

"Good because there is nowhere else in the world I'd rather be."

True to her word Fate took Nanoha and the girls out and quite happily kissed Nanoha many times during their outing at a local amusement park. She held her possessively and flirted quite blatantly to the point of Nanoha blushing and having to tell her to behave with a soft kiss. Nanoha knew she had to be careful of Fate's feelings if she made her feel like she had done something wrong the woman would likely beat herself up about it. The last thing she wanted was for Fate to ever question her feelings for her.

The girls were happy at the change in their mothers' relationship, both could see how happy they both were and if they married then they really would be sisters. Their outing was one of laughing and a celebration of their families coming together. When the day was over they all returned to Fate's house where they all changed into sleepwear and spend the last few hours before sleep cuddling on the couch watching TV. Fate laughed at the pile of bodies trying to climb upon her, Nanoha was settled between her legs and the children leaned in on her from both sides. She was so happy she could have cried at the warmth a love surrounding her.

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Four glorious months passed as Fate was settling into the comfortable routine of her new life, awakening with Nanoha wrapped in her arms, family breakfast, taking the children to school, working on her artwork, picking up the children, eating dinner as a family, and finally going back to bed with her love, life was perfect. Nanoha and Vivio having all but moved into the blonde's home, though Nanoha had to spend a few nights away from them due to the occasional out of town shoot which made the auburn haired woman moody and disgruntled, she didn't want to ever be apart from her blonde lover. It was decided by Nanoha she would sell her house soon and permanently reside with Fate almost within the first week of their "dating." But the process of moving bulky personal items and deciding what furniture would be kept and putting the house on the market wasn't very high on anyone's list when their spare time could be spent in more pleasurable ways.

Then the past reared its ugly head once more, Fate was making dinner when she got a phone call from Arf. "Sweet Pea, there's a problem..."

When Nanoha arrived home that night Fate was packing her suitcase and Lindy and Precia were already at the house trying to calm Fate. Confused she asked, "What's going on?"

Fate had a look of utter fury on her face as she was stuffing clothing into the suitcase. "Nanoha-love I have to go to California for a while, I'll call you when I arrive. There's a family emergency and I am the only who can resolve this."

"Wait Fate-chan I thought you weren't going to have anything to do with your family's company, Arf can handle this."

Fate's eyes were bleak with despair, almost groaning she said, "This has nothing to do with the company, this is about my daughter." Then she snapped her mouth closed, she hadn't meant to say it so boldly.

"You have a daughter? I mean another one? Other than Einhart?"

"When I was sixteen, I donated an ovum to my best friend, her and her husband are the official parents but now Carim is in the hospital and Robert is in jail. The rat bastard nearly killed her. Caro, my daughter is in custody of child services, I can't leave her there, she has to be so scared."

Reaching out for Nanoha's hands, "I'm sorry Nanoha but I have to go, I have to make sure Caro is okay. I need to make sure Carim is going to make it, I… we were best of friends once and she's in critical condition."

She kissed her hard and will all the love she could put in it then turned to Lindy, "I expect you to take good care of Einhart. I'll call every night, I love you guys."

She then knelt to hug her daughter, looking Einhart in the eyes she said, "Be good love, I'll be home soon, I promise."

The little girl nodded solemnly and sniffed back her tears. Fate brushed one more kiss on her cheek the turned to take her little blonde in a tight hug. Pulling back she smiled at the worried look on her face.

Kissing her forehead she said, "I'm coming back Vivio, I have to go take care of a little girl who needs my help. She's in a scary place all alone. You know I'd never leave you or Einhart in a scary place, I can't do that to Caro either."

The little girl threw herself at Fate and in a choked voice said, "Please don't forget us."

Tightening her grip on the child she said, "Never love. You, Einhart and Nanoha-mama are my life. I'll be home again before you know it. Take care of Einhart for me until then. I'll call you every night to check on all of you."

Releasing the child and giving Nanoha one more soul searing kiss she walked out the door to her car, Precia trailing her. Nanoha's head was in a whirl, 'She has a daughter? She's gone just like that?'

A hand came down on her shoulder, Lindy pulled her back into the house and over to the couch. Before Lindy tried to explain she sent both the children to their room so she could talk privately with Nanoha.

"Nanoha, Fate has to go, you know how much she loves Einhart, well it's the same with Caro, she has to make sure the girl is alright."

"I remember Fate-chan telling me about Carim and Caro a long time ago but she never mentioned she was the biological mother of the child, how did that come about?"

"Well they were very close growing up. Carim was a very big part of her life up until… huh? Right about the time she met you things really started going sour between them. Fate's known her since she was about four years old and well over the years Fate became well I guess the word would be "infatuated" with her. Carim is about five years older than Fate and has always been one of those sweet girl-next-door types, aah well, a lot like you I guess. Well time went on and Carim became something of a big sister to Fate so when Carim and her husband decided to have a baby they asked Fate to donate and she did."

"Why though? That's not something most people would do especially for someone who was already neglecting their friendship, Fate-chan told me they grew apart after Carim got married. She also didn't seem to approve of her husband, from her description of this guy and recent events he sounds like a real ass, so why would Fate-chan agree to such a thing?"

"Truthfully because there were only ever two people not directly related to her that Fate ever felt a close bond too before she met you, Carim was the first. The other was another girl, Akko Sanders but she was more of a sparring rival then a romantic interest for Fate..."

"Wait, what do you mean by romantic interest?"

"Uh…well Carim is the reason Fate realized she's a lesbian, by the time she was fourteen she was uh…in love with her. Anything Carim wanted Fate would give her, I don't think Carim ever really understood the power she had over Fate but Robert did. So when it became clear Carim would never be able to produce viable ovum of her own Robert had Carim sweet talk her into donating."

Nanoha stared at Lindy blankly, she wasn't happy with what she was hearing.

"Look Nanoha nothing ever happened between them, they were only ever friends, yes there was a time Fate might have wanted more but she's happy with you so don't look at me like that."

Sapphire eyes looked down into her lap to stare at her hands now clutching each other, "Okay, but I want to know more, what kind of relationship does Fate have with Caro, how close is Fate now with her mother?"

"You have to remember Fate was barely sixteen when she decided to donate, she was being pretty reckless at the time since her grandmother had just died and she wanted to do this as a way to bind Carim to her. While I and her father knew it wouldn't hurt her physically we were all concerned what would happen if or should I say when Robert decided to keep the child from her. We finally convinced Fate she had to have some safe guards if she was going to donate so we had Robert and Carim sign legal documents stating if anything happened to either of them the Fate would become the child's legal guardian. She was also to receive at least three visits with the child a year and as long as Fate did not reveal her part in her birth she would be named godmother. The relationship between Fate and the family was pretty open at first but as time went on Robert started to restrict her access and she only ever saw the child during major family events like birthdays, Christmas and such. Fate was really upset about the whole situation especially when Robert started talking about having a second child and expected her to be a willing donor again."

"So what'd she do?"

"At first she tried to get Carim to leave Robert, told her she'd help her get a divorce and take care of her and the baby. She eventually got banned from the Ru Lushe house because of her behavior towards Robert, got into an all out fist fight with him when he started treating Caro like a possession in front of her."

"I can't believe anyone could resist Fate if they really cared about her, what's wrong with that woman, why did she put up with his dominating behavior?"

"Nanoha, Carim has always been a naïve child. She honestly always believed Robert had her best interest at heart. He has been the center of her world since her parents died and became her guardian. Not even Fate could dissuade her from giving him everything he demanded of her. Even her scandalized fans couldn't stop her from marrying the man. Robert is nearly thirty years older than her and had already had one wife before her who died in child birth. It was feared that would be Carim's fate too."

"So Fate-chan is going back to the U.S. to take care of a woman she has been in love with since she was a child and with whom she has a child." Nanoha succinctly summed up.

"No, Nanoha, Fate doesn't love her anymore, I wouldn't even describe them as friends now. Nanoha, Carim never even came to the hospital after the accident, nor did Fate ever try to reach out to her. Sigh…I don't know if what Fate felt for Carim was anything like what she feels for you but I can tell you her greatest concern is the child. As soon as things are settled she will come home, to you."

Worried sapphire eyes didn't look convinced.

So Lindy went on, "She had opportunities to be with other women since her accident and even before that, but she was never interested. I didn't understand fully why until I saw you two together. She loves you, you are the center of her universe. She knows one day Einhart will grow up and have her own life but you, she wants you with her for the rest of her life."

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Fate and Precia arrived at three am and were faced with a platoon of reporters at the airport gates. She pushed through not saying a word, her face a mask of calm disinterest. They arrived at the hospital an hour later and were greeted with yet another mob of reporters. She once again pushed her way in and was immediately shown into a room where Arf was waiting with a doctor.

Immediately she jumped in, "Do you have all the documents I asked for, umm how is she?"

"Fate this is Doctor Ishida, she is Carim's doctor."

"Hello doctor, this is my mother Dr. Precia Testarossa, she would like to go over Carim's status with you. I hope all the documentation is in order so you'll be able to release Carim's medical records to us."

"Yes, everything seems to be in line, as for your friend she has a severe concussion, a dislocated jaw and a great many contusions all over her body. Nearly all her ribs are cracked and her right arm's radius bone has been broken but over all she is in a stable condition now. She is resting now but you should be able to see her soon. Dr. Testarossa would like to examine her chart?"

"Yes please, we will need all the documentation possible for the divorce and civil trials."

"Thank you," Fate replied nodding at the doctor then turning to Arf, "I need the packet, I want to get Caro as soon as possible and bring her here to see her mother. Then we can take stock of the situation."

"Right, here it is," handing the document envelop to her cousin, "we'll stay here until you get back."

Fate quickly made her way to the main housing facility for child protective services and made her demands that Caro be released to her. When they began to give her the run around she pulled out the documents stating she was the child's biological mother and legal guardian and all her proper identification. An hour later the girl was brought out and seeing her godmother ran to her.

The girl broke down in tears and clung to the woman whom she had not seen in over four years. Fate picked up the petite child and carried her out to the waiting car. After a brief visit with her unconscious mother Fate took her back to Testarossa House where they both bathed and fell asleep. Precia had refused to return to Testarossa house and was invited to stay with Arf at her former beach house.

The next few days Fate was followed everywhere by reporters asking about her Carim's status, taking photos of her and twelve year old Caro. Someone leaked the information that Caro was actually Fate's daughter and then the phone calls never stopped at TC's main office asking for an official statement. These requests were ignored then three days later when Carim was finally released and was seen being cared for by Fate scandalous speculations were spun in the tabloids. It was written that the two were lovers and that was why Robert had attacked his wife.

Fate called home everyday but the sixteen hour time difference made it hard for her to speak for long. She spoke to Vivio and Einhart about their day and was given updates by Lindy on their progress. But the one person who didn't come to the phone was Nanoha, at first this was due to her work schedule but then it was due to the photo she'd seen of Fate lifting Carim into the car and how the woman had clung to her. She felt sick, thinking that someone else was so close to Fate, touching her and she knew if she spoke to her she'd say something she'd regret. So she had the others pass on her news and love and waited for the day Fate would return.


	11. Chapter 11: The End of Pain?

**Disclaimer:** I do not claim ownership of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha Series or its Characters.

A/N: Re-edited 10/22, please check out the sequel to this story if you haven't yet. Reviews are always appreciated.

**~"~"~"~**

**Chapter Eleven: The End of Pain?**

Fate had just come back from the attorney's office, she had retained counsel for Carim to handle her divorce and was now talking with the state prosecutor regarding the criminal charges pending against Robert Ru Lushe. The man had gotten out on bail but was under a restraining order. Fate had seen from the corner of her eye a shadowy figure more than once since his release but hadn't caught him in the vicinity of her home yet. Her main concerned with Caro's welfare which made getting Carim back on her feet a suddenly a priority. She knew they both would need a lot of help rebuilding their lives and keeping Robert from disrupting it.

After two weeks of being housed within the gated Testarossa House Carim wanted to make a statement and start on her path to independence. Carim's version of independence meant finally giving Fate what she always wanted, herself, and acquiring someone new to take control of her life. While Fate was away handling some legal matters the older blonde called in the group of reporters to the stoop of the great house and made her first public announcement. She knew she needed Fate if she was going to get through this trying time. She also knew Fate had someone in her life which was causing her to be distracted whenever they were together which was something she wasn't use to. She'd always been at the center of Fate's attention when they were together and she needed that reassurance now. So during her announcement she decided to give Fate what she'd always wanted from her.

"_Thank you for coming today, I have some important things to announce for myself and my daughter. There have been rumors that Fate Testarossa is somehow related to her and I want to clarify this. Fate donated her ovum to me almost thirteen years ago and with my husband Robert's sperm we were able to conceive our beautiful daughter. Fate did this out of her love for me, she knew how important it was to me at the time to have a child. Now that my eyes have been clearly opened to the type of man I have been married to for fifteen years I wish to announce I have filed for divorce. It is my hope that Fate will be my co-parent from now on. It's taken me years to realize she is the best thing that has ever come to me other than our daughter. I wish to take this moment to declare my love for Fate and my humble desire to make a life with her and our child. Thank you."_

Fate was sitting in the law office of the assistant D.A. when she got a call from a frantic Arf. After being told to turn on a TV they turned to a news station and were aghast at the circus going on. Fate listened to Carim's announcement and felt as if she'd been slapped. 'How could she do this to me, she knows I have someone I'm in love with already, is she trying to ruin that?'

Fate didn't know what to do. She didn't have feelings for Carim anymore, hadn't for years. When she looked at the blonde she only felt pity. Right now she wanted Nanoha, needed her next to her, not hearing her voice for the past three weeks had her on edge. Now with this announcement what would she think? Did Nanoha think she would stay with Carim? Did she question Fate's feelings for her? When she got home that afternoon there was the usual gang of reporters sitting in front of the house. She didn't stop to give a statement instead pushed through to the house and walked inside as if it was just another day.

Carim was sitting on the couch reading a book while Caro was listening to her music on her IPod and working on homework. They both looked up when they felt the menacing aura fill the room. Carim flinched at the anger in Fate's eyes, shouldn't she be happy? Caro pulled her ear buds out and went to her godmother, "Um welcome back Fate, I'll go upstairs and finish my work."

"No, sit down, you need to hear this," pointing at the chair.

The girl meekly did as she was told, she knew Fate didn't have feelings for her mother, and the fact that her mother was trying to force Fate into a relationship when she already had someone made her feel disgusted at her behavior. She had vivid memories of Fate trying to convince her mother to leave her father and of her even declaring her love for her but that had changed after she came back from Japan all those years ago. She was still warm and friendly but no longer looked at her mother with longing or made any attempt to separate her parents other than a cursory you can do better than him.

"Carim, I don't know why you said those things to the press. But you must know I don't love you any longer, I haven't for a very long time. You are a friend, I can't even call you my best friend after everything that's happened in the last few years. I love Caro, and she is the only reason I'm helping you now. I will not shirk my responsibilities and leave her to the tender mercies of Robert. You will both have house room and any financial assistance I can give you but in two weeks I am leaving. I am only staying until the grand jury proceedings are completed. After that I'm going home, I have a family of my own, and a woman I love beyond reason, I will not let you ruin that."

Carim got up and tried to kiss her but Fate caught her by the arms and gently but firmly pushed the wounded woman away. "I may have wanted that when I was a child, but I don't want it now. You no longer attract me, I pity you. Don't you ever try that again, I'm not Robert but I will not hesitate to throw you out. There are plenty of other properties you can stay at, I don't need you here."

Then she released her and went upstairs to make some phone calls.

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

Nanoha saw the news broadcast of Carim's public announcement of her love for Fate and felt a flash of déjà vu, damn it how many women were going to try to claim her Fate. She wanted to catch the next flight to California and lay claim to her blonde but she was also fearful that Fate wanted Carim and was now happy. She shared a child with Carim, she must have a strong bond to the woman also since they've known each other for years. Was it all over now? She wanted to speak to Fate but at the same time she didn't want to hear the words 'It's over, I'm staying here with my first love and child, Einhart will be sent for, sorry for the misunderstanding.'

Fate called her twice the first day then for each day after her calls came more often, voice messages were deleted without being listened to as Nanoha was afraid of what they might say. Finally Lindy came to her and asked her why she was avoiding Fate.

"I'm scared, I can't talk to her, what if she wants to break things off, if she's realized I was just a substitute for Carim?"

Lindy looked at her with a mix of exasperation and sadness, "You're hurting her Nanoha, she needs to hear your voice, to know you believe in her. She's coming home soon but she's starting to doubt your feelings, she was crying the last time I spoke to her. If it wasn't for Caro she'd have already come home but until the grand jury trial is over and Robert is back in custody she doesn't want to risk her being kidnapped or hurt. Robert is very unstable from what I've heard from both Fate and Arf. I wouldn't put it past him to do something stupid once he realizes things are starting to look bad for him."

Nanoha was conflicted, she wanted to hear Fate's voice, feel her arms wrap around her, taste her lips but then there was Carim. Fate hadn't made an official denial of Carim's declaration and everyday that went by the more people began to assume there was something going on between them. "If she really loves me then why hasn't she rejected Carim publicly? Why are they still living in the same house?"

"I don't know Nanoha, I asked her about that and she said soon, but I don't know what's going on over there."

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

It had been a week since Carim's announcement and Fate knew she had to make a public statement, Lindy had told her of Nanoha's concerns and why she was avoiding her. It hurt her that Nanoha didn't trust her but then also understood it was her actions and inaction that had lead to her feeling that way. It had been her first instinct to go out to the pack of reporters on day one and deny Carim's words and kick the woman out. Then she let her head cool, and realized if she did that she would be leaving Caro exposed to harm. Right now the only reason Robert hadn't attacked Caro and Carim was his mistaken assumption that Fate had staked a claim on them. So she bided her time and hired bodyguards and upgraded the security on one of her other properties and now that everything was ready it was time to cut all public ties with Carim.

She went out to the gate and invited the reporters back to the stoop and made her own announcement, hoping it wasn't too little too late.

"_Thank you for coming out again, I know you all have a lot of questions and I'll try to address them but first I have a statement. Carim Gracia and I do not, I repeat do not have a romantic relationship. I in the past did feel romantic feelings for her but that's changed. I have someone with whom I am in a relationship with and I will not be breaking off that relationship to start one with Ms. Gracia. I am providing Ms. Gracia with all the support and help I can as a friend. I plan to be a part of our daughter Caro Ru Lushe's life from now on but from a distance, my life is in Japan now. Once the grand jury make their decision on whether Robert Ru Lushe should be held in custody until his trial has been made I will be returning to Japan."_

"_Fate…Fate, who is your lover?"_

_Smiling she replied, "A wonderful woman by the name of Nanoha Takamachi, I've known and loved her for a number of years."_

"_Is that the woman with a child you have been seen with recently?"_

"_Yes, she and I both have adopted daughters. They are best of friends and are quite happy with our relationship."_

"_Fate, Japan doesn't allow same-sex marriage as of yet, will she be joining you here for a marriage ceremony?"_

"_I would like it very much for us to be married one day but I don't think we are at the stage of our relationship where we are ready to marry. I can say she is the only person I can see myself marrying."_

"_Fate, if Robert Ru Lushe is not remanded how will you and Carim handle her security, the man nearly beat her to death."_

"_I have recently hired a personal body guard for both Carim and Caro, they will also be moving into one of the gated Testarossa estates. I don't want them to have to live like prisoners but I also do not want them to be exposed to danger anymore than necessary."_

"_Fate how long have you known you are homosexual?"_

"_Since I was about thirteen, it's been a struggle to come to terms with that, especially since I was an actor playing romantic roles. I am not ashamed of my sexuality but I knew a lot of people would not like it and it would have an effect on my career. In the end it was the love and support of my family and Nanoha that finally allowed me to get past the… the sense that I would be failing my fans by not living up to my popular image, we only have one life and need to grasp happiness with both hands."_

"_Fate did you and Akko Sanders ever have a relationship?"_

"_Ha-ha, no! Akko has always been in love with one person, her wife. We were…are friends, she taught me a lot. She has always been a role model for me, seeing her and her wife together has always made me believe that happiness was attainable."_

"_Fate, what about that other girl in Japan, Ginga Nakajima?"_

"_NO! Ginga Nakajima is an employee of TCJ and that is all. I do not even consider her a friend."_

_~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~_

Fate still hadn't heard from Nanoha and she was feeling on edge. There was still three days until the grand jury trial was concluded and she felt like time had slowed, each minute feeling like an hour. She moved Carim and Caro to another house in the meantime and the signed on body guards and domestic staff for the new household were all in place. All that could be done had been done and she felt at loose ends. So she decided to go out for a drive down to Arf's home to eat a late dinner and perhaps spend the night.

The gates swung open to an empty street, the reporters having decamped after her announcement. She was just about to pull forward into the street when a figure loomed out of the dark. She at first couldn't tell who it was but then a glint of light off a metallic object sent a flash of foreboding through her and she shifted down and to the side in her seat before the shots began deafening her.

Five shots rang out shattering her front windshield, ripping through the interior and taking out the back glass, then a pause and a final shot. The silence following was terrifying, unsure if her assailant was still there she carefully reached for her cell phone, dialed 911 and in a clipped voice stated her address and her status before dropping the phone and clutching her wounds.

The police and EMS arrived within minutes and she was pulled from her vehicle. A steady drizzle of blood leaking around her fingers was immediately attended too. As she was helped to the ambulance she saw the dark figure on the ground, the shape familiar, Robert. Unable to reach his wife he had decided to enact his revenge on the woman who had always protected her and stood in his way before shooting himself in the head.

Fate was transported to the closest hospital and there they treated her arm, she was lucky having only been clipped by two of the shots, both wounds superficial though she had lost quite a bit of blood. One major blood vessel had been severed which had lead to heavy bleeding which the trauma doctors fairly easily controlled but she'd need to be kept overnight at least for observation. Too bad for all the nursing staff she was such a bad patient, she wanted out of the hospital and to catch the first flight home. Her family back in Japan had to be frantic, the media making it sound like she'd been wounded severely. After being sedated the doctors called her next of kin Precia and Arf. Precia immediate made her way to the hospital to check on her daughter while Arf called Lindy and the rest of the family to let them know what was going on.

Nanoha awoke groggily to the phone ringing and once she heard Lindy's voice she came instantly awake. The words spoken sending waves of terror through her, Lindy was to leave within hours to see to Fate taking Einhart with her. Nanoha immediately requested she book tickets for herself and Vivio, they would not stand by waiting for news, they had to go to her. Within minutes Nanoha had packed her bags and carried a sleeping Vivio to the waiting car. When the girl awoke they were already on the plane, seated next to a sleeping Einhart. Both children had been allowed to sleep until they awoke naturally before being told of what had happened to Fate.

Once Vivio awoke it wasn't long before Einhart was also, both girls confused about being on an airplane. Nanoha allowed Lindy to tell the girls what was happening, afraid her own voice would crack and she'd give into the tears threatening to overtake her. Fate, Fate, Fate, her name pounding in her head, how could she have been so cowardly as to avoid her. What ifs ran through her mind, the twelve odd hour flight leaving her to much time to envision the worst case scenarios.

They arrived and hurried to a taxi which would take them to the hospital directly. Dropping bags in the hallway outside the door they could hear Fate's voice arguing with her doctor and Precia. Einhart pushed her way in and began to scold her mother for her behavior. The doctor was shocked by this but at once recognized it was best to leave his wayward patient to her mother and family. Both children quickly descended onto the blonde and joining her on the bed and crying. Fate flabbergasted that her family had come to her so quickly couldn't help crying herself. With her one free hand she tried to calm the children petting their cheeks and in a hiccupping voice reassuring them she was okay.

Nanoha stood in the door watching the reunion, she wanted so desperately to go to her and wrap her in her arms but now all the insecurities came flooding back. Then she felt someone behind her and stepped aside to allow them to pass. The blonde woman was taller than Nanoha and her blue eyes took her in with a measure of resentment. She strode over to Fate and began to try to pet and coddle her. Fate growled at her, "Back off Carim."

"Fate please don't be like that, I'm worried about you. You were hurt because of me. Please let me take care of you."

"I don't need you to take care of me, my family is here," then she looked over to the woman at the door. "Nanoha-love please," she begged as she reached out her good hand to her.

Nanoha came over to her and took her hand, looked over her bandaged arm in a sling. She couldn't speak, the warm hand in hers squeezed hers and that made her tears begin to flow. Precia seeing this decided they needed time alone. She told the girls to come with her and Lindy for a bit as Fate and Nanoha needed some time alone. The girls nodded and scampered off the bed towards Lindy who was at the door. Precia then tried to push the other visitor out the door but Carim refused to leave, "No, I need to speak to her."

Fate looked at her at this, "We don't have anything to say to each other, you're free from Robert now, the attorneys will help you in settling his estate. Good bye Carim."

She pulled Nanoha closer to her as she spoke until she was seated on the bed and she could wrap her good arm around her waist. She needed Nanoha close, she didn't want there to be any question on who she wanted.

"Just like that? You don't have anything else to say to me?" her fearful tone expressing her feelings of abandonment better than words.

"Carim, go home, Caro needs you, tell her I'm fine. I'm not the person for you, I never was. Be smarter about love this time. Be with someone who loves you for who you are not what you can do. You'll always have my support but I can't give you anything else and if you were honest with yourself you'd know that you really don't want me either. You're straight, find yourself a good man this time, someone who can be a good father for Caro."

At that Precia pulled the woman out of the room and murmured they were taking the girls down to the cafeteria for some breakfast then would come back. Fate heard and thanked her mother and smiled at the children following after her. Once the door was closed Fate sighed and leaned back onto her bed pulling Nanoha down onto her. Nanoha squeaked her protest fearful of hurting her before Fate caught her lips in a kiss then nothing mattered.

They lost themselves in the kiss, Fate's one good hand rubbing up and down Nanoha's back before dipping under her shirt to touch the skin she had missed for so long. Nanoha pulled back and looked down at her lover, "Mou Fate-chan, you're hurt right now, this is no time for that."

Then she instantly softened her words by planting another kiss on her lips and snuggling into her side. Nanoha's hand went over her stomach and began to rub tiny circles with her thumb on the toned muscles. Fate sighed in content, pulling her tighter against her. "I love you Nanoha, I hope you believe me when I say that, I don't ever want to lose you."

Nanoha felt her tears spring up again, her guilt at ignoring Fate this whole time eating at her conscience. Pulling back so she could look into Fate's eyes, "I'm sorry Fate-chan, it was wrong of me to avoid you but I was scared. You left so suddenly and when Lindy told me about your past with Carim I felt really insecure about everything. I thought that you'd want to be with her if given a chance."

Sighing, "Silly Nanoha, I love you, after meeting you I couldn't even think of being with anyone else. What I felt for Carim as a teenager was little more than an infatuation. I admired her abilities and was grateful for all the attention she gave me. When I compare how I feel about you to what felt back then it's night and day, I literally cannot go a single day, ha truthfully an hour, without thinking about you. You make me feel complete, you just have to enter the room and I feel happy."

Running her hand through auburn locks before pulling her back down for a kiss, when they broke apart once more for air she smiled, "If it would make you feel more secure we can always get married?"

Nanoha stared at her in disbelief, "Fate-chan! You can't be serious?"

Laughing, "I have never been more serious in my life, I don't ever plan on leaving you Nanoha, and if you are willing then…"

She was cut off by another kiss, warm tears falling on her face and gentle hands cupping her face. "You really don't like wasting time do you?"

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**Epilogue: Six Years Later**

"Ugh! I don't know how you did this. I feel like a beached whale." The auburn haired woman complained.

Her blonde counterpoint laughed at this before leaning over to kiss her gently on the temple, "You're doing fine love, but I did warn you the last month was going to be uncomfortable."

"Mou Fate-chan, you're supposed to be supportive!" Nanoha pouted to her wife.

Sitting next to the heavily pregnant woman on the couch she took her feet onto her lap and began to massage them eliciting a moan of pleasure. "Does this count as supportive?"

"It's a start, keep going. Hmmm, that's nice." She replied as she snuggled deeper into the cushions.

"Fate-mama the rascal got into my room again! She's a menace!" An angry teenage blonde dropped the squirming offender into her mother's lap.

"Oh what did my Sweet Potato do this time?" She asked looking down at the auburn haired toddler who was looking back at her with innocent burgundy eyes.

"She pulled all my clothes out of the closet and was trying them on, she got juice all other them!"

A childish voice repeated happily, "Juice!"

Christmas colored heterochromatic eyes slit in irritation, "Oh I don't think so midget! You aren't going to get away with this by playing cute."

A softly mature voice called out, "Don't be so grumpy Vi-chan, Fia-chan didn't do it on purpose. She just likes your clothes because they're pink."

"Umhm! I can't believe it, she's gotten to you too. The little menace has turned everyone into her personal slaves! I can only image what the next one's going to be like," she groused pointing at her mother's swollen stomach.

Nanoha reached out to her annoyed daughter and was happy when the girl came over to and knelt next to her. "Sweetie you were just like Fia when I first found you, I swear I had to put locks on everything just to keep you safe from pulling things onto your head. I think she admires her big sister and wants to be just like you. But if it makes you feel any better we can put a lock on your door."

She was about to reply when a small body threw itself against her head, "Wiwi Fhaya luws ouu!"

"Ack!" she choked as little arms caught her around the neck.

Everyone laughed at the sight of the two sisters now tumbling on the carpet, Vivio had pulled the small girl forward and began to tickle her mercilessly. "You think being cute is going to save you, I don't think so!"

Then another set of hands joined the fray, Vivio falling back onto her other sister who had come to save the small victim. Soon both Einhart and Fia had the blonde pinned and were tickling her reminding Fate of the first time she met the little blonde. So many years had passed and everyday was a blessing. Sliding onto the floor herself she pulled the struggling blonde from her tormentors hugging the girl to herself, "No more, this is my Vivio-chan, no more picking on her you bullies."

The toddler made a face of outrage, "NO! My Wiwi!" and jumped into her sister's lap.

Vivio finally relinquishing her anger at the little girl hugged her tightly, "My Fia."

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"I HATE YOU! You lied, this hurts like hell!" The auburn haired woman was clutching her wife's hand in an iron grip making her grimace in pain.

"Nano-love, please you're going to break my hand!" she pleaded.

The gurney continued to wheel towards the delivery room, Fate jogging to keep up and prevent her arm from being yanked off by her enraged wife.

Four hours later a small infant girl was welcomed into the world and Nanoha was a sobbing mess. After being cleaned and swaddled she was brought to her mothers and Nanoha was in awe, "She's a mini Fate-chan," she whispered lightly brushing a finger through the blond tuff of hair then down a soft cheek.

The infant opened her eyes and bright sapphire eyes blinked before she yawned and a small fist clutched at the hand. Then she made little sucking sounds and tried to nuzzle into the breast she was held to. Nanoha laughed and shifted the child to lower her hospital gown so the babe could have her first meal. Fate let out a soft giggle when Nanoha winced at the small mouth clamping on like a barracuda.

"Yup, definitely a mini Fate-chan," she growled at her wife.

The blonde leaned in and kissed her with a beautiful smile, "You did great Nanoha, she's perfect."

"Hmm, yes she is, so what are we going to name her? We still haven't come to an agreement."

"Well considering how much trouble she gave you maybe you should make the final decision, anything but Destiny, that's a horrible name for a child."

"But it'd be so cute," Nanoha pouted.

"No! I let you have your way last time. Poor Fia and I get confused over who you're yelling at most of the time."

"Well if you and your little minion weren't always getting into trouble there wouldn't be any issues. I still can't believe she got into the pantry at the bakery and climbed into a barrel of sugar, she's menace all right, just like you."

"I believe your parents have already confirmed Fia is just like you, they even have photos of you doing something similar at the same age. Momoko even calls her by your name when she's acting up so I rest my case."

"Humph! Sure, sure, Lindy says she's like you, a little monkey always climbing on stuff and…mmff?!"

Deciding it would be better to cut off the argument before Nanoha began to tell tales she did what any wise wife would do and kissed her. Then breaking the kiss, but only after Nanoha stopped struggling and was beginning to take the initiative, she suggested, "How about Sora? You've always liked that name and she has your beautiful sapphire eyes so it's fitting."

"Sweet talker," then looking down at the child smiled, "Sora Takamachi-Testarossa, I like that."

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**Midori-ya Café**

The happy family came into the bustling café and made their way to an open booth near the back of the restaurant when they were hijacked by a squealing woman in glasses. "Nanoha-chan! Where's the baby, let me see her!"

Laughing, "Calm down Miyuki-onee she's right here."

The noise of her gushing over the child brought more people coming from the kitchen. A fit man with black hair peppered with grey came out followed by a woman who looked remarkably like her youngest daughter. Seeing the group standing in the center of the café they rushed over.

"Nanoha? Fate-chan what are you all doing here, shouldn't Nanoha be resting at home?" The stern man questioned.

The blonde seemed to flounder under the direct glare being directed at her, seeing this the younger blonde of the group jumped forward to hug the man, "Ojii-san! Please don't glare at Fate-mama she didn't have a choice, Nanoha-mama was going stir crazy at home and wanted to go out to eat. Now come see Sora-chan she's getting bigger every day, she's soo cute!"

Momoko was now holding her newest grandchild and came over to her husband, "Look at her Shiro, she's getting so big."

The man's frown melted at the sight and was soon cuddling the child in his arms. Momoko took the moment to herd everyone over to the empty booth and greet her daughter, Fate and other grandchildren. Once settled the two older children and couple ordered their lunch from the servitor called over by Miyuki so the family could stay together.

"So who is taking care of your café right now?" Miyuki asked.

Nanoha looked up and smiled, "We have Vita-chan watching it, she's quite the manager."

Fate laughed at the understatement, the fiery redhead had their staff hopping on their toes. The petite woman was the head engineer at a local automobile manufacturer but had taken to managing the restaurant during her "vacations," according to her it was restful as she could yell at people without having to worry about being reprimanded herself. The staff at Midori-ya II knew her well and didn't take her attitude personally. If anything they liked to tease her until she was yelling and chasing them around with a wooden spoon.

Fate shifted in her seat to make more room for her wife then added, "We'll both be going back to work next week. Lindy will be taking care of the little ones when we're at the café."

"I still can't believe you retired from acting, both of you were so popular then poof you're getting married and having babies." Miyuki declared.

Nanoha laughed as she settled against her wife's side, "It wasn't that sudden, we had to wait until Precia finished her research before we could have Fia, she worked like a mad woman when we told her we wanted to have a baby of our own. She'd given up her research to take care of Fate after her accident. She was so close to break through that I'm really surprised she never picked it up again after Fate got out of the hospital."

"Well it must be nice to have a genius for a mother-in-law, you didn't even have to wait for her to publish her findings or pay for all the technical work. I have a friend looking into the procedure and was shocked to find out how expensive and time consuming the process is."

"Hmm, well Fate-chan was the guinea pig for the first round, by the time I was ready to have Sora Precia had fine-tuned things, it really wasn't as onerous as that first time was. We both had to have ovum harvested and then everything else was tech work. The hardest part for us was having the fertilized egg implanted and hoping it would take. We had to try four times for Fia but I caught first time."

Fate had been stroking her wife's tummy throughout the conversation and was happily nuzzling her face into auburn hair. The blessing of both their children was still a shock to her, she wasn't sure she'd ever get over the blitzed out happiness that filled her every day when waking up with Nanoha and seeing her children's faces. The goofy grin she had on her face was making it hard for her in-laws not to laugh at her.

Shiro was watching the pair and decided to ask, "Will you two be having any more children after Sora?"

Nanoha looked at her father and smiled, "No, I think we're done, I know I don't want to go through that again and Fate had some complications during delivery due to the trauma she received to her hip from the car accident. I don't want her to risk herself in another pregnancy, we need her too much."

Then turning her head she kissed her wife before continuing, "Besides I think four children are quite enough, I'm having a hard enough time keeping up with this lot as it is. Ein-chan and Vi-chan are going to be starting their own acting and modeling careers soon so we want to be available to help them get through all the drama that's going to create."

The older girls looked up at their mother at this and smiled shyly, before going back to entertaining the little sister sitting between them.

Momoko was surprised by this, "Oh, I thought you didn't want them to join the entertainment industry? Especially after all that drama in getting your grandfather's will overturned so Arf could stay on as President."

"I really don't want them to but it's their decision, I realized keeping them from doing that was just as bad as trying to force them too. They'll have enough hardships in life as it is, so we're going to support them in whatever they want to do. Besides I have already threatened Arf and Linith that if either of them even think of overworking my babies I'll hang them by their toes from nearest tree, and then do a number of gruesome, improbable and unconscionable things to their bodies." Fate replied.

The group at the table laughed at this declaration, it was nearly verbatim what Shiro had told Fate he'd do to her if she ever hurt or allowed his daughter to be hurt. Nanoha leaned her head back and kissed her wife's chin before settling against her again. The girls rolled their eyes, their mothers were so mushy and lovey-dovey. Shiro gave Fate a humored nod and pushed on to discuss what the girls had planned. Miyuki and Momoko getting very excited and declaring they would tell all their customers to watch out for the projects when they came out.

It had been hard for Fate to accept her daughters' decision, but after talking it out and being reassured they weren't doing it because Fate had in any way, shape or form made them feel like it was an obligation due to their family name she finally relented. Now they were going to be represented by TCJ and their first projects were set to be released. Einhart was to be a model for fashionable clothing lines in a popular teen magazine and Vivio was playing in a school drama TV movie.

Throughout the process Fate had learned it was possible to support her children without setting up impossible expectations for them, if anything she had found herself trying to make them relax and not take the whole process so seriously. The memories of her own stressed out childhood had resurfaced but she hadn't felt any urges to chastise or intimidate her children like her grandparents, instead the smiling faces of her daughters succeeding by their own merit and hard work had loosen the final bonds on her heart. She was finally able to let go of her anger and resentment, realizing if she hadn't suffered in the past she wouldn't be the woman she is today and wouldn't be able to fully appreciate her current happiness. A happiness whose roots were in her own career that had brought her halfway around the world and to a woman she never dreamed of meeting. Now so many years later every one of her secret dreams had come true and life was perfect.


End file.
